'SWEARING' in front of 5yo siblings

[ZipadiSoozi]

I am struggling to know how to discipline my 13yo ds who swears in front of his twin siblings.

Nothing seems to work, if I do lay the law down, he swears more, if I ignore he swears less, but, I cannot have him swearing at all in front of 5yo - my ds2 has already repeated something which was awful.

I can sympathise with ds1 when he has good reason to be cross, but I seem to have created a very verbal teenager!

I often think he copies our behaviour, but we never swear in front of the children. I have taught ds1 to go to his room if he is cross, I don't mind him coming to me and we go off somewhere to sort a problem out, but its this constant...... any simple rational instruction like turning his tv off, or coming down for dinner, its simple things that he creates at.

Sorry I know it doesn't seem a big problem, but its zero tolerance of swearing at twins school.

[AMumInScotlandsAMumForAThat]

How about trying a "swear box"? If he has to part with 50p/£1 every time he does it, that might help him to concentrate. It's maybe also worth trying to make sure you and DP don't swear in front of him, so that you are all trying not to swear at all in the house, then it won't seem so much like you're getting at him in particular.

[cory]

We have a swear kitty- the only person who's ever had to put anything in it is Mum... I think it does help to focus everybody's mind and becomes less about one person.

[aGalChangedHerName]

I have a 17.6 year old ds and a 13 year old too. It is hard and my dd's who are 4.6 and 2.6 have said stuff like gayboy and freak and once said shit. I gave ds1 a bollocking and to his credit he doesn't seem to have done it again.

No advice really but the swear box seems like a good idea?

[ZipadiSoozi]

Will try the swear box again, we have tried something like this before, and it made ds worse, got him crosser to give money up, which makes it an unachieveable discipline.

I do have an idea though, and that is to give us all £5 each in change, and after each week who ever has got the most money left gets the money in the swear box.

Maybe ds will realise that he could make money. Although I know he swears 90% more than us. so may have to think a bit more.

[ZipadiSoozi]

Gosh! Gayboy and freak are very mild words, you have excellent teenagers my twins havent really picked up on ds1 swearing yet, they just take great pleasure in thinking that he's a naughty boy. But what ds2 did say was extremely bad, so I want to nip it in the bud.

[Amie123]

I know how you feel,my teenagers swear but saying that my 8 year old does every other word he has a learnign disabilitie and what i do now is ignore it,it does get to me though its not nice to hear.

The school said ignore it as the more you tell them the more thay will do it,hope they grow out of it

[ZipadiSoozi]

My ds1 also has learning disabilities, but I wouldn't excuse his language because of that. Although I'm sure some of his frustration through his difficulties don't help matters, so I should maybe take into condsideration these behaviours, or look ahead and difuse matters before they esculate, but a simple request of "please brush your teeth before school" is not an unreasonable request

Also words he knew and used at 8yo were far milder than the booming broken voice of a teenager boy, and the words are now more unnacceptable for my 5yo twins to hear.

I've told hime I am sending him to 'BRAT CAMP'

[Amie123]

My sons school said ignore it as my reactions were fueling it as such,but i know what5 you mean imagine this then i have a 13,14 and 15 and 18 year old it is extremely difficult as they are all doing this.

Camhs are trying to help but nothing ever gets achieved i think its a phase that will pass(well im hoping it is anyway!)