Pre-teen worried about her weight and friendships

[Morebiscuitsplease]

My daughter admitted she thinks she is fat, she is slim, in regular sized clothes for her age, she is 12. When talking, she totally agreed I have never commented on her size or what she eats. She has a friend who is very aware of what she eats and whose mother is very controlling about food, even telling my daughter the calorie content of the dessert when she has had tea there. I find her attitude very unhealthy. Whilst she has got one very good friend at school, ( not the one with food issues)now in Y8 she would like more friends but lacks confidence. How can I support her, she clearly doesn't feel great about herself.

[misshelena]

I have two daughters -- 16yo and 13yo. Recently dd2 asked if I could continue to pack her lunch when she goes to high school (as I do for dd1) because she doesn't want to worry about overeating. When each has reached 13, I've reminded them occasionally to control their food intake because they are no longer growing at the rate they used to and don't need the extra calories.
Just plain talk -- they are both athletes and they perform better when they are thin and fit; they both love a clothing brand that makes just one size and they need to stay thin to fit into that one size. So I don't think that food intake talk has to be "unhealthy" necessarily especially since it is something that they have significant control over.

Does your daughter play a sport? It may help her to feel more confident in her own body if she sees what it can do (rather than just what it looks like to her in the mirror).

[Morebiscuitsplease]

Thanks misshelena she doesn't play a sport but does a dance class, cycles and has a 40 minute round trip to school which she walks every day. So she is getting exercise. She enjoys her dance.