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Teenagers

setting jobs to be done

6 replies

Mark648 · 28/09/2014 03:17

my wife will set a task to be done by our sons. which upon completion will get a reward. But when the job is done she asks them to do more before the reward comes.
My wife is totally unwilling to discuss the situation.
So the sons are very upset with her. This has gone on for several years.

There is little in this life that is reliable. But 'my word is my bond' should work. And if something does not work then at least being able to have a discussion is necessary where at least each persons view is heard, and then each person could reflect on the situation. And in time a change happens.

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Heyho111 · 28/09/2014 06:46

Your wife is enjoying having power and control over your sons. This could backfire as they get older. They will begin to really dislike her for it and not trust her.
You need to sit her down and explain that she will loose a proper relationship with them.
Perhaps when they've done a chore and she says do more , you intervene - say no and give them their reward. Explain to her that they have completed their end of the bargin and now it's their payment.

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DieselSpillages · 28/09/2014 07:16

They should jot down the terms and conditions before they do the job and get her to sign it !

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LastingLight · 28/09/2014 14:59

Your wife is being totally unfair and will ruin her relationship with her sons.

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Mark648 · 30/09/2014 02:56

I asked about the signing for the job option but I was told by my son that this would not work.
Myself I'd like the boys to suggest and do jobs without having to be prompted.
Even if I don't get solutions, its good to get this stuff out of me. I cannot talk about this stuff with my wife. She's a smart person with lots of talents.
Thank you.

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purplemurple1 · 30/09/2014 04:23

Could you sit down as a family let the boys propose their weekly / monthly job Rota and reward and then you and your wife come back with what you think is fair. Then stick to this every week / month. That way it doesn't need to be discussed everytime if it's not on the list it isn't mandatory for getting your allowance.

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Mark648 · 01/10/2014 00:32

I'll try this. I'm sure I've tried this before. My sons just do not trust mummy, I don't know how to get them to try again. I'm going to have to figure out some motivational skills.
Thank you all for your answers.