Teenager and curfews

[anastasia74]

Hi, My d has been going out a lot more often recently both week nights and weekends.

What would be a reasonable time to expect her in during the week, she has to get up the next day for 6th form.

She came home at 12pm last week. Am I being unreasonable I'm considering imposing 11.pm.

Also, what are reasonble consequences for not complying. Any tried and tested theories.

Thanks

[Lilymaid]

Last bus in our area leaves town at 11 and gets back near to 12 so that is usually our curfew. I let DS catch that (if absolutely necessary) on a Friday or Saturday but not during the week. Expect problems though when there are a lot of 18th birthdays. They all want to go out on the day - unsurprisingly the schools aren't keen on the state of their students the next day.

[MissingMyHeels]

How old is your D?

I think 11pm is perfectly reasonable for during the week. Do you give her an allowance? I would stop that if she doesn't comply. If she wants to be out later (for birthdays etc) then it needs to be agreed the day before.

[mellyonion]

hi. i think a lot would depend on whare shes going and what shes doing tbh....if shes just out hanging around then 11pm seems late to me, but if shes at a mates house, just "chillin"! then its ok.....(still quite late on a school night imo....but them i do nod off anytime after ten! lol) i would say ten or half ten would sit more comfortably with me. does she get up ok in the morning, or do you need to force her up?

on an occasion, i would negotiate a fair time to be in, but obviously be very sure of how shes getting home, whatever.....

i think that being late, with no good reason, and especially with no contact is not acceptable......to me, a good way of dealing with this is to cut the curfew earlier......and then have to earn it back with consistantly good timekeeping....

hth.

[anastasia74]

Thanks, she 17 by the way. She doesnt have an allowance as such, we just give her money if shes going out etc. or if shes going shopping or has done jobs around the house, I think I will try cutting the curfew back if shes not sticking to it. Unfortunately she has'nt a problem getting up in the morning when shes been in late.

[mellyonion]

it always worked well for me......i would arrive half dead, after running sprinting two miles, and arrive at my house BANG on the hour at which i had to be in!! lol

if i was late, that time was taken off the next night..... ie, if i was due in at 11pm, and i arrived at 11.20, i would have to be in at 10.40 the next night......

[Emprexia]

I had an 11pm curfew in the week, if i was going to be later i had to call and let my parents know.

Weekends i could stay out as long as i liked, as long as they knew where i was going and kept my phone switched on.