Talking to teenage DD

(14 Posts)
LucyLocketLostHerPocket Tue 30-Aug-16 21:55:41

How do you as a parent of a volatile teenage DD approach the fact that their diet is nutritionally awful? DD is a vegetarian of some years and although it's a PITA I don't argue as its her right to choose now. However, at 15 she exists on a diet of basically sugar, beige carbs and fruit smoothies. Maybe once or twice a week she will deign to eat a meal with us usually with tofu or eggs but apart from that she rarely eats a proper meal let alone a balanced one.
She was unwell recently and didn't eat for about a week. She lost a few pounds and looked really good, the weights going back on fast though and very so she will be unhappy about it. The problem is if I say anything like I don't think she should be eating the quantity of sugary shit she is and maybe some eggs or other protein would be better, she shouts at me for calling her fat.

Now I never have called her fat but her diet concerns me and I care even though she thinks it's just me being bitchy. Shes fit as she rides a lot but it's not a licence to eat. How do I make her see I'm not trying to make her feel bad about herself, I want to stop her feeling like that. She moans about not being skinny and having a belly etc but refused to see the connection, it's just me being mean.

I love her very much but everything is so nightmarishly hard with her. I'm not competing with her FFS, she's my child and I want her to be happy and healthy. I could say nothing for a quiet life but somehow that feels wrong.

lastqueenofscotland Wed 31-Aug-16 10:58:42

I wouldn't bring it up unless she does, and if she does don't make it about her weight maybe more about eating with you/teaching her to cook. etc.

And for gods sake don't tell her she looked good after not eating for a week.

gamerchick Wed 31-Aug-16 11:02:03

Yeah I really hope you didn't tell her she looked good after not eating. Slippery slope confused

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Wed 31-Aug-16 11:15:34

Maybe buy her a vegi cook book and set her away in the kitchen?

LucyLocketLostHerPocket Wed 31-Aug-16 22:26:20

Surely though as a parent I can't just let her eat complete rubbish all the time and of course I didn't tell her she looked better for losing weight.

She has no interest in food really, just snacky things she can make quickly. She has no desire to cook or prepare food and no consideration of its nutritional values.

It's not about her weight although several close relatives have had real weight problems and it's open knowledge that it's because of their food and lifestyle choices. It's more about the fact that she's my child and it's hard to see her being unhappy about her appearance without pointing out that maybe she's not eating the best diet if she wants things to be different. If she is to be responsible for what goes in to her mouth then surely I have to try and educate her. Or do I just leave her eating crap and just make sympathetic noises when she's upset.

SanityClause Wed 31-Aug-16 22:38:37

She does know that eating too much makes you fat, as we all do.

I know its hard sometimes not to problem solve for your children, but she maybe does just want a bit of sympathy.

Are there healthier snacky things you could have in that she might Hoover up? It sounds like she likes fruit - would she snack on berries? What about carrot sticks and homous if they were chopped up in the fridge, ready to go? Quorn mini eggs are a favourite with all of my DC (only one is a vegetarian) and a good source of protein. Olives and cheese?

So, I'm just suggesting you have some of this stuff available, not that you make a song and dance about it. If something is popular, make sure it's reasonably regularly available. And perhaps build up a repertoire of healthier snacks that she will eat?

FarAwayHills Sun 04-Sep-16 19:36:37

Maybe dont buy sugar and beige snacks in your shopping and replace these with healthier options.

yeOldeTrout Sun 04-Sep-16 19:41:13

tbh, when I was a veggie, I ate a lot less healthily than I did after I became a carnivore.

how does she get the junk food items, who buys them?

What do you eat & how could you slightly modify it to make it more suitable for veggies?

Puzzledmum Mon 05-Sep-16 14:04:14

I'd stop buying the unhealthy snacks, so she has nothing like this in the house. Perhaps if she likes fruit, she can eat this instead of the sweets. My DD 15 is also a veggie but is quite careful that she does not eat too much carbs. May be try and monitor her evening meals and send her to school with packed lunch instead of giving her money.

Frazzled50yrold Mon 05-Sep-16 14:46:01

I'm a vegetarian in a house of meat eaters.It's great that she has the initiative to be a vegetarian at her age , the sweet issues are worrying and I wonder has she thought through that so many of them contain gelatine. What about having a few vegetarian days in your house, it's going to help everyone and maybe mainstream the vegetarian issues. She's going to have to think through her iron intake and carefully plan her diet or she'll run into issues.

takesnoprisoners Mon 05-Sep-16 14:49:35

Cook for her. Give her choices and take away the sugary treats if you can. I am sure at 15, she must come to your or your DH for money. Just say no and make it all home cooked meals.

Bumperstickers Tue 13-Sep-16 00:07:01

Its really tricky to know how to approach the subject of weight and diet with teens. Dd17 stopped all exercise about a year ago and although I provide mostly healthy meals at home, I know she eats a lot of crap outside. Her weight has been creeping up as a result of this and her total inactivity. I just want her to be fit and healthy but any suggestion of exercise or cutting down on the crap and I am accused of calling her fat.
I don't know what to say for the best and at 17 what can I do anyway.

dollybird Mon 19-Sep-16 22:48:07

None of us are vegetarian in our house but I cook a veggie main meal twice a week for health, save a bit of money and for variety. I think it normalises vegetarianism for the DC too. Could you perhaps try this so that you're all sitting down to the same meal together and you know she's had a healthy meal twice a week?

butterfly990 Tue 20-Sep-16 13:19:53

I have the same issues with my daughter eating unhealthily and flitting between becoming a vegetarian and more recently a vegan. She is only 12.

Is their a book specifically for teenagers on healthy eating that I could buy her. One of her friend's mum is the local slimming world coach and she has told me she is happy to chat about lifestyle choices and eating healthily.

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