16 wanting relationship with 32 year old!

[Spud43]

Advice please!

[PenisesAreNotPink]

How do they know them?

What freedom do they have already?

[VelvetEmbers]

At 15 I had a 25 yo boyfriend. At 17 I had a 30 yo boyfriend. Realised quite quickly myself that the age gap was too big and neither lasted long.

Is the 16 yo girl or boy?

What advice do you want? Nothing like parental horror to strengthen a relationship that would otherwise have withered out. My parents were generally crap about these things but wisely stepped back and said nothing. Helped that they knew both of them and I think DF Had Words with the 25 yo about how old I was.

[gingerhobo48]

When I was 17, I went out with a 32 yr old seperated man.He had an 11 yr old son, looking back now I think "ick" but my mum had recently died and my dad wasn't coping.I was mature, he was immature, but we had nothing in common.He had money and took me away for weekends and out for nice dinners, I suppose my head was turned.It didn't last long (approx 8 mths).I would have loved someone at that time to take an interest in what I was doing.I wouldn't be happy with my daughter wanting a relationship with someone of that age or my son for that matter.

[Flingmoo]

This sounds very wrong... Verging on pedophilia surely?! I worry what kind of man in his 30s would want to date a 16 year old. It's just my opinion but to me that's grossly inappropriate.

[Spud43]

That's entirely how I see it! I just think it's crazy that the law allows this! And I told her that this person is only 4 months off of being a paedophie.

[Theas18]

Where does the power lie here? If this person is anything ( teacher, scout leader, etc) to the teen then I believe it can still be an abusive relationship and grooming may be involved.

Tricky though as child is 16 ( just) and presumably not SEN?

[PenisesAreNotPink]

No, paedophilia is attraction to pre pubescent children.

He has an inappropriate attraction and you're going to have to keep her nice and busy to not give her much time with him. While also finding out about him.

Again, how does she know him?

[Spud43]

She knows this person through her part time job. It's a woman (my daughter is bi)my daughter is just about to start six form. She is not the type to go out to pubs etc or stay out late. The question is do I forbid it or stand back? I'm sure the standing back is the liberal attitude - but the last thing I want is her out drinking, clubbing with adults - I want her to enjoy her teen years with her peers.

[Spud43]

The 16 year old is my daughter. The adult is a 32 year old woman. I'm reluctant to stand back and let her do as she pleases. I think that is how so many teens can end up pregnant, drinking heavily, drugs etc due to lack of parental responsibility. What do you think?

[PenisesAreNotPink]

Well she's too young for pubs and clubs. I'd be wanting to be meeting up with this person to have a chat about how inappropriate you find it.

That's a massive age difference.

[Purpleroxy]

Well I am about the same age as that adult and the idea of having a relationship with a 16yo makes me want to vomit.

That said, if you are worried about pregnancy, I don't see how a woman is accidentally going to get your daughter pregnant.

But anyway, 16yo needs to be reasoned with and come to the understanding that it is not appropriate to be in such an unbalanced relationship. All the power lies with the older one, your dd isn't old enough to drive or drink and might not have even left school/education! She's a child and even though she might not feel or look like one, she needs to realise that person has another lifetime's experience compared to her.

[specialsubject]

no normal 32 year old would find a 16 year old interesting. So this woman's motivations are the same as a man's would be in a similar relationship - to get into the girl's knickers.

well, at least she won't get pregnant.