Unhappy friend

[geflovesmnet]

My DD is very preoccupied recently. After many arguments about how distant she is, she finally opened up to me about her friend who is constantly messaging her about relationship issues, depression, self harming and everything else! DD is getting very stressed about her friend's issues as she is constantly the listening ear to them. She wants to help but she feels like a therapist and is being impacted greatly by this-help?! Will DD get the same kinds of emotions? How does she tell her friend she cant continue being a personal counsellor?
Thanks everyone your help would be much appreciated

[nequidnimis]

How old is your dd, and how long have they been friends?

It is normal to support friends through difficult times I think, and one day your Dd may need support.

Having said that, if your dd isn't able to help, is overwhelmed by the big issues or if it is impacting her negatively then she does need to step back.

Could she talk to someone at school - the nurse or a teacher - to ensure that her friend receives help for the serious issues?

Beyond that can she just make herself less available until her friend gets the message? Stay off social media or switch her phone off?not answer messages immediately? Tell her friend how stressful she is finding the situation?

I would be proud of her, and want her to be a good friend, but not if it was impacting her own emotional health.

[anthropology]

gefloves. there is some helpful advice on Young minds website about what to say as family and friends and you can support your own DD by sharing this website. .

If she is worried about her friend the best thing would be, with your support to Encourage her friend to get help asap. Urge her to talk to a parent, teacher, or other adult . It might be scary for her to admit that there is a problem. so would your DD offer to go along for support ?. If your DD is worried about this and it is a school friend, you could let also the school know in confidence as they will have dealt with this before.

Depression is not contagious, but its understandable your DD feels worried about the pressure, but if she has been distant, its also maybe worth checking with school if there is anything else going on with her. She should also be able to speak to a school counsellor about how to deal with her friends problems...

If you can steer a route of encouraging her friend to seek help, explain with the help of YOung minds, that many teens go through difficult times, but with the right support and professional treatment things get better , she can still be a friend who can be supportive as her friend is getting that support /treatment.

Maybe one way to view this is how would you like your daughters friends to be if she was the one depressed ? would you want them to switch their phones off without explanation. ? I hope she can encourage her to get some help.