I suggested GPs when she said she had been sad for a long period of time and she point blank refused. She likes to be in control and has never been one for the doctors. I don't want to force her in case it damages her relationship with me. I know that might sound a bit controlling from my end, but right now, I'm what she's got. Friends at school? Not so much. I worry that if I do the wrong thing now and lose her trust, I won't be able to influence her positively or have any input to her moods, etc. She has since said that she feels better now, but I've told her that if she struggles again, she needs to go to the doctors and get sorted out properly.
We've talked about mental health a lot. I made sure on Mental Health Awareness day a while back that the topic was broached over our evening meal. I talked about how common it is...how sad it is that there isn't more support for children. How we all struggle at some point during our lives. I try to normalise it. Make it so that she isn't afraid to talk about it. And I've stressed that we all need an outlet for it.
A few days later, I told her that if she was ever struggling she should talk to someone at school. She says school have no counsellors, no one she can go to. I talked about anonymous, web-based services and I said that she could talk to me as a last resort...or that her friends at school might help. She's a sensible girl in a lot of ways and doesn't always do what we want her to do, but she does always give things a lot of thought. In a way that's half the problem. Too deep!
She wouldn't go to a church choir shady. I'm half convinced I gave birth to the antichrist as she's insanely anti-religion. I used to have a very deep faith, though I'm what you'd term a lapsed Christian of late, so I find it quite hard to take her stance, but she's like her dad but a teenager too. Dreadful combo! Lol.
Her music is less Leonard Cohen, more Pierce the Veil and My Chemical Romance. Her latest favourite is Twenty One Pilots (and you have to spell out the numbers or you're not doing it right!) and every song they sing says something about suicide. When I've talked to her about this, she says her music is the only thing that makes life worth living. A band called All Time Low feature a lot too and their lead singer is a big advocate in terms of encouraging young girls NOT to self harm. His big slogan is 'wrists are for bands, not cutting'. I take solace in the fact that most of her bands have been depressed but have recovered and talk/sing as much about the recovery side as they do about the depression side.
I also think that there's a catharsis, sometimes, listening to the dark stuff. Maybe it's in the blood. I'm sure it's not anything abnormal, as such, it's just that my cheerful, laughing girl has turned into an anxious, sad little teen.
I think I'll just keep pointing out her good points. When she says she has no friends, I always point out that so many people get on with her. She just hasn't found that special friend yet. And that means that person is out there waiting for her somewhere. Or even better...lots of those kind of people are out there. I also point out the successes when she talks about failure, so when she says she's awkward, I point out how assertive she is when she collars rock singers at gigs for photos. Insanely assertive then, she is!
Deep down I think she'll be o.k. I watch out for signs, though and am ready, in case things get worse. She's becoming an adult and I'm trying so hard to embrace the young woman she's become. It's just a bit hard at times letting go of the girl she used to be. But I'm guessing that's parenting?!
Thanks again for the help.