Sheltering an older teen?

(6 Posts)
user1478712989 Wed 09-Nov-16 17:53:07

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right category, as i am a teen myself, very new to all of this.

I lost my dad in my earlier teens to cancer, a short battle that was terrible and the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Fast forward a few years and my mums fallen ill, initially diagnosed with complications on her tonsils, suspected viral infection from tonsillitis. No big deal.

Shes stayed in hospital for around 2 weeks with a break in the middle, but was sent home recently awaiting test results. I have not been worried about this at all, until last night.

She has a bag in the kitchen containing her current meds (paracetamol, steroids bla bla) and whilst I was making us both a cuppa I happened to peer into it, I noticed an information leaflet titled 'Lymphoma' and a business card for a Macmillan nurse. Naturally I am petrified.

She hasn't said anything to me and I sat with her downstairs for a few hours to give her the opportunity to bring it up. Now i'm completely stumped on what to do. I'm too scared to bring up the conversation myself.

I should point out I'm a very independent (19), I work full time, drive and pay all my bills myself, my mum and I are incredibly close, adult best friends. I'm hurt she's keeping me out of the loop, but mostly just so scared for her.

Do you think she's not telling me right now just to protect me? or is she not sure on a diagnosis herself? Surely she wouldn't have been given that sort of information without a diagnosis.

How do I bring this up and get her to be honest with me? As much as I'm scared to hear her answer, its eating me up not knowing. Just looking for a bit of support I suppose.

tired17 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:10:58

Didn't want to read and run but I don't have any specific advice for you sorry. I'm sure someone will be along shortly with better advice. In my (limited) experience worrying about an unknown is far worse than dealing with facts.

If I were you in would try to bring it up in a general way by asking how she is feeling, has she got any more appointments, do the doctors know what the problem is etc. She may then give you more information about her illness. Above all try not to worry until you know whether there is anything to worry about.

Thinking of you.

BigSandyBalls2015 Fri 11-Nov-16 11:06:55

I think you need to bring this up with her, best to have it out in the open and deal with whatever it is. Your mum probably is trying to shelter you if it is bad news, due to your experience with your dad. Hope she's ok.

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret Fri 11-Nov-16 13:36:13

You poor thing, I'm sorry you don't have more replies. How about you just come clean and ask her? I'm sorry to hear that you're going though this

coffeeslave Sat 12-Nov-16 16:51:30

You can also phone Macmillan yourself, they're for everyone affected by cancer. If you need to chat about how you're feeling x

stayathomegardener Sat 12-Nov-16 17:06:34

Just tell her what you have seen.
I'm sure she is trying to protect you, my DD is 17 and I would do the same.
She would hate to think you knew and were worrying, you can then support each other.
Best wishes for your Mums recovery you sound like a lovely daughter.

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