Think dd has mental health problems. How do I help her?

[Onamissionfor2015]

Sorry this will probably be garbled and I'm not wanting to give to many details incase it's recognised by how do I go about getting her help? She's 14. Always been anxious and struggled with making/keeping friends but it's only getting worse.

She can't be with more than one friend at once, is convinced she is always left out if there is more than one person present. Always convinced nobody likes her and talks about her behind her back. Will have a emotional breakdown if we are out for the day and she notices two friends from home are doing something on facebook together, doesn't make a effort with new people just tags along with people she's known for years then seems to make everyone's night miserable by not talking then blowing up once home as she feels once again no one likes her and she was getting left out etc

We've always had problems, I remember walking down to school at break time to make sure she wasn't left out all the time in year 1 and seeing her playing with people but when she came out school she would tell me she sat alone and once I explained I'd seen her she'd start crying and say the people were made to play with her but really don't like her.

We've had instances of her biting herself when younger and trying to blame it on someone else to the teacher.

Now she's older she has started trying to fake panic attacks in front of people for attention if she feels they are talking to ther people too much.

She had tried scratching herself to make herself bleed in front of another friend a few weeks ago when the friend was talking to someone else (friend came and told me as she was worried)

I'm at my wits end now. She's a lovely beautiful funny girl who is so gentle and caring but her constant need for attention from everyone and getting into such a state of other people are friends with more than her is getting worse. I'm starting to worry so much about how she can ever fork relationships in the future in the work place or with boys when she is always so convinced that everyone hates her and wants to leave her out all the time.

What do I do? Do I make an appointment at my gp or tackle this another way. I really am lost with what to do with her now. She's just come in upset again as the girl she was playing with has asked a new girl in the street to join them and dd is Genuinly upset as she feels this means the original friend is going to leave her out.

I hope I've not made it sound like she's being a spilt princess because it's not that, these feelings are genuine to get and I don't know how to help her.

[mollymai41]

My DD very similar started a thread a few days ago. Others can't deal with the intensity of it and neither can she but she continues over and over again.

Its very socially immature but no idea how to change the behaviour I'm forever talking about social etiquette, reminding her how to speak to people with respect and avoid confrontations she listens but doesn't do. She sees camhs and has done for three years with no improvement in fact the opposite. As others mature she doesn't and her issues become more obvious.

[Onamissionfor2015]

Yes molly, very immature is something I would agree with.

Other people are moving on in life and making new friendships as they grow and mature yet dd just seems so lost and confused with it all.

Honestly she would only be happy if she had one friend that did everything with her and never spoke to anyone else apart from dd. Real life isn't like that though and I hate seeing the states she gets herself in over it all. At the same time though I wonder how long the friends she does have will put up with all this for

How did you get i tough with cahms?

[mollymai41]

Through a school and GP referral. Dd is a concern in other ways to but friendships seem to fuel all her behaviour. She has honeymoon periods where they adore one another. It's all very OTT "love you my baby" etc all over social media. Then they get sick to death of one another and either DD or her best friend go and find another best friend but with loads of dramas and tears. My sympathy is wearing thin this evening . As she doesn't listen will do it all again usually every 3-6 months all shit hits the fan but about twice a week there's minor drama!

[fatbelly12]

There will be better qualified people along to advise I am sure Onamission, but, having been through recent mental health issues with my eighteen year old son all I can say is try to seek help/guidance from yr GP first. When it seems to be just your family dealing with a 'problem' it becomes insurmountable, and mental health versus physical health is an issue we never expect to share with friends (which is wrong, however the stigma is still exists). At least sharing it with a professional helped us talk about the problem and better support our son. Take care or yourself too - we often forget that bit...