repairing a damaged relationship

[nicjane37]

i want to repair a damaged relationship with my 18 yr old son. For the last 5 years he has lived with his dad. When my son left, mentally we were rock bottom. I have since worked (really) hard with docs,counselling and depression groups to build me back up. My son is really gifted and really funny,but angry with me too. Which I fully understand. I message him occasionally but with no response. His dad doesn't tell me much about him either. I would like to know whether I can move forward from messaging or just wait for a reply. I have read lots of articles that contradict each other, so I thought mumsnet is a real life place to get advice.

[nequidnimis]

I don't have any personal experience, and expect someone more helpful will be along soon, but my gut feeling is that a heartfelt letter may appear more sincere and meaningful than a text or email.

Obviously I don't know how much making up you have to do, but do you have the sort of relationship with your ex that would allow you to approach him to get a feel for your DS's current thinking about you, and/or to mediate?

[cypress35]

I just have to stop doing the things which annoy him. Which is extremely hard work.