I want to run away from home.

[UsernameIncorrect]

The pressure of this is too much for me. I've ruined her. She's nasty, rude, entitled, angry, selfish and on and on.

Waiting for CAMHS appointment. 'Minor' self harm and possibly suicidal. It sounds awful, but I don't know how much is true and how much is an excuse for appalling behaviour. I hear her on the phone to her mates and she's sweet and happy, and then she's awful to me. She's happy if she's getting her own way, any obstacles and she's monosyllabic again.

I feel I can't discipline her right now, or she might kill herself. I can't risk it. I want to scream at her to just fucking stop it.

[IguanaTail]

This sounds horrendous. I don't know what to say but didn't want to read and run.

[IguanaTail]

How old is she? I'm going to guess 14.

[Solo]

I was going to guess 15...

[UsernameIncorrect]

15. Please tell me she'll grow out of it.

[Solo]

My Ds went through it starting at 15. I went through it at 15 too. Very depressed. I think it's a phase that most of us go through tbh. It's that awful stage when you aren't really a child anymore, but you aren't quite an adult either and it's really painful ~ excruciating for the teen and frustrating and scream worthy for the parent/s. Hang on in there OP.

[Wolfiefan]

You have ruined her. Teenagerhood has temporarily derailed her. Do you have any support?
BTW the sweetness on the phone to her mates could be a good front. We can only show our rawest emotions to those we love the most. Xx

[DragonsCanHop]

Stick with her! Ignore the main part and pick your battles. It really is a very hard phase.

You don't know what to do for the best and she has no clue on how to handle her feelings, life is hard at 15.

That said, she doesn't have the right to make you feel nervous of helping her learn how to be a nice person and most of that should be established by now.

Can you give an example of what she is doing to push your buttons?

[UsernameIncorrect]

Thanks Solo. I went through it myself at that age and with that in mind have been trying to make it as easy as possible for her. She's acting like I punch her at every given opportunity.

She's just put a photo up on FB and you've never seen a happier girl with her friends. Ten minutes after it was taken she nearly took the door off the car slamming it when I collected her. She asked me to collect her btw, I wasn't so stupid as to tell her to come home.

[Wolfiefan]

Username my 12 year old burst into tears tonight because I pointed out he'd eaten four of something and I'd had two. You would have thought from his reaction that I had screamed vile abuse in his face.

[Wolfiefan]

Stupid question but have school offered any support?

[UsernameIncorrect]

Gee thanks Wolfiefan ;-)

DragonsCanHop I agree, she should know how to be a nice person by now, depression/being 15 shouldn't completely erase all that. You'd think...

[UsernameIncorrect]

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe I don't think the self-harm is a massive problem yet. But good point, I'll keep an eye on web.

School have just said to let them know if they can help, I'm not sure what to suggest tbh. She's missed a week and probably will miss this week coming.

Wolfiefan the Gee thanks was for your typo (I hope) when you said I HAD ruined her!

[elephantoverthehill]

I had this with DS when he 17. Cahms were very supportive. They encouraged me to keep being a Mum and to allow him to see his friends as much as possible. They were right, as we are now a couple of years down the line.

[IguanaTail]

Why does she need to miss this week? I would do a search of the sites she has been on.

[Wolfiefan]

Oh bollocks! I absolutely meant you had NOT ruined her.
God I'm a wreckage. What the hell will I be like when mine hit teen years? DD will be awful. Just like me!