13 year old deleting her texts

[dannymaherx1]

Firstly, my daughter is a normal, very lovable, happy person. It seems she has recently become interested in a boy, after years of spitting vile at the mere mention of boys! suddenly she is very secretive about this and doesnt want to talk about it to me. Sounds like it is all very basic and fun which is fine but how do I know the person she is txting all the time is actually the boy in her class and not someone prentening to be him. She has deleted all her recent txts which I guess is to ensure I dont see them but it is very worrying about what could be going on rather than just a simple crush on a boy. Not sure what to do about the txt issue. Should I be able to see them or actually how do I keep my daughter safe in this digital age?

[PamBagnallsGotACollage]

I would think there is less concern with texting than online contact. I'm guessing they swapped numbers so she will know it's his number on her phone.

[cdtaylornats]

If its a boy in her class they've probably been texting each other within sight and sound of each other.

[bereal7]

Why would to u want to aww her texts? no wonder she deletes them.

[bereal7]

See

[feria03]

Don't tell her why you deleted your messages it will only prove that you are checking her phone. The best thing to do is having a chat with her and talk about boys in general, give her some advices what to do if this or that happen. You have to make her feel comfortable and I'm sure she will talk about that boy.

[BackforGood]

Surely if it's someone from school, then she will know it's him as she swapped numbers with him, and also they will be talking about things / people / places / lessons they both know / have been to / have been in / etc.

You keep someone safe by talking to them about "What would you do if..."s and "This happened to my colleagues dd, have you ever heard of this sort of thing happening" type conversations, not reading someone else's private texts!!

[ImperialBlether]

This is the point where "a friend at work has a daughter who..." Choose someone she's heard of but doesn't know well enough to check things out. This friend's daughter has friends who've done stupid things - sending nude photos to boyfriends, walking down alleys at night, agreeing to go too far with boys, shoplifting make up, etc etc. Don't mention it too often but let each one be a cautionary tale.

This worked well for me as my friend at work had a daughter who was a bit older than my daughter, who remembered her as a very cool girl. They never met up, so I was able to attribute many, many dodgy things to this girl's friends without fear of retribution!

[kissedbyamoonbeammyarse]

She is 13. Presumably you pay the bills. You are responsible for her welfare. Take her phone off her for a week. Inform her if she deletes any again she can have a phone when she can be trusted. She isn't deleting for any other reason than she is texting inappropriately. Also, invite the boy round for tea.
Don't understand all this pussy footing around. She could easily have obtained the number from an adult. She goes online? and could have been given it then.

[YippeeTeenager]

Confiscating her phone just because she wants a bit of privacy is way too harsh. You need to encourage her to talk to you over the next few years so best to tell her that you noticed she's been deleting them, that she doesn't need to hide things from you and that you'll always be there to listen if she wants to talk things over. Keep lines of communication wide open and don't punish her for growing up, otherwise she'll shut you out and that's far more dangerous.

[Gymbob]

13 is too young to allow her free reign. mine got herself into terrible trouble at 13. after that she wasn't allowed to delete history or texts, and lost her privileges more than once for doing just that.

if she's deleting texts she doesn't want you to see then she's hiding something from you.