Social services

[6493sarahw]

I really need some advice, my 11 year old daughter has contacted childline on 4 occasions accusing myself of hitting her and my husband of punching her! This is completely untrue, I came home from dropping my 17 year old son off and my daughter had let social services in, my mother (who I don't have the best relationship with) was here. Social services made it very clear that they could not say my daughter was safe at our house and that she had to go and stay with my mum. This is our worst nightmare and we are both struggling to understand why my daughter has done this, she seems perfectly happy, there are 'normal' arguments which I've put down to her age? Social services are now going to her schools tomorrow and then meeting with us late afternoon, I am worried sick about the outcome of this and I am also very concerned as I don't feel my daughter is in the right place staying with my mum.

[6493sarahw]

My mums partner is a big drinker it has been suggested that he has a problem with alcohol, I have almost no relationship with my mum although very close to my dad, I worry that my mum will not do me any 'favours' so to speak and that she will incourage my daughter to do what my mum wants rather than what my daughter wants. My mum also has little contact with my children (her choice) and I think part of what has happened is because my daughter would like to see more of her and she is jealous of the amount of time my mum spends with other grandchildren.

[Redwineplease42]

So that was SS first visit? Thats very unusual unless significant harm !

[6493sarahw]

They were here alone for 20 mins before my mum got here and I arrived about half hour later after a phone call from a neighbour saying something was happening at the house. My daughter has a photo on her phone of a bruise on her leg which she says my husband done with a punch, we have since looked through her phone and we believe the bruise was from while she was out playing on a scare board and on a trampoline. It was ss first visit they said as it was Friday and they don't work the weekend she couldn't stay at home. There are no bruises on my daughter now and she has since said the bruise was from last November even though the date on photo is from last week. I'm also wondering if ss were right to enter my home without informing myself or my husband if neighbours hadn't informed me would they have just removed my daughter without my knowledge?

[ashtrayheart]

Does your daughter want to stay with your mum? Are Camhs involved at all?
I don't think ss can make you do anything without a court order, but if your daughter actually wants to go and stay with her you might have more difficulty. www.frg.org.uk you could have a look at the family rights group they have a helpline number.

[maccie]

OP did you sign any paperwork to authorise your DD staying with your mum ?

[Redwineplease42]

Oh dear you poor thing. You've done nothing wrong so try not to panic. Once the weekends passed they will speak to your GP , DCs school and other DCs and figure out your DD is lying . What a betrayal from her and very spiteful this sounds pretty awful but hopefully she will get a bloody bollocking for wasting time when they've figured it out.

[6493sarahw]

My daughter does want to live with my mum, what are Camhs? I have spoke to a helpline,I didn't sign any paperwork to authorise her staying with my mum. The way I'm seeing things right now, which admittedly in not logically is that even though my mum has said she can't stay with her she is making no effort to talk to us in fact she is taking my daughter out and treating her to things. My husband and son are feeling pretty much the same as me shocked and upset. She has just changed schools due to problems with friends and I know she found it hard to settle but has only been there a term and she seems happy there even though I feel she is bothering with the wrong sort of girls. This has been such a hard weekend where I have considered all possibilities, even wishing I could escape for it all, my concern now is that my daughter is never going to tell the truth and I'm going to loose her.

[6493sarahw]

Ah ok I'll have a look at Camhs online now, I have a conversation with my mum who has explained to my daughter that she can tell people if what she's said is a lie or an exaggeration of the truth and she won't be in any trouble my mum has said she looks like she is thinking about it she's not saying it's true but not saying it's not, the only reason she is giving my mum for not wanting to come home is that no one likes her here? Amongst all the other emotions I'm going through my only concern is my daughter and hopefully, maybe even at my request they will refer her to someone to help. Thank you to everyone for your advice feeling a little more optimistic about tomorrow and hopefully she will be home soon.

[Slippersmum]

I am a social worker. This is an informal arrangement that's been set up to keep her within the family whilst they look into things. Do try not to worry as I am sure your dd will tell the truth and hopefully things will settle down. It is a worry she has made this up. As everyone has said just be open tomorrow. If she has said she has been hit they will be conducting a s47 investigation and will be completing an initial assessment so they will talk to you, to her, education and health to try and get a full picture of her life. Good luck and let us know how it goes x

[Redwineplease42]

How did you get on? x