Dd thinks people don't like her :-(

[Dancergirl]

Dd1 is 13, just about to start Year 9 at a girls school where she seems happy and is doing well. She is quite quiet and choosy about her friends but after a few hiccups in Year 7 she settled into a nice small group of friends. However one girl moved abroad in Year 8 and dd told me recently that 2 of the others had been sending nasty texts to another girl. Dd is very close to this girl so it was all a bit upsetting.

Dd's been a bit bored over the holidays, she's seen her close friend once but other than that she doesn't seem to have friends she can call, arrange to go out with etc.

She's just come back from a residential dance summer school. She enjoyed the dancing but didn't get on too well with the other girls. She said they didn't seem to like her and bossed her around. We had a chat about it on the train home yesterday and I actually think she would like to have a few more friends but she's got it into her head that people don't like her.

A few years ago just before she started secondary, we found there was a girl going to the same school who lived locally. I vaguely knew the mum through other friends so we got together so the girls could get to know each other a bit. They seemed to get on ok but the friendship didn't really continue even though dd liked this girl. We also heard this girl had quite a big party last year and didn't invite dd

I just don't know where she's going wrong. The only thing I can think is that because she is very shy and takes a while to warm up to people, she might give the impression of being unfriendly.

During term time she does a lot of dance, she does have friends there but just to chat to, not to go out with and socialise.

Any advice how I can help if at all?

[Madratlady]

I can't really help much, I'm 24 and still assume new people don't like me. She'll find 'her' people eventually though, I didn't have a big group of friends till about 14, just a couple of close friends before that. These days I've lost touch with a lot of the group of school friends but have a small group of good friends who I'm happy and comfortable with.

[thornrose]

It's very hard. My dd is about to go into Year 10, she is also at a girls school and has only seen two girls in the whole of the 6 weeks holiday.

My dd has AS though so it sort of goes with the territory!

I have read lots and lots of similar threads, it's really common sadly. Your dd isn't going wrong, it's just a horribly difficult age for some girls!