appalled by DD's (18) behaviour

(2 Posts)
Morporkia Tue 18-Oct-16 11:15:10

DD is 18, came out 2 years ago, has self harmed from age of 13. had secret boyfriend at 14 (we found out when she came home with a black eye) has always had anger management issues. secondary school was a nightmare, constant calls from school regarding her attitude and behaviour. at 16 was diagnosed with a (non cancerous) tumour in her ear, affecting her hearing and balance, op was successful - growth removed early this year and hearing much better. anyway she started college, doing a course that she has so much enthusiasm for, i felt we had turned a massive corner...until i got a letter from college informing me she had been suspended for an aggressive verbal attack on her tutor. i attended an interview with the course director and college supervisor. an i am so embarrassed and disappointed by her actions. I am at a loss what to do. she is to go in for a meeting after half term to discuss whether or not she will be staying on the course. i would not blame her teacher one bit if she is told to change courses, but worry that she would spiral completely out of control. i feel like crying and i havent slept properly sonce last week when it all happened. DH is currently having a massive flare up of his chronic illness, so i don't feel i can talk to him about this fully atm, as he is in so much pain. :'(

misshelena Tue 18-Oct-16 14:02:15

So sorry this is happening to you Morporkia! I would say the first thing you need to do is to stop feeling embarrassed. Hold your head up high. You did the best you could. Sometimes difficult kids happen to us and sometimes we make mistakes. It happens to everyone.
Then, I would say you help dd stay the course. I hope she listens to you some. You can advise her to first apologize sincerely, then offer to see a therapist or attend some anger management type class. The goal is to have the college give her another chance. You said that dd was very enthusiastic about the course. So it's worth fighting for.
Best of luck to you both!

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