Are teenage daughters all this horrible?

(9 Posts)
WorryMcStressHead Thu 29-Sep-16 10:24:42

Copied from my thread in chat. I need some support from somewhere and I don't really know where.

So... my daughter. She's 19 next month and we have gone from being so close all of her life, to this awkward tempestuous relationship and I hate it.

From about 16 and a half, she changed. I thought I had got away with it, she was the perfect child and I felt great pride in her because I have mostly been a single parent over the years, and she's amazing.

But the last couple of years have been so hard. She's great compared to some, she's clever, she's funny, she's creative - but on the flipside, she's arrogant, sarcastic, indifferent, lazy and selfish.

I'm pretty sure I was the same but I can't remember. Are they all like this? When does it change? All we do is argue and I really hate it.

Since I wrote this last week, it's all got a hundred times worse. We had another huge argument last night, I told her to get the fuck out of my house, and now apparently she is going down south to stay with my mum for a bit and look for a job down there. I've given her 2 weeks, and I need it to be over.

FretYeNotAllIsShiny Thu 29-Sep-16 10:29:21

It is my firm belief that teenagers need to go through being utter shits for a time to loosen the bonds a bit. My eldest moved out at about the same age and I was relieved. That was five years ago, we get on like a house on fire now.

Desmondo2016 Thu 29-Sep-16 10:44:01

i saw the post on chat and commented. I'm in a similar situation. I feel like I don't like her much which makes me so sad.

WorryMcStressHead Thu 29-Sep-16 10:48:47

Fret you may well have something there. Maybe by the time they move out, it is designed so that you can't wait for them to leave, rather than it breaking your heart.

Desmond thank you. I'm in the same boat.

yeOldeTrout Thu 29-Sep-16 20:46:11

I've often thought that's the biological purpose of teenage gitness, too!!
If you're arguing then at least you are still communicating. Hang in there. x

Fannyfannakerpants Thu 29-Sep-16 20:55:04

I don't have teenagers yet but did read that in some cultures, teenagers are sent away to live elsewhere whilst they go through the horrible phase. (I'm site the article was far more In depth than that) But It makes sense. I don't know how my mum didn't send me away. I know that's of no use but I think it's normal and space might be good for both of you.

Stopyourhavering Fri 30-Sep-16 15:00:22

Dd2's bitchiness phase coincided with my menopause following hysterectomy.....she had too many and I didn't have any!..... She still has her moments but since having gone to uni I think she does appreciate me more now and realise how much I did do for her even when she thought I was being unreasonable

JeanPadget Fri 30-Sep-16 21:51:30

Yes, they are unhelpful

Ausernotanumber Fri 30-Sep-16 21:52:22

Yes. It's so your heart doesn't break when they move out.

They get ok again around 21.

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