Hope I can get pearls of wisdom from mumsnetters. We are a family unit - DH, DD and myself. DS, 19, has always been very laid back, kind and considerate, but also very lazy when it comes to college work and any chores round the house etc. Has been very frustrating at times as he is bright but despite our constant pushing of him over the last couple of years to work hard at college and sort out what he wants to do for a job etc, it's been like pulling teeth! He finished college this year and I really think he just doesn't want to work at all - just wants to hang out with mates and play on PlayStation. I've told him not working isn't an option. His dad is a decorator and we got him an apprenticeship one day a week at college and the other four days working with his dad getting an apprenticeship wage. We thought this would be ideal as he can be socially awkward at times with other people, plus it could be something to do whilst he decides what he really wants to do, although he appears not to have a clue what job he'd like to do. He's been doing the apprenticeship for a month and has been working mostly well. Two weeks ago he walked off a job he was doing midway stating it was because his dad had raised his voice etc. Disappeared for two days to a friend's, switched off his phone, refused to get in touch. I managed to reach him through his friend and begged him to come home as I had guilt about his dad shouting at him (it was because he had been on PlayStation until 3am the previous night, so was not working properly - too tired, so DH flipped with him). He came home, we discussed it was out of order to just up and leave like that, he kind of agreed, and everything was okay; he's been working okay this last week. His dad left him doing a job yesterday morning whilst he went to get supplies, but when DH returned DS had walked out, apparently to hang out with friends, again, but this time nothing had lead up to this, so clearly he had gone just because he wanted to. Again we have not heard from him and he won't answer his phone, and we haven't seen him since yesterday morning. I'm absolutely fed up wth it. DH is obviously spitting feathers as he has had to work today to pick up the slack from yesterday. What should i do? He's very non confrontational, in that he will not argue, so getting mad at him is not going to have any effect other than to make him play the victim. DH no longer wants to work with him, so he needs to find a job too. He apparently came home early hours of this morning To pick up his toothbrush and clean clothes whilst we were all in bed. Not sure when he intends coming home, and what we should do when he does? I'm very protective of him, and i just can't bring myself to go in too hard with him, but DH thinks I am too soft and we need to set clear rules as he is an adult, and that he needs to agree to live by our rules, or leave.
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Teenagers
19 yr old DS suddenly going off the rails
5 replies
Livelovebehappy · 22/10/2016 20:25
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