DD older boyfriend ....

(13 Posts)
Madmary137 Mon 05-Oct-15 18:33:12

DD 14 has just announced she has a boyfriend who is 16. I'm quite freaked out about it shock
Anyone any advice/experienced! I've basically not shown any huge disapproval just yet till I'm calm. Feel bit out of my depth confused

exexpat Mon 05-Oct-15 18:39:20

Why are you freaked out about a two year age gap? That sounds perfectly normal to me.

PositiveAttitude Mon 05-Oct-15 18:42:58

Sounds fine to me.

ImperialBlether Mon 05-Oct-15 18:46:01

I thought he was going to be 45!

14 year old girls usually go out with boys who are a year or two older - that's fine.

rogueantimatter Mon 05-Oct-15 20:04:48

I'd be freaking out too. At their ages that's quite a difference IMO. But it'll probably only last a short time so play it cool if you possibly can.

You need to meet this boy or stalk him on facebook/ask around. Don't make a big deal out of it to your DD though. You don't wan't her enjoying the thrill of creating a bit of drama.

usual Mon 05-Oct-15 20:06:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeenAndTween Mon 05-Oct-15 20:07:24

I would be concerned too. Is that 1 academic year ahead or 2?

I would be concerned that a 16yo might wish to be more physical than I would wish my 14yo to be.
That my 14yo might feel pressured to be more physical than she felt ready for, but might not have the skills to avoid things.
I would be concerned that my 14yo might go to parties with a load of kids 2 years older where alcohol was more prevalent.

Whether my concerns would be justified is another thing, but that is what I would be worried about.

Best to stay calm though!

BoboChic Mon 05-Oct-15 20:07:39

Sounds normal.

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe Mon 05-Oct-15 20:08:24

two years is nothing. Relax.

Girlfriend36 Mon 05-Oct-15 20:08:43

As long as he isn't putting any pressure on her to do anything she shouldn't be doing yet then its fine, understand why you are freaked out though.

Madmary137 Mon 05-Oct-15 20:20:11

I maybe over reacting I just remember having older boyfriends and we didn't just hold hands and snog sad. Haunted by my teenage days! I suppose whilst two years is nothing at this age it's a bit scary.

DaimYou Mon 05-Oct-15 20:30:08

I had a 22yo boyfriend (briefly!) when I was 14 and I still don't know why. He never even attempted anything "inappropriate".

The boyfriends you remember OP? Were you just as up for it as they were? 16yo boy and a 14 yo girl are about at the same place emotionally, so really, it's your DD you need to worry about (as you are obviously). The average 14yo girl is more sexually precocious than the average 15/16yo boy IME.

You can't do much about him, so you need to make sure she knows what she wants, knows how to say no and knows how to keep herself safe.

Madmary137 Mon 05-Oct-15 20:56:41

You are right. She's not me , I just hope she's sensible. We had the talk she cringed!

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