Anyone got any advice on 'sexting'? Found some stuff on DS phone to his GF

[josben]

I was checking DS's phone and found some silly stuff on it between him and his GF... and i am also concerned that they may have been exchanging intimate photos...

I am not sure how to approach this (as i was snooping on DS's phone) - but i know i need to do something - any advice appreciated ...TIA

[Clare1971]

Ages? I think it would be different advice if they are say 12 as opposed to 17 or if there is an age gap. Also, be prepared for this thread to declare that your DS is heading for the sex offenders register. That's how the last sexting thread went.

[SleepyForest]

If they are adults - stay out of it. If they are children - confiscate phone and move to remote Scottish island. Or somewhere in between for 16 year olds.

[Readysteadyknit]

It's illegal if they're underage.

This might be a good starting point for a discussion

www.childline.org.uk/explore/onlinesafety/Pages/Sexting.aspx

[josben]

Thanks for your posts - they are both 14!!!

[Drew64]

Firstly as they are 14 then they WILL experiment sexually.
Not in the way that I used to or possibly you (I don't know when you grew up but I grew up in the 70's. I'm 52)
My eldest DS had the lion share of his social contact online, Skype, Snapchat, Instagram.
It's the norm these days.

But...they both need to understand the consequences;

If they have been sharing pictures then they both need to implicitly trust the person they have sent them to. The last thing they will want is pictures being shared around school. It's possible, it happens.

It IS illegal. It's distribution of child pornography.

I have had the very same conversation with my eldest and whilst I understand that it's normal in the 21st century I needed him to understand that he must be very careful.
I told him that if it did get out then because he had sent and received images over our home WiFi then the police could come knocking on our door and investigate his mother and myself.

Now I know that scenario isn't likely but I wanted him to understand the consequences.

You may be surprised and how well he takes it, our DS took it very well and understood our point of view as we equally understood his point of view.

[Icanseeclearly]

As a word of caution, at 14 they can be hauled up for distribution of child abuse images. I have seen it happen when a mother found the images her daughter sent and received. It is something that has massively affected the boys life. It doesn't matter how much they trust each other because other people can get involved far too easily.

Honestly, regardless of the snooping you need a frank discussion here. The lad I know will be suffering from the knock on effects for a very long time (forced to leave the school, refused access to other main stream schools, educated in a referral unit, breakdown of his family ultimately meaning foster care, no gcses to speak of, college options reduced to level 1 courses.... I could go on. This is purely a result of intimate photo sharing between the two).

[Heartshapedbox12]

I'm 16 an made that mistake once an it genuinely ruined my social life for about a 1 year and I still get people poke me about it. I would tell his straight do not do not do it! The cost is much worse that fun you find it for that short amount of time!