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Teenagers

Am I mad???

14 replies

bonniej · 07/10/2004 15:15

It's ds 16th birthday on Saturday. He is generally mature and well behaved and really hasn't given us many problems (so far). We couldn't decide what to do for his birthday. He doesn't really want to spend the evening with his parents and says an organised party in a hall is childish. We are allowing him to have his friends round to our house on Saturday night and myself, dh and dd are going to stay at my FILs. We have stressed to ds that this isn't a party, more of a 'gathering' and we are trusting him to make sure it doesn't get out of hand. We will only be 10minutes away and dh will drive by a few times during the night to check all is well. Do you think we are sensible in allowing this. As I said I do trust ds and feel it is important he knows this. What do you think??

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KateandtheGirls · 07/10/2004 15:18

For a well behaved boy I think that sounds like a good idea.

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Hulababy · 07/10/2004 15:21

Good luck and I am sure it'll be fine. You have to trust him at some time. It's up to him now to show it was well placed.

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anorak · 07/10/2004 15:23

It's totally your call, since every child is different. I wouldn't do it because I'd be as anxious as all hell. Even if you trust your son, how do you know what his guests will do? If you are confident that they are all responsible types, then you may well be rewarded for trusting them. Let's hope so anyway.

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GRMUM · 07/10/2004 15:25

I think that sounds like a great balence for this age. I also believe its important to show that we trust them rather than just paying "lip service" The only thing I might do differently myself would be to actually go home at 2.00 am (for eg)

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bonniej · 07/10/2004 15:27

I do trust ds and his close circle of friends. They are a great bunch, my only concern is if anyone turns up who wasn't invited and causes trouble. Then again, we are only at the end of the phone. DH wants to come back late evening but I've said let him have the whole night to himself. Then again if anything goes wrong, it'll be my fault

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SoupDragon · 07/10/2004 15:30

Personally, I think I'd come back home at, say, 1am (and disappear quietly upstairs without causing any fuss). I'm not sure I'd be comfortable leaving him/them alone in the house all night. Are the friends staying?

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bonniej · 07/10/2004 15:35

Yes, the plan was for them to stay. There will be about eight of them staying. I've told ds that my bedroom and dd's room will be closed but they'll have access to the rest of the house.

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fuzzywuzzy · 07/10/2004 15:38

My boss had this kind of party for his dd's 16th, it was a great success apparantly and only the kitchen and garden were a state although dd graciously helped tidy up afterwards...
Boss did mention though that he'd locked some rooms as out of bounds, like for example the cream decor sitting room complete with cream fitted carpets...

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bonniej · 07/10/2004 15:40

Luckily enough we have dark carpets and furnishings (have 16 month old dd ) So everything is quite easy to care for. Ds is usually really fussy about our house and always makes his friends take their shoes off when they come round. (nice smell sometimes) I think i'm just going to have to keep my fingers crossed that everything goes ok.

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reddevil · 15/10/2004 10:28

How did it go? Is your house still standing?! I hope he had a lovely time and appreciates what fantastic parents he has.I'm full of admiration-my nerves would not have coped, even though I'm sure my DD would have behaved,I couldn't say the same about her friends!

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nikkiteen · 23/09/2006 13:13

i am having a serious problem, im 15 and i want a 16th birthday party, the thing is my parents hav absolutly no trust in me. they think alcohol is like evil. i drink at parties but i am responsible with it, and behave better than all of my freinds, but they still dont give me any trust. all my frends parents let them drink at meals and some buy them drinks for parties. my parents are still stuck in times wen they were my age. they treat me like im 10 and im fed up with having no respect from them. HELP me please!

Also i want to hav alcohol at my party but am having difficulty persuading them. if they buy it and control it, it would be better than people buying their own and sneaking it in, and not knowing how much and wat every1 was drinking.

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runkid · 23/09/2006 13:58

I can see your point of view and your parents to.
Parties sometimes get out of control and kids get sick when alcohol is involved. What if your parents got in touch with your mates parents and asked them if they would mind would that help. I remember feeling the same as you my parents would buy me a bottle of cider when i went to parties(many years ago)

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chenin · 23/09/2006 16:33

nikkiteen... I can see both sides of the story. I have two teen girls 15 next month and 17. the problem is... I'm sure your parents trust you but its sometimes other teens that can be a problem!
I have had parties here for my 17 yr old and it has worked, and I have provided alcohol. But you wouldn't believe the amount of alcohol some of her friends brought with them. Bottles of vodka and other spirits.
The worst that has happened here was a couple of kids were sick on the way home in their parents car (thank god, not here, and not my problem!)
BUT
I do know of parties that my DD has been to, at friends houses, where the houses have got trashed... radiators pulled off walls, carpets ruined, sick all over the garden etc.!!
So you say that you are more sensible than a lot of your friends.... surely those friends will be coming to your party and they won't be very sensible then???
Also, despite you wanting your parents to supply and control the drink at the party, other teens WILL bring in alcohol.. they always do.
I'm sure they are being cautious and its not easy for us parents....!

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skippydog · 03/10/2006 12:38

i remember having a 16th party and some girls tried to gatecrash it - and they were deff not the kind to let in your house.
What my parents had done was rope in my older brother and 2 of his mates to act as 'doormen' - it certainly saved a bad situation.
Do you have any lads a couple of years older that are youg enough to be there without loosing streetcred,but old enough to take control?

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