Help me get this one right.

(4 Posts)
operaha Mon 30-Nov-15 13:41:03

My 18 year old daughter has found out her bf (8 months) has cheated on her sad he's 25 if it has any relevance but you wouldn't think there was that much of an age gap.

I haven't seen her since she found out, but she's coming home later and I need to not say the wrong thing. I expect that she'll stay with him and whilst that's the last thing I want, it's her life and me making any negative comment will only result in her running further towards him.
All I want to do is support her and not say (or at least wrongly say) the words in my mind... There was talk of moving in together which I hated before all this but now just need to keep things calm until she works out what to do.
She may have binned him already, they may already be back together. I just don't know what to say.
I have got her favourite dinner and a film to watch.... Best just not say anything until mentioned?

KielyKiely Mon 30-Nov-15 15:14:14

Favourite dinner and a film sounds great. Perhaps a hug and then leave it up to her? If she has told you herself (and you didn't find out via another source) you could say to her that you are there to listen and to advise in a non judgemental way if she wants to talk, and then leave the ball in her court. You sound lovely, it must be hard not to advise her to ltb. Good luck x

FellOutOfBedTwice Mon 30-Nov-15 15:19:19

Be kind and tread carefully if you think that negative comments will only encourage her to stay with him. Long term though I would be encouraging her to leave him. She deserves far better.

operaha Tue 01-Dec-15 07:22:48

She came home, refuses to talk about "it". Is very sad, had a nap, ate all her dinner, managed half the film and went for a bath. She was fast asleep in bed by the time it had finished.
I did ask if they'd broken up, she said "probably not"....
At least she's here and ok ish. What happens next I don't know... She has to look after the dog so at least she'll be getting up, I have to go to work now... Thanks for words, helps a bit smile

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