Self harming friend

[ineedsomeadvice1234]

I know this isn't the right place for me to write this, but I really need some advice and I don't know where else to ask. I am 13 and I have a really close friend who has depression,anxiety and body image issues. I always knew about her depression but she has told me she has been self harming and I really don't know what to do. She said that she has been doing it for a few weeks now, and I have suggested telling her mum or a nurse or anybody really but she has refused. She said not to say anything to anyone, but I am scared for her as she admitted she is carrying on doing it. I am also scared that if I don't say anything something will happen to her, but at the same time I don't want to betray her trust. I would be really thankful for any advice on what to say, how to handle it, what to do or just a outside perspective on it really.
Thank you x

[flossietoot]

Are you at school together? You need to tell the guidance teacher. She might be upset at first, but she needs adult help, and when she is feeling better, she will understand you were doing the best thing to get her support she needs.

[ineedsomeadvice1234]

Thank you for your reply, we are at school together. I am going to tell the guidance teacher on Monday- I couldn't stand it if anything was to happen to her.

[flossietoot]

Yes, that is the best thing to do. They can speak to her and make a decision from there on how best to proceed. Self harming is very common xx

[noego]

Ask her to call either Samaritans or Childline and speak to someone about this.

[leonardthelemming]

This:

www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/self-harm

and this:

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/truth-about-self-harm

give good advice. You can download a free booklet from the second one.

Actually, telling a teacher may not be the best thing to do, if your friend feels that you are taking control. Especially if she has specifically asked you not to tell anyone. Many people self-harm as a way to take back control when they feel their lives are being over-directed, so breaching that trust could make it worse. Healthcare professionals have strict guidelines about this sort of thing.

Better, having looked at the websites yourself, would be to show them to your friend and then offer to go with her to see the guidance teacher or preferably the school nurse.