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My special holiday is falling apart

11 replies

dotnetmum · 19/01/2015 11:50

I was planning a special Mum and daughter holiday to China this summer. DD 18 has been taking chinese lessons for years, and I have always wanted to go. I managed to convince DH to let us go ourselves as he is not too keen anyway, but I feel a bit bad about leaving DS 16 behind. At first DS was not bothered at all, but now he has changed his mind and says he would like to come along as well.
I am fine with it, but when I told DD that DS is coming as well, she completely flipped out. She says DS will be complaining and spoiling our holiday etc. DS does have a bad record of being trouble on holidays in the past but that was a beach holiday, which he didn't really like. He ended up sitting in his room a lot. I don't have the heart to forbid him from coming with us on our China tour, but my daughter is angry and disappointed that it is not just the two of us. And I am worried that if they are going to argue the whole time then it will spoil this special holiday.
What to do, Advice please?

OP posts:

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kelda · 19/01/2015 11:52

Possible options:

Your dh and ds go on a holiday together
You tell your ds that you will take him on a special holiday when he is 18.

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Marshy · 19/01/2015 11:53

Can dh take ds somewhere leaving you and dd to enjoy your original plan?

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Slowcommotion · 19/01/2015 11:54

Agree with Kelda

Think this would be nicer as special one-on-one mother-daughter time before your dd leaves home!

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AnyFucker · 19/01/2015 11:55

I would stick with your original plan.

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Unexpected · 19/01/2015 12:18

Stick with the original plan. Tell him he gets to go somewhere with you when he is 18 too.

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titchy · 19/01/2015 12:46

agree stick to original plan. Tell ds it would be a shame if he used his one chance of going to a destination of his dreams going somewhere he wasn't that bothered about and you'd far rather he picked somewhere he'd always loved to go to for his special holiday.

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Christelle2207 · 19/01/2015 12:51

Tell him no. Send him on a boys hol with his dad or promise him his own trip when he is 18.

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Travelledtheworld · 19/01/2015 13:53

Stick to the original plan but ask your son to come up with some ideas and some sort of plan ( Ideally with costs estimates) for his own adventure with you.

Have a great time. I went to China in 1984 and feel very privileged to have visited when it was still a relatively closed country. Everyone was very friendly and it was fascinating.

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bigTillyMint · 19/01/2015 13:59

I would stick to the original plan and do what Kelda suggests. Your DD has been looking forward to this and it should be a special time for you both. Of course you can have a special time with your DS when he gets to the same age.

I am actually taking DD away for a special holiday in October and would be very happy to do similar with DS when he is the same age, or for DH to do similar with him.

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Cerisier · 19/01/2015 14:15

Another vote for sticking to your original plan. It isn't fair on DD to change the arrangements.

I took DD1 to Beijing last year and we had a fantastic time. DH took DD2 walking up mountains as that was more their cup of tea. We often split up for breaks or part of breaks so that everyone gets to do what they want.

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dotnetmum · 19/01/2015 16:16

Wow, this is unanimous!
I don't know why I never thought of a separate holiday with DS! Of course that would be the best way to do it, and no guilty feeling. Now that I know what I need to do, I just have to turn it around with a bit of diplomacy!
Thanks for all your quick replies.