Help - I think my daughter's depressed

[HotFlush]

I have been tidying my 15 1/2 yr old's bedroom and have come across an open letter.
The thread through the whole letter is that no one understands her. She says she eats because she know she has to but doesn't want to, she joins in the laughter at school to fit in but all she wants to do is go home to bed where she can be herself. She also talks about an overdose that she has taken (I don't know of what or when) and that she would be better off dead. We have seen various doctors about her overwhelming tiredness and stomach pains with no answers. I have been wondering for a couple of weeks whether these were symptoms of an underlying psychological problem. Now it seems I am right.

What do I do now?

[mumblechum]

Oh, dear, your poor dd and poor you.

Well, the good thing is that at least you know now. I don't have a dd but my ds sometimes gets quite down. I think there's a lot of pressure on kids to conform to all sorts, academic, friends, etc.

If you go to your GP, she can be referred to CAMHS for assesment. If they feel that she's depressed, I think they'll suggest various options. I don't think they'll prescribe anti depressants as they get a very bad press for teenagers, but maybe she could get some counselling.

[chopchopbusybusy]

What you do now depends on the relationship you have with your DD. Would it be normal for you to tidy her bedroom and was the letter left where it would be easily found? If so, then it sounds as though she might want your help.

I'm not sure that it is necessarily that serious. I know when I was that age I would have written similar things. I really enjoyed wallowing in sad song lyrics too (Leonard Cohen was a big favourite)

If it were me (my DD is 14), then I'd have a girly shopping trip or similar and use the time to try to get her to speak to me. My DD will often talk to me in the car for example - I suspect because there is no eye contact! She also speaks more if we are just having a relaxed time together without DH or DD2 being around to listen in.

I wouldn't ignore it, I'd make an effort to find out what's going on in her head - I don't think I'd mention finding the letter, unless she mentions it.