How to broach drugs talk to DS16

[MrsRossPoldark]

My DS16 has just gone out with two mates & promised to be back by 11pm. Not too worried, though I don't really like him being out this late on college nights. I know one of the two lads he's out with, but not the one who came to fetch him, who seems perfectly nice to me.

Trouble is, my ES18 tells me that the friend I do know is into weed. He also has a bit of a 'past' and has spent a couple of years being expelled from various secondary schools, ending up in a special school for those who would otherwise not be in school at all [can't remember what they call them these PC days, sorry].

He was also responsible a couple of years ago for almost getting my DS16 into trouble with the police when they were questioned over an incident involving a gun! The other lad was given a formal warning, but my son didn't as the police didn't actually see him with the gun in his hand. I should add that they were shooting at tin cans, not doing anything esp. risky.

I would like to give this lad the benefit of the doubt - having done his time at this special school, I'd like to think he's a reformed character? However, it worries me that my son is spending too much time with this lad and that they hang out next to railway lines and behind housing estates a lot of the time. DS16 says they are just hanging out, but after what ES18 has said, I am concerned. I know his family from school, they are still known to me and the whole family [esp the Mum] have a bit of a reputation lets say!

How do I broach the "I don't want you touching drugs of any sort" chat? In my household it's definitely 'no drugs' - I don't agree with "OK to try but don't get addicted" and I don't want to be too lenient. There isn't really any sign of DS16 trying it out, but who knows what he's doing when he isn't at home?

[Sadik]

Firstly, I should say I've only got a much younger teenager (13), so it's not really the same thing. But, I do try to talk about drugs already, as lots of people take them round here, and you can assume that at any party there's a fair possibility there will be (adult) people smoking weed/taking MDMA/coke/mushrooms etc.
I tend to talk about the harm that I've seen drugs do - people who've ended up with mental health problems most likely as a result of cannabis (making the point that we don't know which way causation runs - but do you want to take the risk), acid casualties etc. I get the "Muuuuum . . . of course I wouldn't" line (as I do when I re-inforce no trying alcohol, don't be tempted to follow even if your older friend is trying some, 13 is much, much too young etc) but I still think it's important to put your messages across.
Very interested to know what others say and do!

[MajesticWhine]

Don't have any answers but I am thinking about this problem too. My teenagers are a bit younger 13 and 15 but I am really worried because drug use seems to be rife in their friendship groups. I have warned them about the mental health risks that come with cannabis, and have said that people who get really into it tend to become really boring. But honestly, I don't think that is enough to put off the youngest one, who is very impressionable and immature. I just hope she doesn't manage to get hold of any. But I am going to try and bring it up in conversation a bit more to try and get my message across.

[MrsRossPoldark]

So far, he seems OK. I have been gentle and just let him know that he needs to be careful and to pull back if the others seem to be going off in directions he isn't comfortable with, or knows could land him in trouble. I have told him I trust him to do the right thing. Hopefully, by telling him that I do trust his judgement [even if, inside, I'm not so sure], he might come to me if he needs advice?

[BabyGanoush]

I am not sure about saying 'I trust you" if you don't actually trust them, as they'd see throughout that?

As he is 16, I am sure you have had regular chats about drugs already? What does he say about it? What's his attitude?