Has she been assaulted??

(16 Posts)
Parentingteenagersishard Wed 18-May-16 23:11:13

Horrible situation
DD (13) reports that on a recent trip, boys put hands in her underwear, and pursuaded her to touch them. She says she didn't want to. Rumours are spreading. My instant reaction is to report to school for sexual assault but could I make matters worse.

ImperialBlether Wed 18-May-16 23:12:35

Report it, definitely. That is sexual assault. Your poor daughter.

AmyL1234 Thu 19-May-16 07:42:10

So sorry to hear this. I'd report it straight away, you can not let this go unnoticed.

Lweji Thu 19-May-16 07:48:18

Definitely report.
Were they on her class?

I'd get a professional to talk to her and give her support and guide me a bit.

My main question would be reporting to the police or not. And I would. It's beyond some taunting or common bad behaviour at school and they are old enough to know better.

Lweji Thu 19-May-16 07:49:44

Btw, what can make it worse would be for her to think she had to put up with it or other pupils to think this was normal or she was anyway at fault.

DiggersRest Thu 19-May-16 07:49:51

Report definitely. But how did she let someone put their hands down her pants, as in was it her bf? Not that that makes it ok, as l said l would report.

MummySparkle Thu 19-May-16 07:51:40

You need to talk to the child protection officer at your school. They will know how to handle it / where to escalate it. I also agree that finding an impartial (ie not mum dad teacher etc) professional for her to talk to would be beneficial. School may have a counsellor that is in. Horrible situation for you and your DD flowers

imwithspud Thu 19-May-16 07:52:49

How awful, definitely report. This needs to be dealt with.

ShizeItsWeegie Thu 19-May-16 07:58:28

You must report this. To not do so shows you do not have her back. Growing up, my DMum kept quiet about stuff she should not have and even now I feel she let me down. She would have done it because she hated being the centre of attention and just wanted to blend in but it was wrong over some of the shit I had to deal with. I felt I had no support. Please report this with names places etc.

WomanWithAltitude Thu 19-May-16 08:11:35

She has been assaulted and it's a criminal offence - you need to try to support your daughter in reporting to the police. Treating it as a school matter runs the risk of minimising what's happened to her. sad

WomanWithAltitude Thu 19-May-16 08:13:53

Diggers - wtf? angry

WomanWithAltitude Thu 19-May-16 08:16:13

Diggers - saying 'she let someone put their hands' makes it sound like she was consenting. And she clearly wasn't.

Would you tell rape victims they 'let someone have sex with them'?

It's a fucking appalling thing to say about an assault victim. angry

BadDoGooder Thu 19-May-16 08:30:52

Have you ever been in that situation Digger?
I presume not otherwise you wouldn't come out with such a stupid thing.
Victim blaming at its finest..

Definitely report op your poor daughter. flowers
I would go to the police too, a kid I used to know who did stuff like this at school ended up in prison later for much worse.
You would be doing the boys a favour too by nipping it in the bud now.

DiggersRest Thu 19-May-16 09:22:11

Yes sorry absolutely 'let' was not what l meant. I was thinking along the lines of was she in a situation where she might think letting someone do this was normal / the next step (making out) even though she didn't want it to happen. I have 2 dd and this makes my blood run cold, I didn't mean it in any way to sound like l was blaming OP dd.

JennyOnAPlate Thu 19-May-16 11:12:38

Phone the police, without question. Your daughter needs to know that you believe her and are on her side.

Parentingteenagersishard Thu 19-May-16 12:26:06

Thank you all
Seen school this am
She knows we believe her and supporting her.

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