Teenage addiction?(1 Post)
Apologies for the lengthy post.
Lately we've noticed some changes in our 15yo DS behaviour. Initially, we put it down to a phase but things are escalating. He’s always been a kind, well-mannered young man full of respect for his family however this has all changed. Three months ago, we became aware that he was using his phone a lot more than usual (data +wifi). We weren’t concerned at first as he has always enjoyed playing games both console and on his phone. However, there were always rules in place with regards to time etc. He gets a lot of homework and has always kept on top of that and consequently done well at school.
As time passed his schoolwork started to dip and he was spending a lot of time on his phone. He was caught using it during the night which had never happened before. This night usage increased to a point where he was accessing data a couple of times during the night. His behaviour has become very aggressive and now seems to have no respect for anyone. When DH tries to talk to him he refuses to speak to him and says that other friend’s dads are better than him and understanding. DS then says its better if we don't talk as there's less arguements.
We have outlined to DS that using your phone during the night and locking himself away is not healthy. He just refuses to listen and blames us for being poor parents. He says that he refuses to speak to us as he’ll get shouted at/told off. He takes the high ground and speaks down to us as if he’s setting the rules. DH has said that everywhere in life there are rules that need to be followed otherwise there would be chaos. DS refuses to listen. DS seems to feel he’s always in the right and everyone else is wrong and against him.
DH has asked for his phone during the night but DS has refused to give it to him. As a result, we have switched wifi off during the day and only put it on for a few hours during the evening. DS is extremely annoyed with this and says that that this no way to be treated etc etc. Unfortunately, this means that our DC also have to put up with no wifi – which isn’t fair on them.
DS now only comes out of his room for meals otherwise is in his room all day, listening to music, on his computer/phone. We believe he is using kick messenger and talking to random people at night. DS feels that it isn’t a problem and he’s only doing this during the holidays to relax. He admits he was “lazy” during the end of the year and this will not happen again. He claims this behaviour is quite common amongst his peers. He assures us that he will change his ways once term begins. We are worried that he is just playing us to get what he wants – a hassle free period and internet. We're also concerned about who he’s talking to at night - this may have influenced his sudden change in behaviour?. Even though the wifi is off he uses his data allowance to use the phone at night. Although we are worried about his phone usage, we are more concerned about the dramatic change in personality.
Any tips on how to resolve this or do we need to contact an addiction counsellor and school for help?
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