Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

advice please as I am fed up with the double standards.

12 replies

2snowshoes · 13/12/2006 15:38

he has just come home and told me he might be in trouble at school. a boy at school has been taking the** out of dd. calling her a spaz. ds called him a brazillian tosser, (the boy is fully aware that dd has cp and is in a wheelchair)
today they had a fight and now the boy is going to report him for racism.
should be interesting. I have complained over an over about various kids using dd to bully ds. calling him a spaz ect.
ds has people to vouch for the fact this boy constantly winds him up(also off to check our msn log to see if I have the spaz stuff on there)
I could just scream

OP posts:

Report

HuwEdwards · 13/12/2006 15:42

What about pre-empting this and getting an appt with the head asap..?

Report

Blu · 13/12/2006 15:44

2shoes - so sorry all this is rearing up again - your poor DS.

Having used such horrible words against your dd, the boy hasn't got a leg to stand on, but i think it would be strategic to expaon to your DS that he retains the moral high ground - and the (theoretical) greater ability to get the staff on his side if he DOESN'T retaliate with anything that is in any way divisive or pick on someone's nationality, physical characteristics erc etc. He will keep himself stronger if he sticks strictly to the standards he upholds.

He must be able to see that the boy is now gleefully shouting 'racism' - whether it will get very far as a complaint or not.

Suppose DS were to go to his teacher or head of year tomorrow and say "something has happened and I'm not happy about it, x called my sister a spaz, and i got really upset and called him a Brazilian tosser, which i'm sorry about...what can we do about stopping him being offensive about y sister?".

Would take the wind out of the other boys sails?

Report

Blu · 13/12/2006 15:45

sorry for waffle - cross-posted with HE succinct suggestion!

Report

2snowshoes · 13/12/2006 15:54

in the past trying to see someone is impossible. ds has aggreed 2 wrongs don't make a right. and is going to call him something else next time(sigh) because there will be a next time.
ds had a fight with him once and the boy said that ds was hitting him cos he was black(nothing to do with him calling dd a spaz of course)
ds doesn't want me to go to the school(he is nearly 15) at the moment he thinks that the boy won't do it.(I have found the chat logs)
ds is not a racist far from it. ths whole thing just gets to me as it seems like it is ok to call someone a spaz cos they are in a wheelchair. but you can't call them a name back.
(sorry in rant mode)

OP posts:

Report

smartiepartie · 13/12/2006 19:30

well, the whole point of your quite rightful indignation is that it is NOT ok to call anyone an spaz, and we all agree with you on that one.

Personally I think brazilian tosser is pretty mild (unless I am missing a reference to - ahem - a private haircut?) and would be releived if my ds (17) had limited his retaliation to this under similar circumstances. But maybe just tosser next time? If you know there is going to be a next time, maybe suggest some more acceptable insults for ds to practice so he is prepared?

Report

2snowshoes · 13/12/2006 19:37

lol
I am going to tell ds that one. so he wasn't being racist just talking about private haircuts

OP posts:

Report

mummy2aaron · 14/12/2006 08:20

I may be wrong but I don't thing ds's comment was particularly racist - he didn't allude to the boys colour at all, it was more about the boy being a tosser which he obviously is to still be calling your dd a spaz - at his age he should know better - perhaps if ds insulted his obvious lack of intelligence next time.

Report

FestiveFrex · 14/12/2006 09:22

Is the boy Brazilian? If he is, then your ds was merely being accurate. If not, I'd go with the private haircut line . I'm not certain why calling someone Brazilian is racist anyway.

Report

2snowshoes · 14/12/2006 10:29

ds has gone of to school(slightly red faced lol) after I passed the facts about brazillian hair dressing on to him
he is going to turn it on it's head hopefully.

OP posts:

Report

Lwatkins · 14/12/2006 10:42

This other boy's attidute is disgusting, and well done to your ds for defending what was said about dd. What a horrid little brat, kids can be so cruel. If that sort of thing had ever been said about my sister (had the circumstances been the same) i would have hospitalized the little s**t - permanantly!
As for what was said, is the boy brazillion? If so then your ds was just stating 2 very real truths, the boy is brazillion, and he is very clearly a tosser! It's awful the school haven't taken action to stop this, especially if you've reported it.
ooooo, thats made my blood boil, this kids getting away with saying these awful things about your dd, and the minute he is put in his place he plays the racist card. oooooo, could your ds slip laxotives (sp) into the boys drink without him noticing - you know, accidentatly on purpose?!!

Report

mummy2aaron · 14/12/2006 12:18

Bet you are proud of him sticking up for his sister - good lad!

Report

2snowshoes · 14/12/2006 14:18

lol ds would love to do that to him.
the worst that could happen is ds gets a detention. which I won't allow. so lets all hope it doesn't come to that.
and yes I am proud of him. he loves ds to bits. and just can't get why anyone would want to say mean things about her.