thought it got easier

(14 Posts)
L15513 Fri 08-Apr-16 16:22:30

When does parenting get easier? My DS is 17 and I think I worry more about him now than when he was younger! I'm so worried he's made some wrong decisions with his life and because of these decisions, he's going to end up lonely. Has anyone else experienced similar? Does it ever get easier?

L15513 Fri 08-Apr-16 17:44:52

Anyone! Help please X

AnyFucker Fri 08-Apr-16 17:51:56

My dd is 20 now and I would say it has got easier

Or I have detached better

dingit Fri 08-Apr-16 17:53:25

Yes! As levels and choosing a university. Beyond stressful!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 08-Apr-16 17:56:02

My eldest is almost 20, and I still worry. About different things, but I worry about him all the same.

AnyFucker Fri 08-Apr-16 17:57:43

I have found raising teenagers to be the singularly most stressful period of my life. No joke.

L15513 Fri 08-Apr-16 18:05:01

It really is interfering with my life. I constantly worry about him. If he stays in I worry that he's got no friends. If he goes out I worry that he's gonna get attacked. I worry about what he's going to do with his life to the point where it takes over my every thought!

AnyFucker Fri 08-Apr-16 18:08:54

That seems a bit excessive, love

zoelife111 Fri 08-Apr-16 18:11:13

Teens are harder to parent than tweens

Their bodies change, their bones become denser, their joints, hands and feet in particular. Their muscles take a while to adjust to the extra load they have to lift with every single movement. So they tire easily, and their sleeping patterns change.

Their brains change. They lose the good judgement they developed earlier, they are no longer able to accurately read facial expressions or tomes of voice.

Their hormones change....not even going to start on that one!!!!

This is a specific life stage with specific challenges. It does go away again! meanwhile, it can help for teens to understand that these things are going to happen to them.

Good luck! if its any consolation, decades of teaching have taught me that those who hit the teenage conflict zone earlier have less chance of doing their life prospects serious damage than those that reach it at 19/20 .....

BabyGanoush Fri 08-Apr-16 18:14:23

Are you generally anxious?

What life choices has he made that worry you so?

HildaFlorence Fri 08-Apr-16 18:15:29

Who on earth told you it gets easier , parenting teens and young adults is seriously the hardest thing I have ever done in my life .Its emotionally exhausting, the problems are bigger, more important , more life changing and I seem to have been blessed with three incredibly stubborn teens

BackforGood Fri 08-Apr-16 18:28:34

Maybe it depends on the teen, maybe it depends on you.
I don't know, but I find life MUCH easier now I can go out and leave them at home alone, or they can go out without me supervising them, and they can dress themselves, strap themselves into car seats, wash and brush their own hair, sleep through the night, cook, don't need nappies changing, and, most of all, I get a full night's sleep.

What you say in your 2nd post, sounds much more about irrational anxiety on your part, than your teen being particularly 'difficult'.
Do you want to tell us any more ?

L15513 Fri 08-Apr-16 18:37:57

Thanks everyone. My DS dad left us when he was 3 and for 11 years it was just the 2 of us. He had a bit of a hard time at infant school with bullying but he settled down when I moved him to another school. He had a good group of friends who he remained close to in secondary school. He decided not to go on to college but got an apprenticeship. Now I'm wondering if that was the right move as all his "friends" have disappeared and formed new groups with their college friends and barely bother with my DS. I hate seeing him on his own. It breaks my heart but when I try to talk to him, he bites my head off. I do suffer with depression and anxiety which has been quite bad the past few months as I've been off work with an injury and have been on my own almost everyday. I have a new partner who my son just about tolerates and has on occasion accused me of favouring my partner over him. They get on ok most of the time but my partner is worried about me being so stressed about DS and his idea of helping was to tell DS not to upset me by talking about his problems so now DS won't talk to me at all and I get a grunted fine when I ask if he's ok. It's so hard seeing him moping around on his own not being able to do anything to help.

zoelife111 Fri 08-Apr-16 20:28:47

good for him for getting an apprenticeship - they are like gold dust round here! They are not an easy option, by any means, but very well respected (not all, most)

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