Help - 15yr old sister is sleeping around :(

[nimbs]

Hi - my sister is only 15 and has been having sex for some time. She does have a long termish boyfriend of about 7 months and I know that they have been having sex, which is illegal I know but she doesn't seem to care, she is going to be 16 in a weeks time. However they have been having a bit of a bad patch, and she went to a party, got drunk and had sex with some other guy she just met Of course I'm worried about the normal implications of this - ie std's/unwanted pregnancies etc but also the emotional problems this may bring. As I am not mum she tells me more things -but aside from me telling her not to do this - I could do with some advice as how to best approach the subject without it seeming that I am nagging her. any help much appreciated - She is v. good looking has fab figure and is intelligent so I really want her to realise that there is so much more to life than wasting it like this - ie getting drunk and shagging random men. And at 15 she is too young for this anyway. She is also v. popular so I don't think it's to increase popularity but don't know why she is doing this. Please help.

thanks

[justaphase]

Good looking inteligent girls sometimes have surprisingly low self esteam...

The only thing that I can think of which might help is to shock her out of it.

Ask her if she wants to be seen as a slut.

Explain to her that she will get a lot of attention but no respect and boys will discuss her sexual talents behind her back.

[theUrbanDryad]

show her the "oh my god my 14 year old DD is pregnant" thread on here!

[bigfatred]

she probably doesn't even know why she does it. think it's hard when girls have sex young because they seem to forget that because they've said yes once doesn't mean they can't ever say no. would she have done it with this lad if she hadn't been drinking? maybe you should have a full and frank with her - chances are the sex she's having is not very good (and if it's not 'safe' then it can't be because of the worry). shock may work as well, gross pictures of the effects of stds and the finer details of an internal - may be enough tomake her think again??? she's lucky to have an older sister like you that she can talk to.

[webcrone]

Deal with the practicalities first and make sure she's fully informed about contraception. Go with her to Dr if you have to.

[Tortington]

take her to family planning let them talk to her. but do take her.

focus on a goal. GCSEs? are those attainable - or something else.

can you take a class with her - like pottery or art or something?

[BATtymumma]

i think that first things first you need to sort out adequate contraception. not justthe pill but also making sure she fully understands about condoms and how to correctly apply them.

then you need to speak with her, like an adult.
there is little you can say that will stop her having sex, especially if she has been for a while now.

but what you can do is to try and show her why its not a good idea to be sleeping with boys she has just met.

it is bound to be difficult but i think if yu are open about your own sexual experiances and any choices you may have made that you later regret it may help to show her that its not easy to get it right first time.

I have worked with many teenage girls and have had to do group discussions on sexual health with a room of 10 girls. some as young as 13 were regularly having sex...its frightening.

justaphase has said precisly what i would have said....just because outwardly she seems to be happy and content doesn't mean she really feels all that great about herself.

don't judge her, treat her like an adult and dont go down the "its illegal" route...it really doesn't make much of a differance im afraid.
its good that although she is having sex she has a good enough relationship with her family that she can discuss this with you. make sure youdont spoil that relationship.

[nimbs]

thanks for the advice - am hoping that shock tactics may work - i don't want to jeopardise the relationship that i have with her - hence why i needed mn! thanks again