Pocket money for 13 year olds (year 8)

(98 Posts)
posey Tue 06-Oct-09 14:19:05

Just wondering how much is the going rate, what they have to do with it, (eg phone top ups, clothes,etc) and do they have to earn it.

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 14:30:47

my dd is in yr 9 but we had the same arrangement last year

she gets a tenner a week which she earns by doing chores around the house (proper ones like vaccing and cleaning the bathrooms etc)

I buy her essential clothes, uniform etc and toiletries

She uses her money for music downloads, going to cinema with friends, MaccyD's, extra makeup and non-essential clothes etc

ADifferentMe Tue 06-Oct-09 15:23:36

Mine is Y9, only gets £20 a month but I constantly top up because buses round here are expensive and it wouldn't go far. Can't give her more because it would all go on the 1st day of the month.

Will occasionally pay her to do something I hate grin

posey Tue 06-Oct-09 19:10:07

Thanks for replying smile
Anyone else, to give me a very balanced view!

janeite Tue 06-Oct-09 19:14:17

Dd2 is 12 and in Yr 8. She gets 30 pound a month (as does her sister in Yr 10) then we pay top up separately. Their mobiles are only for emergencies and texting us though: they don't text friends with them, so the credit lasts quite a while.

They have to keep their rooms tidy, help with the washing up etc etc and be good in order to get it and they get it on the first of each month.

DD1 blows hers on clothes (non-essentials), jewellery, make up and in Eat / dd2 saves hers up and then buys 'big' things - digital camera, DS, DS games etc.

pointyhat Tue 06-Oct-09 19:30:12

We are rubbish at pocket money. We don't give any, we just pay for the odd thing that they want. And we fund dd1's riding lessons which are pricey, natch.

Must start it up

NancyBotwin Tue 06-Oct-09 19:34:10

Have just started again with dd (12) - have decided to do weekly amount for now to see how she gets on - she has £5. That mainly gets spent on magazines and sweets. In theory she is supposed to save up for non-essential clothes (eg if she fancies a new top because she is going to a school disco but has plenty she could wear) and birthday & Christmas presents for immediate family. Too early yet to say if that will work out!

frogs Tue 06-Oct-09 19:38:30

dd1 (14) gets £10 a week, and has done since the start of secondary school.

This has to fund anything she wants to buy that isn't essential. I will put £10 credit a month on her phone, and buy her clothes that she can convince me she actually needs. She's supposed to make her own packed lunches, if she forgets it she has to buy a canteen lunch out of her own money. She also has to fund presents for her friends, and trips to cinema/pizza hut etc.

I expect her to do reasonable chores round the house as part of being a member of the family, and this might well include one largish job at the weekend such as hoovering the house or cleaning the bathroom. Jobs that are really beyond the call of duty (defrosting and cleaning the fridge and freezer, cleaning out all the kitchen cupboards) I pay extra for.

She's doing a first aid certificate at half term so that she can start babysitting for neighbours to earn extra cash.

Slambang Tue 06-Oct-09 19:42:11

Ds gets £20 a month paid in to his bank. Seems to be less tempted to spend it all on sweets if it doesn't actually go in to his hands. wink

We still by him a basic wardrobe, top up his phone, magazines and unlimited boooks. He tends to spend it on music and increasingly on weird fashion items. smile

pointyhat Tue 06-Oct-09 19:42:29

You need to be careful you don't give them more pocket money than a small job would pay them. I think.

Slambang Tue 06-Oct-09 19:43:27

Oh forgot to say - ds has to do a weekly job (hoovering) to 'earn' his allowance.

Surfermum Tue 06-Oct-09 19:45:56

Interesting thread for me as I was wondering whether what dsd is getting is about right or not, or the norm.

We put £20 a month into her bank account. Her mum gives her her child benefit, so in total she gets about £80 a month.

Her mum buys her uniform and sanitary products, anything else comes out of her money.

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 19:47:09

my dd does chores every day-cleaning, mopping, vaccing, emptying dishwasher etc etc

and her own ironing

we call her Cinders !

Slambang Tue 06-Oct-09 19:48:50

I find the advantage of an allowance/pocket money is that there is a lot less 'Can you get me a ... every body at school has a ... why can't I have a... because I can smile sweetly and say yes darling you can get one yourself with your own money. (Ds still hasn't cottoned on that he probably gets less than he used to before his allowance.) wink

mmrred Tue 06-Oct-09 19:56:20

DD (just 15) gets £10 a week and is expected to buy all her own clothes except uniform - I think it has worked out really well - she budgets and is very responsible with her money.

She's expected to do her own chores and some household chores to 'earn' her pocket money.

cat64 Tue 06-Oct-09 19:57:18

ok - to give you the other end of the spectrum!!
ds gets £1.30 a week. If he wants to top up his phone, it comes out of that, If he wants sweets it comes out of that, He is expeceted to buy a (token) birthday and Christmas present for his parents and sisters. He manages and has money in 'his bank'. We pay for subs for things he belongs to. He doesn't wear make-up wink and is not that botheres about clothes, most of which come as birthday / Christmas prezzies.
Birthday and Christams money he gets go into the Buildong Society, and he can get that out if he wants to buy something particularly, but doesn't tend to.

slimeoncrazydemon Tue 06-Oct-09 20:09:19

My DD is 11 and gets £10 a month plus I pay £15 a month for her mobile [ it was my choice to get her a contract phone, which I only allow her to take out of the house when she stays at her Dad's or my parents house.] So..in total, £25 a month.

For that she does chores. Today she hoovered downstairs, mopped the kitchen floor, watched her brother in the bath for me and put the bin out. So I probably expect 15 minutes of jobs a day- nothing too arduous.

Surfermum Tue 06-Oct-09 20:14:54

I am clearly not getting value for money out of my step-daughter grin.

slimeoncrazydemon Tue 06-Oct-09 20:17:35

Start cracking that whip surfer!

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 20:20:01

surfermum, she should certainly be doing chores for that rather large amount of allowance !

Surfermum Tue 06-Oct-09 20:24:54

I think she does at her mums. If she lived with us I'd definitely expect her to. It just seems a bit mean for her to come and do chores here when she's only here for the weekend.

janeite Tue 06-Oct-09 20:28:33

80 pounds a month seems an awful lot to me.

rosieposey Tue 06-Oct-09 20:32:04

DD2 is in year 10 and is 14 - she gets 45 per month, out of that she buys concert tickets, stuff for her guitar and cosplay costumes. I buy her clothing, pay for haircuts, makeup and that kind of thing.

In return she is a great help around the house and since i had my lo really helps out with him too

Surfermum Tue 06-Oct-09 20:39:56

It seems a lot to me too, but it's not my decision to make, I'm only her step-mum wink.

purpleduck Tue 06-Oct-09 21:09:01

cat how on earth did you come up with £1.30????


ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 21:09:24

oi, chores still need doing at the weekend

seriously, she is not on her holidays when she comes to your place is she ???

slippery slope, sorry

she should contribute to the running of the household if she partakes of its comforts smile

are you her skivvy or what ?

Surfermum Tue 06-Oct-09 21:22:43

grin I know! She does put her things in the dishwasher <feeble emoticon>.

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 21:25:18


posey Tue 06-Oct-09 22:12:48

Thanks very much for all that. Seems most are on similarish amounts and are expected to do similarish things to earn it.
We had thought £15 per month and think we are probably on right track.
Thank you.

DD1 gets £20 a month into her bank account to cover phone, make-up, any clothes she wants but doesn't need, magazines, outings with friends. She hardly spends anything because she is saving for an Ipod Nano. It works out really well, because it has made her aware of how all the little fripperies really add up.

DD (12) year 8 gets £20 per month into bank, it is supposed to cover phone as well. She does routine chores, but extra ones like cutting grass, cleaning car earn her 2 or 3 pounds more on top.

seeker Tue 06-Oct-09 22:49:18

I'm a lone voice here. My children have pocket money - dd 13 gets 20 pounds a month and ds 8 gets 10 pounds a month. And they are expected to do quite a lot of jobs round the house. But the two things are not in any way connected. I think they should contribute to the family community because they are members of it, not because they are paid to do it. And I think they should have some money because you can't get by without any, not because they have earned it. They do get extra money for extra jobs - just not for every day, setting the table, taking the rubbish out, tidying your room watching your little brother sort of things.

As I said, I am a lone voice. But it works for us.

Slambang Tue 06-Oct-09 23:10:19

Not sure you're really a lone voice seeker. Most people seem to have similar-ish set ups. I agree that dcs should be doing their fair share of household jobs without being paid but becuase they are a member of the house.

Ds gets his allowance for his extra job (hoovering) on top of all the normal things he'd be expected to do as part of daily life (lay the table, help load dishwasher, tidy his room etc). Hoovering wasn't something he'd previously been asked to do and we introduced it as a requirement when we started his bank payments.

what a generous lot you are.

dd, admittedly 12, but year 8 gets 7.50 per month.
half of ds, who is 14.
dd, aged 9 gets half of dd, when i remember

That's exactly how it works for us, Seeker. They have always helped and expected to help- and they do it quite cheerfully too. It is just the over-and-aboves they get paid for.

cat64 Tue 06-Oct-09 23:34:07

Thanks SlartyBartFast - I was beginning to feel a bit alone on MN, in handing over a smaller than average amount!
Purpleduck he gets £1.30 a week, because he is 13. dd1 (who is 10, gets £1, and dd2 (who is 8) gets 80p - it's 10p per year of age, per week.
We've been willing to increase it now he's 13, but he doesn't really use it all up, and it has made him think a bit about budgeting - for example, he has a friend who's only suggestion for going out is to go to the cinema - which I think costs them £4.25 each. ds will suggest alternatives like the park or swimming which are free. He does go to the cinema sometimes, but waits until it is a film he particularly wants to see, and then goes on a Wednesday when he can get 2for1 through 'Orange' mobiles.
Seeker We too expect everyone who lives in the house to contribute to the work that has to get done. I'm not going down the "only helping if you pay me" route. On a lot of these threads there is usually a fairly even split on this.

jemart Tue 06-Oct-09 23:39:27

I used to get £20 a month - when Dad remembered to let me have it - but that was back in the 1990's. Surely pocket money has gone up with inflation?
My dd is not old enough yet for pocket money but I fully expect it to cost me atleast £10 a week.

cat64 Wed 07-Oct-09 00:00:19

but what would you spend £10 a week on ?
if you are used to being able to spend whatever you like, without saving, then how do you learn to budget and save for things, and then cope once you hit the world where Mumy and Daddy aren't going to give you everything you want ?
To me, the main point of getting pocket money - as opposed to us buying everything for them - is that they get to understand the value of money, and that it is by it's very nature 'finite' each week or month. To learn the old "when it's gone, it's gone" expression, and to learn that somethimes things crop up unexpectedly and you can take advantage / join in if you've put a bit away each week and still have money left at the end of the week/month.

nappyaddict Wed 07-Oct-09 02:05:59

£10 a week is easily spent once they start secondary school and start going out with their friends on their own. When I used to go out to the cinema on a Saturday I spent £3.30 on the bus, £1 on a sandwich and £5.10 on cinema ticket. Orange Wednesday is good but not everyone is on Orange so it wouldn't make a difference. If we just wondered around the shops I knew I could afford a drink in Starbucks after like everyone else. I knew if we went to the cinema then I couldn't.

ScaryFucker Wed 07-Oct-09 07:08:38

yep, a tenner is easily spent

cinema ticket, plus MaccyD's, plus sweets for the film, plus a mag and busfare = all gone

cory Wed 07-Oct-09 08:17:28

We give our nearly-13yo £11`a month. This has to pay for sweets, non-essential clothes, any eating out, DVDs, CDs, books and gifts other than what she gets for her birthdays and name days (3 name days/year=small paperback or similar). I will pay for a bus ticket into town a couple of times a month. Mobile phone only used in emergencies, otherwise she will have to pay for top-ups.

She usually spends it on films and books.

To be frank, dh and I can't afford regular cinema visits and eating out for ourselves, so dd just has to accept that this isn't something this family runs to. Going to uni and having to live on a student loan is going to be difficult for her if she has already acquired expensive habits. I remember having had a great advantage over my fellow students because I was used to handle money (monthly allowance) but I was not used to having lots of money to spend on luxuries. Most of my friends had had Saturday jobs in Sixth form and spent all the money on having fun: suddenly trying to live on a small student loan was very difficult for them.

Fortunately, not all dd's friends' families are rich either, so there is not too much competition.

colditz Wed 07-Oct-09 08:32:23

I used to get £40 a month, in exchange for a lot of babysitting and some chores. this was 1995 though

thepumpkineater Wed 07-Oct-09 09:03:53

We started giving DS2 (13) a monthly allowance, 30 pounds I think, at his request to pay for everything like cinema, phone, clothes etc, but then we kept forgetting and he didn't really need that much.

So now we pay 10 pounds a month for his phone, which gives him some kind of deal where he gets 'free' texts. The rest of the time we just pay if he goes to the cinema with friends. However he hasn't reached the stage yet where he needs lots of money of his own. He doesn't really go out as such, just to friends houses for sleepovers or whatever, no money needed as far as I can see.

Doesn't need to do chores to earn his money either. I just expect him help me with things if I ask him

LadyFoof Wed 07-Oct-09 09:16:02

Can I just ask, those of you who give pocket money - can't kids get part-time jobs at 13? I only ask because we've told DD (nearly 12) that when she reaches 13, the pocket money stops because she'll be old enough to start earning some money for herself. She seems OK with this, in fact she's already planning what she'll do and how she'll fit it in around school!

PlumpkinScaryBaps Wed 07-Oct-09 09:20:11

DS1 (13) gets £15 a month into his account from DH, £7.50 a month from me (cash). We also pay £25 a month for his contract phone.

I think he gets extra from his father/granny when he sees them, which hasn't been for over 2 months atm.

He is supposed to replace any lost items such as pens/locker keys/front door keys/school stuff and buy his own sweets etc. But he isn't interested in clothes and anyway we wouldn't expect him to buy those out of his pocket money. He usually buys things like new games or name changes (or something) on the xbox.

He is expected to do some chores but this isn't linked to pocket money.

PlumpkinScaryBaps Wed 07-Oct-09 09:26:37

LadyFoof- I don't know about 13, but we've told ds that if he wants more money from his 14th birthday in Feb then he can get a little job. I'm not sure what there is apart from newspaper rounds though.

thepumpkineater Wed 07-Oct-09 09:35:25

Jobs for 13 year olds are almost non-existent, I would think. Health and safety and all that......

PixiNanny Wed 07-Oct-09 09:37:56

Wow, you're all fairer than my parents! Once we hit 16 we HAD to get ourselves a job as our pocket money ended! I was getting £5-10 a week, depending on if I was meeting my friend's 'up town', where the train fare was £5 in itself (we had no other option as we went to school 'up town' and friends lived there, unlike us!) My Mum would occasionally give me extra, but I earnt a bit through babysitting as well. My little sister (two years below me at school, 15 months between us) got the better end of the deal (and I got a better deal then my older sister grin)

Now my parents lend all three of us money if we need it but we usually have to pay them back promptly!

My host parents are terrible with their kids pocket money. The youngest ones pocket money is often forgotten about, and the oldest one is constantly getting new things, even though he got a years worth of pocket money to budget himself (on his request) earlier this year. He does no chores around the house what-so-ever. Oh he'll learn one day (I hope!)

PixiNanny Wed 07-Oct-09 09:39:43

Paper rounds aren't supposed to be given to under 14's anymore if I remember rightly?

LadyFoof Wed 07-Oct-09 09:40:35

Why's that? They're desperate for paper boys/girls round here!

itsbeingsofearful Wed 07-Oct-09 09:42:37

My DD2 is 13 and Y8. She gets money for chores, hoovering, ironing and for helping out with DS - walking him to football etc. She only gets what she earns, so will do more if wants more. But it doesn't often add up to more than £15 a month.

But on top of that we do top up her phone at £20 a month and buy essential clothes and toiletries.

malovitt Wed 07-Oct-09 09:45:35

My 13yr old gets £50 per month.

I buy all his clothes and footwear, his money is for snacks, drinks, cinema, cds and xbox games.

I pay it into his bank account and he usually saves most of it.
As it's his money, he seems to think long and hard before any purchase, which is good.

PixiNanny Wed 07-Oct-09 09:59:16

I think it's something to d with the legalities of children working. I used to work in a newsagents that belonged to a family friend and from what I remember, he's always refused to take on under 14's as it was too complicated. I think under 14's can do the once a week type rounds, but not every morning ones. Me and my litle sister shared a once a week round when we were about 13/14ish but it was in my name and I was 14 (I think...)

cory Wed 07-Oct-09 12:32:18

Dd won't be able to have a weekend job because of chronic health problem; she struggles with her school attendance as it is. For the same reason I can't make pocket money dependent on chores: would be very unfair when she has a flare-up, and might result in comptetitive disability between her and her brother if I tried to work out a way of compensating. Will just grab whoever looks reasonably fit when I want something done.

nappyaddict Wed 07-Oct-09 12:39:35

Oh yes I also had £15 top up a month so £55 a month really. blush No one else seems to give their child this much. I always seemed to get less than my friends aswell when I was at school.

mondaymonday Wed 07-Oct-09 12:41:39

cat64 - agree it's a good thing to learn about budgetting, but on the other end of the scale, we all know people who grow up to be right old meanies too. I think there's a balance to be reached

Surfermum Wed 07-Oct-09 12:43:11

I'm always saying to dsd that she doesn't know how lucky she is having so much money each month. Even £80 doesn't seem to be enough for her, and then I'm left feeling like the wicked stepmother if I say no to her requests for more money for something, or for more phone credit.

This thread has reassured me that I'm not being unreasonable.

mollyroger Wed 07-Oct-09 12:50:53

my ds is 12 at xmas. We had an agreement (which i have had to renege on due to poverty ) that for secondary school he would get £5 a week to cover phone card, all 'fashion' clothes, and whatever.
We pay £10 for school bus fares and school snacks, and school stuff and 'basic' knicks, socks, coat shoes.

mumblechum Wed 07-Oct-09 16:08:35

£70 a month, v. minimal chores. He gets through that quite easily, cinema & popcorn £10, going for a burger or pizza with a drink the best part of another £10. Doesn't pay for any fares, taxis, clothes or anything. Am thinking he's maybe getting a bit too much, certainly isn't interested in getting a Saturday job hmm

He's yr 10.

NancyBotwin Wed 07-Oct-09 16:43:34

Luckily dd doesn't go to the cinema or meals with friends that often - maybe at the end of term they'll do something after school, the odd time during school holidays. I'm sure it will change as she gets older though!

nappyaddict Wed 07-Oct-09 17:03:33

mumblechum I wouldn't give him less but I would tell him fares have to come out of it unless they are for getting to and from school things. Ditto for clothes that he doesn't need. Does he pay for phone top up out of it?

ScaryFucker Wed 07-Oct-09 17:29:06

mumble, I do think that is too much, especially if he doesn't help around the house

what are you teaching him here ? That money grows on trees and requires no effort from him to keep it coming ?

mumblechum Wed 07-Oct-09 17:39:20

SF, you're probably right. He has a v. expensive hobby too (rowing).

Thing is his friends are all from seriously loaded families and if anything he gets q. a lot less than most shock.

They all go shopping at Holister, Jack Wills etc most weekends. Luckily ds not partic. int4rested in clothes so doesn't cost much that way. I think I will give him a few more chores. He does bring the coal & logs in daily without being reminded but that's it.

ScaryFucker Wed 07-Oct-09 17:59:16

tis up to you mumble, of course you give what you can afford

but I really think it gives the wrong message that teens do not contribute to the household, tbh, whether money changes hands or not

janeite Wed 07-Oct-09 18:48:15

My girls have always helped out and always been expected to, long before we started giving allowances. I totally agree that children should contribute to the household because they are part of it, not because they are paid for it.

Re: part time jobs: tbh even if they could work, I don't want them to: they work extremely hard at school and dd1 especially gets a lot of homework which she spends a great deal of time and effort on (3 hours on Art last night for example). I can afford at this time to give them an allowance so would rather carry on doing this until their GCSEs at least are completed.

optimisticmumma Wed 07-Oct-09 19:46:08

DS1 17 - £50 a month . Plays rugby Sat and Sun is in 6th form and really has no time for job. HOWEVER he did earn around £300 in the summer babysitting/waitering/ decorating etc etc.
DD 14 -£20 - IMO girls spend more don't really know why. She has to budget and does so v.well. Has started little babysitting jobs.
DS2 12 (year 8)£16 a month. Doesn't spend anything as doesn't have much of a social life yet!!Funded the family takeaway last week as he had the most mopney!!!

I am pretty sure we pay the going rate round here. We give our DC money because they need some independence and need to learn to budget and I'm sorry but you cannot really budget on £1.30 a week IMO. I expect my DC to help around the house every day whether they are doing exams or not, tired or not, weekend or not just as DH and I have to. I don't pay them for any jobs but I expect them to do extra is I ask them to.

I also think it's a real pitfall when children/teens can afford to have what they want . Some of them are going to need £100K plus salaries in future to fund their acquired expensive tastes...

<Om puts down megaphone and steps down of soapbox - sorry all....>

optimisticmumma Wed 07-Oct-09 19:49:15

Excuse spelling mistakesblush.
Meant to add that the easiest thing to do we have found is a standing order into a cash card account then the DC have to get it out of the bank and think ahead. Also works should they ever get stuck somewhere...

inthesticks Wed 07-Oct-09 20:34:16

DS is 13 and I've just increased his pm to £15 per month. It was £1.00 a week but I gave him cash for extras. He started going out a little bit independantly so his new pm has to cover cinema tickets etc.
I'm with Seeker on the jobs front though. I think that paying children to share the chores is on a par with thanking DH when he's "done the hoovering for you".
DS1 would love a job, but we don't even have a newsagent within 5 miles so no paper rounds here.
DS2 has a nice line in cat feeding when the neighbours are away though.

janeite Wed 07-Oct-09 21:07:16

OM - no, I totally agree with you re: helping in the house - H/W or not, exams or not - I was talking about working outside the home.

Please can you tell me more about the cashcard thing as we just give the dds cash at the mo.

optimisticmumma Wed 07-Oct-09 21:23:39

Janeite - their accounts are with Halifax. Can't remember the name of the account (Save 4 it or something??). It can be opened from 11 and has a debit card with it. Minimal interest obviously... I do think that it is a good idea that DC learn about pin numbers/looking after cards/checking balances from a young age so it becomes the norm. I make sure they file statements and read them too!
I diito your working outside the home stance.However I challenged my DS to work to fund his party summer after GCSEs including going to a festival etc and he really impressed me with wanting to do it and actually seeking out work. It's amazing how many people will pay a teenager to paint a utility room!!! He isn't working now as he's doing 5 ASs and only has 5 free periods in two weeks so really no time. Not like our day eh?

janeite Wed 07-Oct-09 21:25:11

Thanks ever so....sounds good.

cat64 Wed 07-Oct-09 22:25:07

Well, optimisticmumma - it works here. As I said before, I'd actually be quite happy to give him more if he wanted to sit and talk about it, but he doesn't put himself in situations where he needs to be spending loads of dosh. He's very involved in different activities (often away on camp for the weekend, for example, where there are no spending opportunities) and out 2 nights each week, etc. He was a "if there's money in my pocket I need to spend it" kind of a boy, but now is beginning to learn sometimes you get things you actually want more, if you save up for a bit first.
Same with all of mine really - they ask me to get them a bag of sweets when I go to the supermarket or Home Bargains or whatever, as they know it's o much cheaper than going down the road to the corner shop. They know not to buy a book new at the Book Fair as a) we live pretty close to a library, which can get them any book they've ever asked for, and b) you can get at least 10 books in the Charity Shop near us for the price of one new one. They know that most of the charity shops around here sell videos '4 for £1' so they can watch a film that's just as funny / exciting / interesting / whatever for 25p, rather than apaying £4.25 at the cinema.
Someone else said how easy it is to spend £10 - well, I suppose it is if you have that kind of budget, and are always going to have that kind of budget, but dh and I don't have the money to buy a coffee at starbucks, and I'd never dream of paying for popcorm or sweets when at the cinema, when I know I could take them with me for a fraction of the price, so I wouldn't consider I was doing my dcs any favours by finding the £10 to give them.
Please don't get me wrong, if you've got the kind of money that can sustain that kind of spending for all your children for years to come, that's great - I have no problem with other children getting large wads of money, I was just saying to OP that not everyone gets the kinds of quantities that were mentioned in the first couple of replies smile

optimisticmumma Thu 08-Oct-09 08:58:42

Fair enough cat64 smile

I do get your point - we all have to do what is reasonable within our budget. I do also think it depends where you live and what opportunities there are for the DC to spend money. Also, as you say it depends on the individual child's attitude to spending...
Don't get me wrong - I am totally against DC getting massive amounts of money but, for me, it's always about finding a balance.

I also would never buy anything consumable at a cinema but if the DC want to use their money to do so that's up to them. After a couple of times they soon understood the joys of LIDL. grin

What I can't stand is grasping, greedy children who have no idea what things cost etc etc because their parents pay for everything ie they don't get pocket money but get anything they ask for iyswim!! To understand the value of money DC have to have some to make decisions about it but it can come with birthdays/Christmas etc etc

seeker Thu 08-Oct-09 11:26:34

"can't kids get part-time jobs at 13? I only ask because we've told DD (nearly 12) that when she reaches 13, the pocket money stops because she'll be old enough to start earning some money for herself."

I can understand this if money is really really tight - but if it isn't, this strikes me as being a bit sad. Apart from anything else, how on earth would she fit in a job around homework and hobbies and things? There wouldn't be any family time left at all.

My dd earns a little money by helping out at the stables sometimes, but I consider that an "extra" - I wouldn't dock her pocket money!

cat64 Thu 08-Oct-09 13:34:43

I agree Seeker, I also think it is a bit of a "dis-incentive" to go out and get work. Why bother if you're not going to be better off ? Bit like the problems with some people on some benefits getting themselves part time jobs - every £ earned getting docked from benefits means that there is no point for those who'd like to. Same principle really, if you stop pocket money because they have found a job, then are they better off than their brother or sister who doesn't get a job ?
I think the only thing you can do at 13 is some paper rounds, and I think there's a limit on this (I only know this as Summer born ds's friend's Mum - who runs a paper shop) was asking him last Winter if he was 13 yet wink

optimisticmumma Thu 08-Oct-09 13:39:54

I totally agree, Seeker. [SMILE]

optimisticmumma Thu 08-Oct-09 13:40:31


Having virtually no pocket money was the reason I went shop lifting as a child. Each time it was for a birthday present. I did it three times (for Grandma, little sister and a friend) and I can still remember vividly the things I took, and how frightened and miserable I was. I regret it even yet.
That is why is has always given me enormous pleasure to give the dcs a reasonable amount of pocket money to spend at their discretion, regardless of what they have done to help (they do help anyway). I know I am lucky to be able to do this, but I would go without a lot before I didn't. I think it is very important for lots of reasons, not least self respect.

My parents always said we could have money if we asked, but we never asked because we assumed we were very, very poor.

LadyFoof Thu 08-Oct-09 16:07:24

Well money is really really tight, and she's looking forward to doing it - she'll almost definitely earn more than we can afford to pay her. FWIW I'm really proud of her because she's being really enterprising, she's told me that the more experience she gets before she really has to go out to work the better.

It's how me and DH were brought up too, ok it was the 70's/80's but are things really a lot different? We fitted in homework and a social life, we learned to get up of our backsides and work for what we wanted. I don't know if it's related but we've never been unemployed (apart from voluntarily with the DC's!) and DH has avoided redundancy multiple times.

Or maybe our parents were evil! grin

LadyFoof Thu 08-Oct-09 16:07:56

sorry OFF our backsides!

cory Thu 08-Oct-09 16:51:16

tbh I am not necessarily sure a weekend job is always such a boon
it depends on what the child want to do after school
when I was at school, all my friends had weekend jobs, with the result that they
a)had little time to do extra reading outside of their homework
b)became used to always having money in their pocket

I had had some health problems, so my parents were not keen for me to work.
When we went to uni, I found myself at a definite advantage because:

a) the reading and other activities I had spent my time on were a better preparation for university studies than shelf-stacking, so I found the academic work much easier

b) I was used to spending very little money; my friends who had had lots of extra money since the age of 14 found it virtually impossible to keep within a student loan budget or to get enough time to study and work as much as they needed to maintain their lifestyle. I though I was rich!grin

seeker Thu 08-Oct-09 17:16:42

I don't normally say things like this (I'm a believer in independence and letting them get on with it) - but I don"t think I want my 13 year old "getting off her backside and working for what she wanted". She's 13 - she's got years to go out doing boring stuff to earn money!

janeite Thu 08-Oct-09 17:33:15

I agree with Seeker.

ScaryFucker Thu 08-Oct-09 17:53:01

I wouldn't want my 13 yo to get a job outside the home. She is still my ikkle girl, albeit a hoovering, dusting, cleaning one !

Too young, IMO

Plenty of time for that when she is 15/16

inthesticks Thu 08-Oct-09 17:53:14

While I think 13 is too young to have much of a part time job I think some experience of real life is essential.
I have done recruitment of graduates and found those who had never had any work experience at all were at a disadvantage. Those who had done part time jobs in shops , restaurants and so on, could draw on that experience for their CV or interview.

mumeeee Thu 08-Oct-09 19:07:41

Surfermum youtr stepdaughter is getting a rather large amount. DD3 17 gets £30 a month. We pay all college expenses,including any equipment ( she's doing DOE this year so needs waterproofs.flece etc) she might need,fees for her drama clubs,and towards youth club trips. I also pay for basic toiltries and her sanitory products.
She has to pay for everything else incuding mobile top up although I do sometimes pay towards this.
She has to take turns in cleaning the bathroom and do other chores whan asked. She can earn extra money by ironing (it's a job I hate)I pay her 25p per item. She also gets extra money when MIL comes to visit. She also has to try and get a part time job ,which she is doing.

mumeeee Thu 08-Oct-09 19:11:49

Seekr. You can't get a Paper round until your are 14 now ( it is actaully illegal ) and most other jobs won't take under 16's. There is a lot of restrictions on 14 to 16 year olds working hours.

janeite Thu 08-Oct-09 19:17:17

Dd1 gets 20p per item for ironing!

nappyaddict Thu 08-Oct-09 21:26:10

Most 14 year olds I know make extra money by doing ironing, cleaning, gardening, car washing, babysitting for their families, family friends and neighbours. Paper rounds seem few and far between. A couple work in the corner shop or the hairdressers washing and sweeping up but again not many.

AmyLC Fri 09-Oct-09 13:11:51

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IloveJudgeJudy Thu 15-Oct-09 15:47:12

Yes, you can get a paper round here (Kent) from when you're 13, but you're not allowed to start before 7 am. The form from the paper shop does get sent to the school so that they know that the child has a round. My son (15) has had a 7-day paper round for 1 1/2 years. He started asking at the paper shop as soon as he hit 13.
It took him 6 months to get one. It's been hard work for him as that means no lie-ins, but he does like the money. He has now become a football referee and gets paid for that so his sister (12, nearly 13) does the Sunday round for him. She gets £3.00 for that. He wants to give up after Christmas and we're hoping that she will just be able to take it over as she will be 13 then.
It's been a great life and budgeting lesson for them both. It has taught my son that he has to go to bed at a reasonable time or he won't want to get up the next day for his round. He does have to get up for it as the shop really depends on him. He also knows that there are lots of people who would like his round so he does have to dependable. He has saved up and bought himself loads of stuff such as an X-Box, a state of the art phone, I-Pod Touch, etc and because he has paid for it himself, he takes extra special care of it. I am very proud of him (as I am of my other children).
We don't pay for chores, the children just have to do them.
We can't afford pocket money, but pay for everything they need until they're 13. If they want any particular clothing item after that, then they have to pay or I might pay half. we still pay for all toiletries, school uniform and basic clothing. Every now and then as a treat I will top up their phones, but not regularly. We just can't afford it.

cat64 Thu 22-Oct-09 19:55:05

I asked ds again tonight if he needs any more money / if there are times when he's out with his mates and they have things he can't get as he hasn't the money / if he wants us to 'up' his pocket money, and his answer was "no - I don't spend all I've got, and anyway, you pay for all the camps I go on" so - teenagers can survive on a pittance if they learn to do things that don't involve spending loads, which, in itself is a good lesson.
I agree with IloveJudgeJudy about the paper rounds too - 2 of his friends have paper rounds at 13.

JohnL Wed 09-Dec-09 21:40:34

I have a 15 year old dd and just had huge upset over money. Normally give her £10 per week plus pay for top ups, clothes, drama group and trampoline sessions. Problem is friends birthday and Christmas presents. Older sisters (students) have asked her to contribute to joint christmas present for me and she is in tears as she has no money. What do I do? what is reasonable for 15 year old? (she can get a job at 16) but for now nothing going. feeling a complete failure at the moment as i'm letting her down - any answers?????

cory Thu 10-Dec-09 08:19:58

My parents used to slip us a bit of extra money for Christmas presents: I think you can do that without totally undermining your general rules on allowances.

JohnL £10 plus all those extras sounds more than reasonable to me already. (More than my dcs get). I suggest what she needs is a loan to see her through Christmas and to learn to budget a bit better afterwards.

risingstar Sat 12-Dec-09 07:08:09

dd1 is 14, we give her £35 pm into a bank account, £10 a month into a savings account attached to her bank account.

this has proved a good move. she hasnt touched it for 18 months and now has £180. I always suggested that she doesnt spend this on day to day but uses it as a back up, so if she loses her phone/breaks a computer game etc she has the money to replace it.

Funnily enough, she hasnt lost her phone in all that time and has now decided to splash some of her savings on a nice new posh one ( the other one is worn out!).

however, she babysits for us for little sister every now and again and has the full expectation that at 16 after gcses will be spending saturdays sitting on a till!!!!

her room is a tip though......

seeker Sat 12-Dec-09 07:27:29

dd gets £20 a month paid into her bank account. That is her money to do what she wants with - I buy essential clothes, lunches and fares. Her phone is on a contract with 500 texts a month - she's never quite used that up!

She also works at the stables on Saturday mornings and Monday evenings, where she gets paid £3.50 an hour.

I feel very strongly (hobby horse of mine - most people disagree!) that pocket money shouldn't be linked to chores. Everyone needs a bit of money to get by - dd's main job in school and having fun and growing up - I give her some money to help her do that.

HOWEVER-and this is a big however - I also strongly believe that if you live in a community you contribute to it. So my children probably do more jobs at home than many. But they do them because we all live her and we all contribute to making things run smoothly (ish). It's not linked to their pocket money.

Jdjdneksj827372 Thu 28-Aug-14 17:31:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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