18 DD rude

[Beezles]

Just here because I don't drink or eat Easter eggs, otherwise it would be gin and chocolate. I'm feeling pretty battered by parenting and tearful.

My DD18 is in 2nd year A levels. She appears to be gently drifting into failing them. I have now given up trying to fight that battle. She goes in to college (mostly), hands in her work (mostly) but does the bare minimum. So, she'll most likely not do too well. She is generally helpful and kind and likes to spend time with me (sometimes in quite a possessive clingy way) but every couple of months she gets stressed or something happens in her private life or hormones kicks off and she becomes sulky, nasty and rude with a side helping of extreme selfishness. And each time I get it in the neck (single parent). I feel like her kicking post. And it really, really gets me down. I wonder what I did to raise such an unkind person who is so selfish. I am going through cancer treatment too, but it is an 'invisible' cancer (no chemo, and I appear very physically well despite radiotherapy and liver resection etc). Her twin brother is in the 'grunt and stink' stage, and deeply uncommunicative, though a kind-hearted person. I just feel like a shit mum for not raising eloquent mature helpful kids who don't spend all their time in their rooms, and a shit mum for being over-involved in my kids' lives (I do nag sometimes and I do over-help with stuff that is their responsibility and I suppose pester to know a bit about what they did that day or how their lives are going - they both say I ask too many questions at mealtimes ie more than one). I dunno. I just feel a bit shit and sad. Thanks for letting me offload here.

[CalicoBlue]

Try not to take it personally. This is what teenagers are like. Their brains are rewiring and they do not feel empathy. Some are better at dealing with it than others.

You are going through a hard time, I am sorry to hear about your health. Concentrate on yourself and don't beat yourself up about things you can not change.

I have three at home and they are all different in their various teenage issues.

[Beezles]

Thanks Calico,

I think you have hit the nail on the head. It feels so personal and I'm not very good at detaching. Sometimes it does get to me in a very direct way. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Parenting is bloody hard sometimes. Today was one of those days.
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