DD turns 14 in 2 weeks.
We have recently moved 200 miles to a little village in the East Midlands and she has settled in well to her new school (Yr9). We moved here with DH job in the army and I hate it. DH has hardly been here since we moved. He is away again right now.
We have been here 3 months now and I still do not know a soul. I have been fairly unwell this year which has hindered my ability and confidence to get out and about alone and as a result I am still not very familiar with my local surroundings. I know the way to my nearest town 7 miles away and kind of know where things are there but not by name. Its a tiny town with very little in it.
So DD has made some lovely friends,most of which live in the little town 7 miles away. They seem lovely but being the age she is I have only met one of the girls once and not any of their parents.
DD reguarly stays late after school to hang out with friends in the little local town and on weekends we drop her off there too. She gets a bus to and from school from our village, but when she stays in town late,I pick her up.
DD has come home today and said her friends want to organise a birthday surprise for her to go into Leicester by train at the weekend and go to the cinema to see a film she has been desperate to see and waiting for release. (I suspect its been phrased like this to twist my arm into letting her go). I have never been to Leicester except when DH drove us through there a few weeks ago enroute elsewhere.
I was only just reaching being OK with travelling by train into what was our very large local city with friends - where we used to live. We had lived there for 3 years and I was very familiar with my surroundings and had friends for back up in case anything went wrong. I also knew a couple of her friends parents very well. It has to be said that due to circumstances - the actual going on the train unaccompanied into our local city never did actually happen, although had we not moved house it would have happend by now and I think I would have been ok with that.
DD is not stupid but she was at a very sheltered boarding school for 3 years until last summer (due to the fact we were supposed to be moving house lots) where I feel she did not get the same chance to be as free and develop her streetwiseness as much as the kids starting in Yr7 at a day school iykwim.
DD is also a nightmare for not answering her phone or responding to texts when out. I dont pester her but I do ask her to touch base if she is out for prolonged periods. An example of this was last weekend we dropped her in little town at mid day with a bag to meet her friend where she was having a sleepover. I asked her to txt me in the evening just to let me know she was at friends house and all was OK. (I dont know the parents at all and only met the child once). DD didnt get intouch and didnt respond to my messages or missed calls.
Do I let her go??
Tbh - I am not comfortable with letting her go but worry I am being too overprotective. Part of the reason we removed her from BS was to allow her to become streetwise (and because we supposedly shouldnt have been moving house again - but we did).
I did have plans for the cinema at the weekend and suggested a sleepover here (so I could at least put a few faces to the names of her new friends) as birthday treat but there is 7 or 8 of them going and my car only seats 5 (including me). I have no idea where the cinemas around here are but was hoping to drive to an out of town one - dump the kids and see a film myself or go for coffee and then take them to lunch or give them money for lunch and meet them later. This idea has been poo pooed!
Advice and opinions. Please be kind. This dilemma has actually quite upset me as I am so low about living here at the moment, being lonely and very homesick.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
Should I let daughter do this? Help please teen mums.
33 replies
ApronStrings101 · 11/05/2015 17:04
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.