Unsupervised post-GCSE hols for 16-year-olds...

(87 Posts)
LaineyW Mon 09-Feb-09 19:49:02

My DD1 (16) want to go away for a few days with a group of friends after finishing GCSEs in the summer. There would be three girls and three boys, all 16.

Is there anywhere that would take them? So far they've investigated Haven holidays (have to be 21) and Youth Hostels (have to be accompanied by a parent).

Any ideas?

BonsoirAnna Mon 09-Feb-09 19:50:14

They would have to go to a borrowed holiday house or flat, I would think. Do any of the parents of these teenagers have a holiday home to lend them?

NOOOOO!!!!!

compo Mon 09-Feb-09 19:52:12

16 is too young
after a levels, yes, after gcse's no
you could rent a cottage next door though, or go on a haven holiday so they can all hang out together but you would be there too

I was thinking about this the other day - me & my mates went to the Isle of Wight on our own post GCSEs - stayed in youth hostels. We were very, very well behaved, but in retrospect, I am rather impressed our parents were trusting enoughto let us toddle off on our own.

LaineyW Mon 09-Feb-09 19:55:54

That did cross my mind compo, but... no thanks. I'd be on pins!

We do have friends with a beautiful holiday home in Southwold, but it could siren the end of a long and wonderful friendship with them if anything went wrong.

Do camp sites take teens? She's a seasoned camper.

Mind you, the thought of packing all the kit and food... <groan>

Oovavu Mon 09-Feb-09 19:57:21

I had one of these after my O levels.

It was shagedelic and drug-tastic.

(Sorry but it was! But there again, I was an absolute shocker as a teenager. I woud hope yours would be nicer than I was blush)

pagwatch Mon 09-Feb-09 19:58:22

can I also say...

16 year olds " can we borrow your holiday home for an unsupervised holiday"

owners "er. No. NoNoNoNo !!!! "

<<pag has already had this converstaion>>

sarah293 Mon 09-Feb-09 20:00:24

I said no to my teen who wanted to do the same thing. 6 teenage boys alone. Not a chance!
Most campsites/holiday homes would not take a gaggle of under-18's.
I can think of one campsite that would though. Up in the Peak District. But its very basic.

Quattrocento Mon 09-Feb-09 20:02:47

Gosh. I was terribly naughty when I was 16. Are you sure about this?

Oovavu Mon 09-Feb-09 20:02:57

I teach 16 year olds actually and even the lovely ones I would not feel Ok about them being unsupervised all weekend... think it might all get a bit experimental when they are let loose for the first time. Much better to all go for a pizza then back to someone's house for mini-party with adults in different part of the house I reckon. But is that a bit Famous Five?

BonsoirAnna Mon 09-Feb-09 20:05:13

Of course you have to be prepared for them to have sex... drugs are another story - do they do drugs to your knowledge?

DS1 and a group of friends went to the Reading festival the summer after GCSEs. They had a fantastic time, no one got pregnant, no one died of a drug overdose or alcohol poisoning.

Oovavu Mon 09-Feb-09 20:28:40

<sigh> Kids today are much more sensible than I ever was

I went off on a cycling holiday with my friends when I was 16. I wouldn't have a problem with DD1 doing the same. Well I say that now of course, ask me again in four years' time. But really I thought it was normal for 16 year olds to be allowed to go off with their friends for a few days.
What about camping?

mumeeee Mon 09-Feb-09 21:45:18

No. 16 is to young to go away unsupervised.

Is it really? I think it depends on the individuals concerned. I know plenty of sixteen year olds that I would trust to behave sensibly - and a few I wouldn't.

ravenAK Mon 09-Feb-09 22:03:01

How do you 'not allow' them to go on holiday? Given they're legally old enough to leave home?

I mean, I do see you could say no &/or refuse to help organise or finance, but I'm not sure they could actually be stopped if they sort it themselves!

I don't think I'd be asking
friends to lend their holiday place, tbh, for all the obvious reasons!

Could they go to Leeds/Reading Festival or something? Lots of unaccompanied teens there.

Moondancer Mon 09-Feb-09 22:11:20

Lainey - who told you that 16 year olds have to be accompanied by a parent at youth hostels? They can go unsupervised at 16; in fact my dd went with a friend at 14 (just before they changed the age to 16).

higgle Mon 09-Feb-09 22:29:05

Tge Camping and Caravan club have a youth section - might be worht asking them if they allow groups of this age.

ajandjjmum Tue 10-Feb-09 10:48:39

Ds and six others (boys and girls) went away after GCSEs to one of the girl's holiday home in Wales. They went on the train, had to walk to get their shopping, sort out cooking, food, cleaning etc. There were no 'relationship' involved in the group - that was a condition of DS going - and I do think he was honest with me. They had a fabulous time, came back appreciating home more, and caused no damage.

We were lucky - but because they were trusted, they responded well.

BlameItOnTheBogey Tue 10-Feb-09 10:50:05

At this age, I went to somewhere in Newquay called, I think, sunnyside? Sunny something. 'Twas a campsite full of people in the same situation. We had a blast.

lazymumofteenagesons Tue 10-Feb-09 12:32:06

I've posted on a similar thread before. It all depends on the kids.
DS1 went to Reading festival at 15 (end of year 10) - everything fine. After GCSEs he went with a big group to Newquay - some camped, some rented caravans, some were in B&Bs. DS1 stayed here. It takes 16+, in rooms of about 6 with kitchenette, not supervised, but strict re. no guests. We did lose our deposit cos they left it in a state, so I definitely would not lend a holiday home.
He also went to Benicasim music festival in Spain post GCSE. It makes them more independent, they are 16 not 10. They can get in trouble a mile from home.

whenigrowupiwanttobe Tue 10-Feb-09 12:37:18

I really don't think 16 is too young to go away unsupervised, I actually think it should be encouraged! When dh finished his GCSE's he spent a couple of months backpacking around Great Britain staying at youth hostels and fruit picking.

A couple of my friends went to Brighton and got jobs as waitresses.

LaineyW Tue 10-Feb-09 21:41:09

Moondancer, the YHA website states "Children aged 5-16 can only stay when accompanied by a parent, guardian or as part of an organised group and when staying in shared accommodation the parent or guardian must be of the same sex."

We have managed to find a caravan park which takes teen groups, as long as a responsible adult makes the actual booking. They also take a £150 breakages deposit, which is fair enough. The problem is, it's in Dorset which is just too far away if anything should go wrong (we live in Cambridgeshire).

Will keep trying...

Thanks for all your comments, it seems there are widely differing opinions on this and it largely depends on the teenagers involved.

Claire2301 Tue 10-Feb-09 21:45:47

Think it very much depends on the child. After my GCSE's (6years ago) myself and two female friends went to Great Yarmounth for three days! We stayed in a B&B, the owner requested to speak to and receive a letter from our parents beforehand. Went smoothly and the worst we got up to was bingo in the evening!!

LaineyW Tue 10-Feb-09 22:32:44

Bless! If she were going just with a couple of girlfriends that would be perfect, but the boys are a different matter. One of them has Prodigy-style spiky hair and a lip piercing... can't imagine him playing bingo.

Moondancer Tue 10-Feb-09 23:47:20

Lainey can you please tell me which part of the YHA website you have taken that from because it is not correct. Children can go unaccompanied from their 16th birthday. It used to be 14 but has recently changed to 16.

shabster Wed 11-Feb-09 00:01:42

We are going to Faliraki, Rhodes in July and would be glad to have them tag along!!!!! grin That way we might even be given a free club pass to Q club or Bedrock whilst we wander down Bar Street. This is a difficult one. My lastborn DS4 is almost 12 and I am dreading the day he says 'Is it ok if.......'

Not sure what to suggest but will try to 'pick up tips' for 2013 when I will, no doubt, be in the same position.

RiaParkinson Wed 11-Feb-09 00:04:40

we let ds go camping last year

he is an angel but tbh after gcse's i am quite chilled

i just warn him about hangovers and say 'you are old enough to make choices'

ds is last week in august too so a baby

i am a fierce bint pre 16 - post 16 i chill grin

Tortington Wed 11-Feb-09 00:07:07

lord - i would never allow this.

RiaParkinson Wed 11-Feb-09 17:21:33

i am under no illusion that dd will be allowed the same Custy

Nor ds2 the way he is going!

DS1 is trustworthy

optimisticmumma Wed 11-Feb-09 19:09:20

am in same situation but am working on the 'if i don't help organise it, it will all go away' plan. In my experience 16 year olds (boys in particular) can't organise a **up ina brewery!grin

RiaParkinson Wed 11-Feb-09 21:12:35

my son went 'camping' with four other boys

they went to the lakes in the most piss poor pissing down rain for a week

on the morning he was going he went to buy some 'food' which was basically 'crap' and he was leaving without any coat and virtually the clothes he stood up in - i had a four week old so was less than attentive but shrieked 'no coat - go to yeomans on the way'

suffice to say - walking holiday in only a pair of converse , no food - lord knows what to drink - i felt quite relaxed and happy he had done it!

he loved it!

LaineyW Wed 11-Feb-09 22:37:38

Moondancer, it has come up on almost every hostel I have checked with online. When I put in the details of their group (ie. I go to the Under-18s bit and put in three girls and three boys. The following paragraph comes up:

Prices are for YHA and Hostelling International members. Non-members pay a supplement of GBP 3.00 per night (Adult) and GBP 1.50 (Under 18) on arrival (equivalent to a daily membership). Families with children under the age of 5 will need to book a private room. Children aged 5-16 can only stay when accompanied by a parent, guardian or as part of an organised group and when staying in shared accommodation the parent or guardian must be of the same sex. To join YHA (England and Wales) please visit our membership pages.

Any date or number highlighted in red may differ from your entry.

ruddynorah Wed 11-Feb-09 22:44:44

they could go to one of the music festivals if they're keen campers. some of them are over 2 or 3 nights. i did that at 16 after GCSEs, and only just 16 at that, with a summer birthday.

the following summer, between lower 6th form and upper..so only just turned 17..me and my schoolfriends went to ibiza for a week.

we were fine, am very glad to have had very open minded parents who trusted me to do this.

also had fab times camping on duke of edinburgh award expeditions...through a magic mushroom haze..

Ewe Wed 11-Feb-09 22:52:38

I went to Malia when I was sixteen (some of my friends were 17) via a holiday company - Thomas Cook I think? Had to get written supervision from my parents though, had an amazing time!

RiaParkinson Thu 12-Feb-09 00:18:40

ruddynorah i'm telling the Duke of you wink

shabster Thu 12-Feb-09 08:43:52

grin Ria and RuddyNorah (love that name - it reminds me of my Grandads WORSE swear word)

ruddynorah Thu 12-Feb-09 12:01:29

yes when we went to ibiza all our parents had to write letters to the travel agent saying it was ok we could go.

Moondancer Thu 12-Feb-09 15:10:32

LaineyW Thank you for bringing the YHA website age thing up in this thread. It is wrong and has been brought to the attention of the YHA.

Moondancer Thu 12-Feb-09 15:12:42

I believe it should say 'children aged 5-15'.

LaineyW Thu 12-Feb-09 16:42:19

Thanks Moondancer, I've just had an e-mail back from them to say that yes, they will take bookings of 16-year-olds, (which as you quite rightly say, is their minimum age) although we would have to contact our chosen hostel direct as the kids would need a private room/dorm.

Soooo, that looks like a definite possibility. A youth hostel sounds so much safer than a Haven Holidays caravan... or am I just living in denial?

Moondancer Thu 12-Feb-09 23:44:50

Lainey - let them go - they will love it! Its very safe, males and females will have seperate rooms and there are staff available if there are any problems. My dd says its one of the best things Ive let her do!

roseypose Wed 01-Apr-09 19:08:26

Some youth hostels can be a bit manky but if they're looking for one in a city, the thameside one in London is lovely, as is the Oxford YHA. Both very clean and shiny relative to others I've been in!

sarah293 Wed 01-Apr-09 19:14:35

YHA sound like a good idea. Least there will be an adult on tap if something awful happens.

piscesmoon Wed 01-Apr-09 19:23:45

I would say that the YHA idea is a good one. My DS went to Cornwall camping after his GCSE's, there were 4 of them, it was carefully researched first and they had a great time. It was a good experience for them to have. My DS is sensible and I liked his friends.

motheroftwoboys Thu 02-Apr-09 20:31:17

Just like to add my vote to letting them go. Our DS1 has gone away with friends since he was 16 and they have had a great time. They don't stay at youth hostels but use backpackers hostels and as far as I know there is no age limit. They also go to festivals both here and abroad. Last year they went to festivals in Portugal and had a week in Berlin. This year they are going to Portugal again (Boom?! if I remember) and also to Prague for a week. Not sure if he will have time to come away with us. {grin}

BCNS Thu 02-Apr-09 20:40:08

let him go vote here too

I jollied round europe at just 17..for a couple of months.. it was fab

ds1 is already planning.... i won't stop him

piscesmoon Thu 02-Apr-09 22:03:12

I think that it is highly sensible to let them go somewhere in this country for a few days. In less than 2 years they can buy a ticket to Thailand and go on their own. As long as they have the money, you can't stop them.

piximon Thu 02-Apr-09 22:23:00

I went to Blackpool for a week after my gcses with two sisters, I'd just turned 16 when we went. My parents booked a bed and breakfast for us, (room with a double and single bed) and gave the landlady their number in case of any problems. We had a ball. smile

hazlac Thu 02-Apr-09 22:23:10

My 3 16 yr olds are all going down to Newquay for the week after they've finished their GCSE's, they have booked it all themselves,are going by train, and have paid for it all them selves.They had to do a bit of searching but all managed to find a house that would take groups of 16 yr olds. Each of them are staying in seperate rented houses with their friends.I was very wary of saying yes to them going at first, but then remembered what a ball I had when I went away with friends at 16 and have such wonderful memories wink(why that makes me feel any better I have no idea?)that DH and I agreed that they could go. The damage deposit is extortionate and they have all agreed to no parties in the house's. I know I will worry all the time they are away but I think that will happen for ever and a day so I may as well get used to it now!: )

BeehiveBaby Thu 02-Apr-09 22:29:31

I went to a music festival, was all relatively civilised.

sarah293 Sat 04-Apr-09 08:31:12

What if one of them is 15? ds wants to go on an unsupervised post GCSE thing with his mates. They will all be 16. He's not 16 till end of August. Does this have legal child/minor implications?

SpaceTrain Sat 04-Apr-09 09:02:20

What about inter-railing? My DH did this with a group of friends (male and female)after his O-levels. Had a great time.

sarah293 Sat 04-Apr-09 09:32:52

inter-railing is a bit spendy for post 16 I reckon. Post 18 when they have earned some money would be good! I did interrailing at 18 and there was some situations I think you need to be a bit older. Such as spanish train guards pointing guns at us and demanding 'supplemento' and Roma children in Milan attempting to leg it with a rucksack.

piscesmoon Sat 04-Apr-09 13:33:57

Mine was only 15 when he finished his GCSEs-I just told him not to tell anyone he was only 15!
It would have been most unfair to have played the age card. I have always felt sorry for him. He struggled at school academically but always had to do the same tests as those almost a year older, but for physical things, that he was really good at, he was always held back-for example in the summer holidays he couldn't do somethings before he was 8yrs or 12yrs etc and yet all his friends could.
He was old enough to do the exams, he was old enough to go away-and he was much more mature than a lot of the 16 yr olds anyway.

Nighbynight Sat 04-Apr-09 14:25:53

Hmm. My post O Levels holiday was youth hostelling in Scotland with older sister and cousin.

Is there a handy 18 year old or two who would go with them?
Also, youth hostels vary a lot, between big city ones, and small, remote ones by Scottish lochs.

sarah293 Sun 05-Apr-09 09:46:59

would I get into trouble letting a 15 yo go off with his 16 yo mates without an adult? (I say this as someone who has a children's social worker cos of her disabled child. This SW used to work in Child Protection and is hostile and aggressive and instead of supporting us trys to find wrongness)

piscesmoon Sun 05-Apr-09 16:46:24

I don't know-mine was never asked his age. I am afraid that I would have been absolutely furious with a system that made them take exams at 15 yrs, that most take at 16yrs, and then said that a very small minority were banned from going away because they were too young. He was old enough for the exams, therefore he was old enough for the reward. If he had waited 6 weeks it would have been peak holiday season.

I wouldn't have thought places like YHA would check ID to make sure everyone was 16. I stayed at the YHA when I was 18 and looked a lot younger, was never asked how old I was.

bronze Sun 05-Apr-09 16:54:34

I walked across dartmoor with a mixed group of 8 of us after our GCSEs. I don't think 16 is too young

roisin Sun 05-Apr-09 17:07:45

Maybe I'm in cloud cuckoo land, but I would hate to think I wouldn't be able to trust ds1 to go and do something like this when he's 16.

Round here lots of the yr11s go camping after GCSEs have finished.

We live in a provincial town, so I'm not sure I'd feel entirely comfortable with them going to a city, even staying at a YHA. But somewhere out in the sticks - great fun!

LaineyW Mon 06-Apr-09 20:18:08

Just to update everyone on my DD's situation, one of the girls' mums has put her foot down and said a flat 'no' to this venture... so the whole thing has come to nothing anyway.

Why am I not surprised!!!

missingtheaction Mon 06-Apr-09 20:29:01

she was probably on the camping holiday my mates and I went on after our o levels and doesn't want her daughter to do what we did. And my dd isn't going either. shock

cathyed Tue 30-Jun-09 21:10:22

Hi I had the same dilema and i made my husband make the decision as i was so torn.... he decided that he could go and so is currently staying in a lodge with 10 mates the girls are staying in another one down the road.
I was very concerned about him going but i have to say that he could not wait to go and i think its good for him and in a strange way for me as well, trust has to start somewhere and at least they have each other !!
would be interested to know if they went away in the end
cathy x

brimfull Tue 30-Jun-09 21:31:46

my dd wnet to reading festival last summer after gcse's

she is sensible and I trust her

she had a brilliant time and is going again this yr,is also going to Paris with 6 girlfriends for 3 nights

motheroftwoboys Fri 10-Jul-09 20:53:21

I know this is an "elderly" thread now but our DS1 who is now 18 has gone away for the past couple of summers to Festivals in this country and abroad and also for city breaks. They always stay in backpackers hostels and have an absolute ball!!

mumonthenet Fri 10-Jul-09 21:03:36

don't blame the mum who put her foot down!

I would have suggested that you gently find an alternative....which fits with your idea of supervision.

Trouble with 16 yr olds, is they THINK they can handle everything.

But, sadly for them, they sometimes can't.

Milliways Sat 11-Jul-09 13:45:48

A 16 yr old boy in our town died last week at the Newquay festival

He was not the first this year either!

here

Having said that, different kids can be trusted at different ages. I would prefer they were over 18 before holidaying without adults though.

RustyBear Sat 11-Jul-09 14:08:28

The boy who died was the younger brother of one of DD's friends.sad

DD went to a house in Devon with a group of friends post-GCSE's - no adults in the house, but it belonged to the parents of one of the girls, so she knew people in the village. They seemed to cope quite well - they arrived to find the house with no electricity, but managed to find & fix the fuse.

I think as Milliways says, it's something you need to decide for yourself, depending onthe maturity level of your child.

LaineyW Sun 12-Jul-09 23:09:37

Hello everyone, I originally posted this so thought I'd update you on what finally happened. I was very relieved when DD's friend's mum said no, took the pressure off everyone. We were coming to the same decision only were much more wussy about it!

In the end, DD has said to me she's so glad they didn't end up going. There were lots of ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend relationships within their particular group that by the time they were to have gone away, most of them were then with other people anyway and it would have been very awkward. One boy has also been excluded from school (apart from actually sitting his exams) and seems to be completely at war with the world so I'm not sure how he would have fared away from his parents and any sort of supervision.

Funny how things work out...

mumonthenet Mon 13-Jul-09 18:20:43

thanks lainey for your update...it's always nice to see what happened in the end.

So often these teenagers are actually quite relieved to be stopped from doing something! A difficult path to tread for us.

slowreadingprogress Mon 13-Jul-09 19:25:42

exactly Lainey and mumonthenet. Actualy they are often looking for that boundary - they'll ask because of many reasons - boundary testing, peer pressure - but in fact if they get a 'no' they will often accept it with relief. I think as parents we shouldn't be afraid to say no - otherwise what example are we of how to avoid peer pressure if we feel we must say yes because we don't want to be seen as fussy or precious or overprotective parents?

I think unaccompanied holidays are inappropriate for 16 year olds, they're not adults yet. There are other ways of marking rites of passage such as finishing GCSEs and of giving tastes of independence.

mumeeee Mon 13-Jul-09 20:18:15

I agree with you slowreadingprogress. All 3 of my DD's just had a day out with thier friends. We bought DD1 a guitar and paid for some guitar lessons as that is what she wantes. I took DD2 and 3 to London to see a musical of hier chioce as that is what they wanted. NO way would I have let them have an unsupervised holiday at that age and none of thier friends did that either.

GardenersDelight Tue 14-Jul-09 16:50:50

We've made a compromise with DD1 she and 2 friends are going to T4 on the beach which involves getting the train from Ipswich and across London then onto Weston, but luckily thats where my parents live and so will be staying with them. Will probably mean they will be totally spoilt for the weekendwink

piscesmoon Tue 14-Jul-09 17:22:26

The problem is that if you don't let 16 yr olds have some freedom and go away in a fairly controlled environment they don't build up any experience. My 18yr old DS is abroad at the moment-he is an adult and he has paid- I can't stop him. I am quite pleased that he has gone for a week in the sun and not 6 mths backpacking around the world on his own. We trusted him to go camping after his GCSE's and I am glad that we did-it is a very short hop from 16 yrs to 18yrs. I think that it is a bit dangerous not to let them go anywhere at 16yrs, and 24 months later they can walk out of the door for Thailand!

piscesmoon Tue 14-Jul-09 17:25:22

Luckily he hasn't gone to Thailand-only Europe. A couple of his friends have gone to Peru for 6 months and I would find that scary-the parents involved are anxious but you can't stop adults who are paying their own way.

There are holidays and holidays. I went hostelling at 15 with a group of girls & it was fine. Lots of walking etc. I would say daring enough at that age, away from parents etc.

A festival or Ibiza is a different prospect though. Hostelling/caravan in the UK is more reasonable than taking esctasy & pushing the boundaries with Spanish/Greek lotharios, no?

slowreadingprogress Tue 14-Jul-09 18:27:27

exactly pisces; you can't stop an adult, and you shouldn't; but you can stop a child, which a 16 year old is.

As with so many things in childhood, I don't think you need to 'practice' things; you can be equipping a 16 year old to go on holiday alone without actually letting them go alone, IMHO. Not least by GIVING them that 24 months to mature and learn. It may not be much to us but in terms of development between 16 and 18 I think it is pretty big.

I do agree it's important to equip them - but there is more than one way of doing so. IMHO. I think holidays alone are for adults, not children. No child is going to be damaged by NOT be allowed to go at 16. Perfectly reasonable and acceptable to be going at 18 in my view. And as I've said you're equipping them with life skills in that time between 16 and 18 - you're not stunting their growth!

anonandlikeit Tue 14-Jul-09 18:32:30

My first holiday abroad was after o'levels (long time ago) with two friends.
We were all 16 & got the cheepest last minute deal we could find.
I can't believe our parents let us go but we ahd a fantastic time, got very drunk, laughed loads & ahve soem great meemories.

Let them go, if you think they are reponsible enough & you knwo them best.. get them a tent & sned them off on a train somewhere, they will have fantastic time.

piscesmoon Tue 14-Jul-09 19:49:58

The reason that I love the Scouts is that they let them get these life skills. My DS was on Dartmoor at 15yrs with a tent. They were supervised, but the leaders weren't with them.
DS2 is the one that went away after GCSEs. You do have to weigh the risk. In his case he is very sensible and he only went with a small group of friends. At the start it was 20 and I wasn't happy, as I think that that sort of number leads to bravado. I liked the friends (it went down to 4 of them)and they had planned it with one of the mothers who knew the area. They went to a strictly supervised camp site. It was carefully planned and my brother lives 5 miles away and although he and SIL didn't see DS they were on hand for an emergency.
I think they do need to practise under controlled circumstances. I haven't seen a lot of difference between a 16 yr old and 18 yr old. I would be very unhappy if the very first taste of independence was to get on a plane to Peru-in fact I would be utterly terrified! And you can't stop them-if they have the money.

rockinmum Fri 17-Jul-09 21:56:35

Oh my god! People really do think that all teenagers have 'bad intentions' don't they? lol.

When I was 15 I spent the night in a field with about 30-40 of my friends boys and girls. I only told my mum where we were going at the last minute and who would be there because I thought someone should know in case the woods caught fire or something lol.

All we did was listen to music, talk and have a few beers. No pregnancies came of it! Scouts honour lol

They'll be fine, there must be somewhere that will take them that would be more comfortable than a field

LaraFordy Sat 01-Dec-12 18:06:02

I have no idea where you have got these ideas of what teenage holidays are like from. Unless you know this womans child there is no way you can judge whether they are old or mature enough to go on holiday alone. Not all sixteen year olds are the same. You should make a desision on whether your child should go based on how responsible etc you think she is. Not what others whom haven't even met her beleive. It would be unfair on her, if she has never done anything which would make you not trust her to be okay on her own then by all means let her go! If on the other hand she has then of course be more wary.

If you don't allow your child to grow up and make mistakes then they are never properly growing up. That's what being a teenager's about, making mistakes, messing up and getting into trouble. It is our job as mums to make sure we are there for them when it does happen. By never letting them kae mistakes how can they possibly learn from them?

They all grow up eventually. We have to make sure we let them.

mumblechum1 Sat 01-Dec-12 18:08:55

Do you realise this thread is 3 years old??

As with so many questions, the answer to this one is, depends on the maturity of the teen. DS went to the States with a friend at 15 wild camping in the Rockies with no humans never mind adults for miles around.

At 17 he did Newquay, Ibiza and Reading festival with no ill-effects smile

Jimalfie Sun 02-Dec-12 16:59:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misfits13 Wed 27-Feb-13 01:50:18

Hello! I know this post is old but I only just found it so don't want other people to find it without another view point as it feels a little one sided. it actually made me a little bit angry (Don't worry this isn't a rant just saying my piece hehe)

I'm currently 16 & going away with 2 boys and 2 girls to a holiday let in 2 months. My parents said yes straight out, no persuasion needed because they know they can trust me.

I slightly resent the person who said "She's just testing the boundaries, it's good to say no" type thing. Although of course it depends on your child's maturity level I think if you trust your child you should let them...if you think the area they are visiting is safe of course...The only reason I can find is that you think YOUR CHILD would do something wrong? Surely if you think they your relationship can't be too good?

I realise I'm slightly different because my family worked festivals until I was 8 so I'm used to the independence and we had a gap year travelling where I was out alone quite often when I was 10, but still I feel like perhaps you should have enough faith in your child by the age of 16?

Just my opinion of course...I know lots of 16 year olds that I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw them but...surely your own child? You've gone wrong somewhere if you can't trust them?

smile

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