Feel like i've done the wrong thing now.

[HelpMeGetOutOfHere]

DS1 is 17 and so are most of his friends, they go to a youth group once a week. Anyway one of his friends is dating a girl the same age. I overheard a conversation between the boys that the girlfriend was saying that a boy from a local gypsy community had raped her. this was before ds1's friend and she got together.

Apparently the accused boy has said that its not true and that he is going to beat up the boyfriend and anyone else who is spreading the rumour.

I spoke to ds1 about it and he says that the girlfriend is well known for spreading rumours and being vindictive and that he didn't want to get involved and that he believed the boy not the girlfriend. I said that he needs to let her know that if this happened then she needs to seek help and support as she may not feel deeply affected now but may do in the future, and also that if its not true that she really can't go about saying this, especially for a boy from a traveller background who may have enough to contend with stereotype wise let alone with rumours like this.

Its been playing on my mind, so I spoke to a friend who is a youth worker and they advised that I speak to the youth worker at the group that they attend so that he can be aware and speak to people I need be.

I'm now concerned that I've done the wrong thing? I don't know the girl at all. I have facebook messaged her once when looking for my ds, but have never spoken to her face to face I doubt I could even pick her out in a line up.

[ChillySundays]

If she was raped then that is awful and she needs support. If it's not and she has form for lying then the next time it could be your son who is the subject of the allegations.
I would try and find out who to talk to and who is also in a position to speak to the girl

[HelpMeGetOutOfHere]

I have spoken to the youth worker at the group that they attend. wasn't aware that the girls parents work in the same place, so am now concerned that I have done the wrong thing by speaking to him.

In many ways I hope that she is lying as what an awful experience for a young girl (or any person), but then she needs to understand the severity of saying that about someone if its not true.

[despomum41]

i think you did the right thing its a serious accusation which you couldnt ignore if it did happen he should be accountable and if on the other hand she has made it up she needs to be made aware of the concequeses of telling lies that could ruin someone

[Northernparent68]

Advise your son never to be on his own with her

[HelpMeGetOutOfHere]

I feel a bit better now. I know it's the right thing to do. Regardless of her reputation for lying. This is a serious thing to have happened and either way needs investigating. It may be that she's blissfully unaware of all of this. I hope that's the case.

I have warned ds to be careful of what he says and to keep his opinions to himself.

[ChillySundays]

I would also second northern's advice too

[AnyFucker]

Advise your son never to be on his own with her

What the actual fuck ?

[AnyFucker]

Some light reading for you guys

[HelpMeGetOutOfHere]

AnyFucker I haven't said anywhere that I don't believe her. I don't even know and probably won't if she is even aware that this has been said. I have said that i couldn't sit back and do nothing this girl may need some real support and help and I'd hate to think that she wouldn't get it.

The flip side of course if it is a lie is that this is a really serious allegation to throw around and perhaps a talk to youth about not crying rape and the damage that it can do if it is untrue wouldn't hurt either.

[ChillySundays]

I agree with HelpMe.
We don't know if it is true or not. If you had heard rumours that someone stealing you wouldn't leave your purse lying around if they came to your house. And before anyone says I know that is not as bad as rape I am just trying to give an example.
Like I said before I would be telling my DS to be careful but I would also be telling my DD not to be alone with the boy who is accused rape.