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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

I feel so uncool !

15 replies

Jul1009 · 16/05/2015 21:30

Wondering if I'm being weird or not but 17 yr old ds friends mums all seem to be so stylish and cool. Most of them have bleach blonde blonde hair, wearing nice clothes and drive white range rovers whilst I am wearing m&s clothes and driving a fiat ! Also I have noticed many of them let their children drink whilst I amnt so happy with that idea..I am 48 by the way.
Have any of you felt this way before ?

OP posts:
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2catsfighting · 16/05/2015 22:30

No. I don't know any mums of teens with beach blond hair. And I bet the ones you know are trying to hide the grey that comes with being a teen parent.
And I think you are mature enough to know that alcohol and teens is not a good mix.

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SanityClause · 16/05/2015 22:37

I know a lot of glamorous parents of teens, and a lot of frumpy ones. I try to be reasonably well groomed, but I can't really manage glamorous. Whether they are frumpy or glamorous is not really important to me. If I like them, it's not because of their dress sense.

I do think that teens will probably start to drink, so you need to accept that, a bit.

My friend recently had a party for her 16yo where she allowed two bottles of beer or alcopop per guest. They almost all tried to smuggle in spirits, but she cleverly took all their bags as they walked in, and locked them up in her hall "to keep them safe".

She is very glamorous, come to think of it.

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BackforGood · 16/05/2015 23:38

I'm not sure 'having bleach blonde hair, wearing nice clothes and driving white range rovers' would make anyone "cool" in anyone's eyes.... Hmm

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Travelledtheworld · 17/05/2015 00:09

My kids school seems to be full of parents with Range Rovers, BNW's, Mercs etc but most of them just look exhausted and depressed.
What matters is that you are friendly and kind and able to have a laugh with your teens. If you try to be cool you will just be deemed to be embarrassing.
Smile.

My sons school friends once said to him " your Mum is legend", which I though was the ultimate accolade. I am way over 50 btw.

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HootOnTheBeach · 17/05/2015 00:44

Sorry, bleached blonde hair and white range rovers as a combo sound more tacky than cool.

If you don't like your M&S clothes go to other shops! If you like how you look then carry on.

Also remember that as a parent it is your responsibility to look after your children, not be their friend. So whilst you might win a 'cool mum' sticker for allowing alcohol for underage kids you will be doing that at the expense of their well-being. I don't think that's a good or cool trade-off.

I think as teenagers we all had friends whose parents shared booze/joints with their kids and friends. It was great at the time but looking back I am horrified that an adult thought it was ok to mix up vodka and orange juice and shove it into a 15 year old's hand as they walked in through the door Hmm

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SanityClause · 17/05/2015 07:41

Travelled, DD2 is 14, and one of her friends said I was bae. Now, that is the ultimate accolade!

FWIW, I do not have bleached blonde hair, and I couldn't think of anything tackier than do not drive a white Range Rover. I had not given her any alcohol, drugs etc, or indeed, anything stronger than a diet coke.

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Mostlyjustaluker · 17/05/2015 07:46

No teenager thinks their own parent is cool. Well some of kids I have worked with, who had very limited contact due to ss involvement, though their parents were cool. If you want to be a good parent you can't be cool. IMO cool is being good without trying and who wants to to be the parent who does not try?

If you are unhappy with yourself then that is a separate issue.

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MuttonCadet · 17/05/2015 07:46

I have highlights and a land rover, I'm definitely not cool (nor do I condone teens drinking).

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LynetteScavo · 17/05/2015 09:44

You'd be laughed out of my sons school car park with a white Range Rover and bleached blond hair....it's all Boden, those Swedish clogs which are popular on MN, and WV camper vans or anything you can stick a surf board on and a lot of kids in...and crazy bushy wind swept hair. We live live as far from the sea as you can get in the UK. Confused

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rogueantimatter · 17/05/2015 16:19

I have noticeably greying hair. DD apparently liked my trespass sweatshirt style top that I wear with jeans as she thinks it makes me look like a typical mum from [our local area] when I wear it with jeans. And she likes my ancient (acrylic) very colourful cardigan/jacket-thing as she thinks it looks indie. At the moment I'm wearing a M+S jumper, fringed scarf from ebay, scruffy black straight-leg chinos and trainers.

I'd like to wear white stuff, fatface etc but I don't have much as it's too many dollas, not all that good quality and wrap dresses don't suit me.

I never ever paint my nails and rarely wear make up - life's too short IMO I value myself too much to waste my precious time and money on trying to look ten or twenty years younger. I used to notice that some of the yummy mummies kept their distance at the primary school gates - and I genuinely don't give a stuff.

The time I made most effort was when I was having treatment for cancer. I took pleasure in sitting in the chemo chair with my new boots, patterned tights and little skirts - the thought of feeling blurrgh with yuk skin, cracked lips etc and looking like a slob was unappealing.

But I'm quite liberal when it comes to letting teenagers have one or two drinks and once they're 17 in their final year of school I'm happy to let them practice going to pubs, parties etc knowing they're with friends I know and coming home afterwards and staying in contact. But I always check with other parents what they allow.

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ShebaQueen · 17/05/2015 16:24

Even David Beckham's teenage son finds him embarrassing! I am not cool at all, buy my clothes from lots of different places and although I try to look well groomed I am definitely not glamorous.

Bet your 17 year old loves you just as you are.

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rogueantimatter · 17/05/2015 20:17

My DC are a bit judgmental about people who make a huge amount of effort over their appearance.

Big vehicles are annoying if you're trying to park beside one in a small space.

I don't understand how glamorous people manage - don't they have to wash floors and stuff?

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Mrsjayy · 17/05/2015 20:20

Im the mum of a 17y r im not cool i wear fleece jumpers and comfy shoes Grin

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Mrsjayy · 17/05/2015 20:26

I didnt allowregular drinking either dd said to me earlier oh emma (not real name) has falrn out with her mum again( emmas mum is a cool mum ) Dd said id hate to be always arguing withyou

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rogueantimatter · 17/05/2015 20:41

Aww - you are cool Mrsjayy. What a nice post.

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