Rent a room for a 16 yo

[Guisette]

My 16 year old son is unwilling to live with my partner and I. (I divorced his father a while back, and he's not willing to accept me with another man). I understand that to get any kind of assistance from social services, it would be a long, drawn-out, agonising process.

I have tried to call local letting agencies about renting a tiny studio apartment, but even with me paying the rent and as the guarantor, they would not accept a 16 year old as the tenant.

His father lives in the United States but my son is culturally British. He desperately wants to do his GCSE's (he'd be going into Y11) in the autumn, but I am running out of options. Does anyone have any suggestions?

At 16, I know that he does not need a private fostering arrangement, and I would happily rent him a (reasonably priced) room in W6 or W4 or the general area, with me still parenting him and checking in on a regular basis. Welcome any thoughts that anyone has. :(

Thanks.

[SuperFlyHigh]

why don't you see if one of his friends parents has a spare room in their house? of course then this would be with the parents having their own house rules but effectively treating your son as a lodger.

[SuperFlyHigh]

pay as you would for a room too but ensure that they do not parent him.

[Floralnomad]

My suggestion would be that you live with your son for a few more years and just spend some nights at your partners place.

[AnyFucker]

how long have you been with your partner ?

[BareGrylls]

You are choosing a new partner over your 16 year old son who is at a very tricky stage of growing up?
He should be your priority for at least another 2 or 3 years.
Wind up?

[Allthebestnamesaregone]

Live with your son til he's completed his A levels.

[AmandaTanen]

I would probably put my child first and put off living with your partner until your son moves out.

[MrsLeighHalfpenny]

We love kids, especially teenagers, and I'd be happy to rent you a room, but I live too far away (Wiltshire).

However, it doesn't seem fair to your son to prioritise your boyfriend over him. My kids would always come first.

[titchy]

Put him into care then you won't even have to parent him!

[glenthebattleostrich]

Agree with the others, if you and your partner are going to be together for the foreseeable, what difference does a couple of years make? You can wait for your son to finish in school then move in with your partner.

[AnyFucker]

come on op, what's the deal with your partner ?

[usualsuspect333]

You would chuck your 16 year old son out so you could live with your partner?

[MyballsareSandy]

surely he's only 15 now if he's going into year 11 in Sept.

I agree with the others saying put him first for a couple more years then you can do what you want.

[Georgethesecond]

He must be fifteen at the moment? He will need a lot of support to get through his GCSEs. I think either he lodges with a friend's family as a paying lodger or you don't live with the new bloke for a couple more years, tbh.

[Behooven]

I think your child should be your priority and you are selfish.

[FortyCoats]

Finding it hard to believe this is a real decision for you. I'd have thought it was a no-brainer to keep your son at home so he can finish his education.

Maybe then he'll fuck off to the U.S. and make a wonderful life and leave you to enjoy your more important relationship.

Hope it all works out for him.

[ProjectPerfect]

He's too young to live alone - yes yes I know its legal, some DC have to but honestly how could you?!

[Onedayinthesun]

Your son has not finished his basic education yet, I don't understand why he / you would be happy for him to have his own place? Can you explain more about the relationship he has with you and how long he has known your new partner?
On the brief detail you have given would the best solution not be to keep your son in his home and move your partner in at a later stage so as not to upset his education, 15 and 16 are such impressionable ages.

[PaintedTshirt]

What a shame that he is so keen to finish his exams! Otherwise you could've just shipped him off to the US now and not had all this bother.

What a pita for you and your new DP.

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

Assuming this is not some wind up:

Put off living with your partner for three more years until your son has left school and have your son live with you. He has had enough to cope with over the years - a father going off to the States and now you appearing to choose your new partner over him.

Put your son above your partner - these are really tricky years for a teenage boy. He needs you. Why does he not like the new partner.... that should ring an alarm bell or two....

[usualsuspect333]

There have been some odd threads on MN over the last few days.

[gymboywalton]

don't live with your partner

your child needs to live with you

16 is not an adult

i am looking at my kid now lying on the sofa watching tv-he's the same age as your son and could no more live by himself than fly to the moon!

[milkmilklemonade12]

Why can't your partner live in the rented room and he just come over on weekends? Why has your child got to move out?

[SuperFlyHigh]

actually before people say this does not happen... i think an acquaintance of mine did this with her son (but he was 16 or 17) - she is French, had had 2 children here (the 16/17 year old and another DC with her new partner) - both she and her partner wanted to move back to France but leave her son in UK.

they had a property she'd bought in UK which she transferred or put in trust for her son and he was being educated (college?) here, he didn't want to move to France and I don't think his relationship with his mum's new partner was great. But he was slightly older than 15/16. I don't know if it worked out but I think it did. he was very good at standing on his own 2 feet though

[slippersmum]

I know you said he is unwilling to live with you both but could you expand on that. It can take dcs a long time to accept another person into their lives. What are his issues with him? What does your dp think of the situation?