Has she been assaulted??

[Parentingteenagersishard]

Horrible situation
DD (13) reports that on a recent trip, boys put hands in her underwear, and pursuaded her to touch them. She says she didn't want to. Rumours are spreading. My instant reaction is to report to school for sexual assault but could I make matters worse.

[ImperialBlether]

Report it, definitely. That is sexual assault. Your poor daughter.

[AmyL1234]

So sorry to hear this. I'd report it straight away, you can not let this go unnoticed.

[Lweji]

Definitely report.
Were they on her class?

I'd get a professional to talk to her and give her support and guide me a bit.

My main question would be reporting to the police or not. And I would. It's beyond some taunting or common bad behaviour at school and they are old enough to know better.

[Lweji]

Btw, what can make it worse would be for her to think she had to put up with it or other pupils to think this was normal or she was anyway at fault.

[DiggersRest]

Report definitely. But how did she let someone put their hands down her pants, as in was it her bf? Not that that makes it ok, as l said l would report.

[MummySparkle]

You need to talk to the child protection officer at your school. They will know how to handle it / where to escalate it. I also agree that finding an impartial (ie not mum dad teacher etc) professional for her to talk to would be beneficial. School may have a counsellor that is in. Horrible situation for you and your DD

[imwithspud]

How awful, definitely report. This needs to be dealt with.

[ShizeItsWeegie]

You must report this. To not do so shows you do not have her back. Growing up, my DMum kept quiet about stuff she should not have and even now I feel she let me down. She would have done it because she hated being the centre of attention and just wanted to blend in but it was wrong over some of the shit I had to deal with. I felt I had no support. Please report this with names places etc.

[WomanWithAltitude]

She has been assaulted and it's a criminal offence - you need to try to support your daughter in reporting to the police. Treating it as a school matter runs the risk of minimising what's happened to her.

[WomanWithAltitude]

Diggers - wtf?

[WomanWithAltitude]

Diggers - saying 'she let someone put their hands' makes it sound like she was consenting. And she clearly wasn't.

Would you tell rape victims they 'let someone have sex with them'?

It's a fucking appalling thing to say about an assault victim.

[BadDoGooder]

Have you ever been in that situation Digger?
I presume not otherwise you wouldn't come out with such a stupid thing.
Victim blaming at its finest..

Definitely report op your poor daughter.
I would go to the police too, a kid I used to know who did stuff like this at school ended up in prison later for much worse.
You would be doing the boys a favour too by nipping it in the bud now.

[DiggersRest]

Yes sorry absolutely 'let' was not what l meant. I was thinking along the lines of was she in a situation where she might think letting someone do this was normal / the next step (making out) even though she didn't want it to happen. I have 2 dd and this makes my blood run cold, I didn't mean it in any way to sound like l was blaming OP dd.

[JennyOnAPlate]

Phone the police, without question. Your daughter needs to know that you believe her and are on her side.

[Parentingteenagersishard]

Thank you all
Seen school this am
She knows we believe her and supporting her.