17-year-old ds wants to book lads' holiday to Malia next summer.

(93 Posts)

He will be 18, and will be going with three school friends. I am not happy about this at all - from what I have read tonight, it is full of teenage Brits, getting off their skulls on cheap alcohol (buy 1 drink for 3€, get two, or even 5 free), having lots of sex, and racing round on cheaply hired quad bikes.

But I know there is not a lot I can do about this - he's worked, labouring for a friend of mine and has saved enough for the deposit, and earns £25 a week from a paper round, so he could afford the holiday (they've found a deal costing £300-ish for a week) and save up spends - so he's not going to be relying on us to finance the holiday - which means we won't really have much say.

Has anyone been to Malia? Or have your teens been - and how was it?

I am going to show ds3 the news stories I've found, and see what he says.

He does go out and party with friends, but has only been drunk enough to need us to go and get him twice. He and his friends seem to look out for each other when they are drinking, and none of them have ever got into serious trouble - throwing up seems to be the worst they have got up to - we haven't had to go and bail him out or collect him from A&E. I think he is reasonably trustworthy, but would that hold, when he's in a party town, surrounded by loads of other drunken teens, behaving recklessly? He did go to T in the Park this summer, and came home none the worse - should that reassure me? I don't know.

I want to trust him. I know that he will be 18 and would be able to go with or without our permission - and that in a few years, he'll be living independently, and won't even have to discuss his holiday plans with us - but I am worried about this holiday.

Dh is away until Wednesday night, and I have said ds3 can't book the holiday without first talking it over with him, but ds3 and his friends want to book on because they have found a good deal.

Arghhhh - why can't they stay little.

sooperdooper Mon 11-Aug-14 23:25:01

If he'll be 18 and not asking you to pay you can't stop him, he'll be fine, have you seen the first Inbetweeners film?? Make sure he not stupid enough to have unsafe sex or take drugs (it might not be what they're told it is), yes they'll drink too much and act daft but he's an adult now

I know - and though it may not sound like it, I am being more open to this idea than dh is.

I guess all we can do is to give him the safe sex, safe behaviour lectures, and make sure he has good travel insurance.

Little bump for the day crowd...

Finola1step Tue 12-Aug-14 10:19:03

Nowt you can do.

Make sure he takes condoms and has decent travel insurance.

Isn't there going to be a single vote for 'Lock him in the shed until he is 30?' Not one? winkgrin

Mrsjayy Tue 12-Aug-14 10:22:55

My dds are quiet so no real wild resort holidays thankfully I watched a programme about sunny beach Bulgaria and jeez it is wild, malia is the new place to go isnt it I know you are freaking out but as long as you are not paying for it they will be 18 and I think you need to trust him I can see where you are coming from though all you can do is warn him about drinking too much and pack condoms thousands of teens go away and come home very hungover but safe and usually what happens on holiday stays on holiday.

My dd is planning a girls holiday next year to Spain.

I have said nothing. But I am with you on the "lock them in the shed until they are 30"

I am currently burying my head in the sand and pretending that she isn't actually planning on going on holiday, to Spain, with 7 girls aged 17.

Mrsjayy Tue 12-Aug-14 10:25:02

Just cry and say mummy will be so upset please dont go grin

Namechangearoonie123 Tue 12-Aug-14 10:26:00

He's an adult. You need to allow him to make his own mistakes and grow up his way.

JadeJ123 Tue 12-Aug-14 10:26:55

Went to Magaluf when I was 18 with friends from college, it's full of people getting too drunk, getting cheap tattoos when drunk and throwing up in the streets, but I had the time of my life. Alcohol is very cheap there and partially the reason I went BUT would I do it again? Never it was too full of people and once I grew up I realised it wasn't my brightest idea, and no I didn't end up with a strangers name tattooed on me and yes people do purely go there to get cheap alcohol and have sex.

Fullpleatherjacket Tue 12-Aug-14 10:27:44

I had pretty much this scenario last year. DS was just 18 when he went (Magaluf) and I was looking for a cancellation on 'Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents' grin

He went with all sorts of warnings ringing in his ears, not least the one about not trying to climb between balconies. That one turned out to be totally redundant because they were all in ground floor rooms which made him v. triumphant hmm.

I don't doubt I didn't hear the worst of it but they all came back in more or less one piece (one broken arm from walking into the street looking the wrong way hmm) and they'd had a whale of a time.

Definitely buy cast iron travel insurance, take the view no news is good news and look forward to relaxing once you know he's safely home.

MrsDavidBowie Tue 12-Aug-14 10:30:05

Dd going away next summer with girls next summer.

I did 40 years ago!!!

Just give advice re sex, drugs and alcohol.
None of them are party animals and dd is emetophobe so no excess alcohol there. More worried about sunburn.

HairyPotter Tue 12-Aug-14 10:30:06

Is it a club 18/30 or similar or just a holiday to Malia? What hotel is it?

The youth brands will encourage them to sign up for all the boat trip and pub crawls. He might be better booking a normal package.

Take good travel insurance and a safe way of taking euros. Prepaid card or travellers cheques. Take copies of everything. Invoices, passports etc in case they are lost.

Check property reviews first. There are dodgy hotels that seem to get broken into a lot. inside job if you ask me Better to book something nicer a wee but further from the centre if possible. Incidentally, if they aren't 18 yet they will need a parent to book the holiday.

Good luck. I have all this to come with the little Hairys.

TheFairyCaravan Tue 12-Aug-14 10:30:19

DS1 went to Malia last year with 13 friends as a post A level holiday. No doubt DS2(17) will be wanting to go next year.

I won't lie to you and say I was relaxed about it, I worried myself silly for the week he was there. But he had an amazing time, he loved it and did nothing silly.

He is very mature and has a sensible head on his shoulders so that was reassuring. Some of the lads got tattoos and went to strip clubs, but he didn't. He wouldn't get a shit tattoo in this country let alone abroad and he said the girls in the strip clubs were being exploited, looked unhappy and wanted no part.

Yes he got drunk, but there were no vomit covered clothes in his suitcase when he got back. He didn't hire quad bikes because he would have had to have been up in the day! They were out until 7am so sleeping until 4-5pm!

He didn't want to choose Malia when they booked and wished they had gone to Magaluf. The problem with Malia is the bars are condensed into a very small area, so there are masses and masses of drunk people in what is one street. He was, also, ripped off by the hotel owner as are a lot of the kids.

NorksEnormous Tue 12-Aug-14 10:34:25

Have you ever seen 'sun, sex and suspicious parents'?

Mostly what happens on these 'lads first holidays' is that they say they are going to have loads of sex and get really drunk but it rarely happens! Usually on the first night they go out and get really drunk then spend the rest of the week nursing a hangover from hell. grin

PrimalLass Tue 12-Aug-14 10:34:35

I went away at 18 and wouldn't have even thought to ask my parents. I had paid for it and was about to leave home for uni anyway.

Groovee Tue 12-Aug-14 10:36:38

2 of my nieces have been to Malia and both complained it was expensive.

I'd make sure he had plenty money with them to cover all sorts of costs.

Mrsjayy Tue 12-Aug-14 10:37:02

Can 17yr olds book a holiday I say that cos my friend had to go into the travel agent her 17yr old was going with guys from work and she had to give permission

AccidentallyInLove Tue 12-Aug-14 10:41:48

I went when I was 18. (27 now) had the best time! Was full of everything you said but We were sensible and didn't go too far. It's not the place, but the people, that go crazy so it all depends on what your son is like but he's old enough so let him go and try not to worry too much. He'll be fine and it's all about growing up.

<Covers ears La La La>

DS18 is going to Kavos in a few weeks with 3 friends.They have booked and paid for it. I am not thrilled, I would rather he did something more worthy like hill walking and camping but I don't feel it's my place to stop him.

LeftHandedMouse Tue 12-Aug-14 10:51:13

DS and DD both did the end of school blast with mates and both survived.

DS did have some stories to tell but mostly daft ones not scary ones.

DD was told to text mum every day to let her know she was still safe, which she did very sarcastically.

They survived.

I've just spoken to ds1 about this - I hadn't realised that a bunch of his friends went there after they finished school 2 years ago. All of them came back in one piece - no tattoos, scars, diseases - and one of them said that, by the fourth day, her liver hated her so much that she pretty much stopped drinking! He's now studying law, and tells me that I am not allowed to lock ds3 in the shed until he is 30 dammit!

I know I can't stop him, and he will have a great time, and chances are nothing major will go wrong. I think I am going to adopt secretsquirrel's approach - fingers in ears, singing La, La, La' for the next 12 months, until he is back. It'll make housework difficult, but them's the breaks! grin

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat Tue 12-Aug-14 10:52:55

Malia is the big party resort on one of the Greek Islands isn't it? So like Magaluf/Benidorm/Ayia Napa?

I think the biggest risk is the balcony accidents, followed by traffic accidents then excess drink/drugs.

If anything, impress on him to NEVER try jumping between balconies and look both ways before crossing the road - remembering that all traffic will be coming the 'wrong' way - assuming you have been abroad as a family, he should be experienced in this already? Does he do it automatically, or do you have to remind him?

Those of you saying get good travel insurance is a good point, but best to be aware that they have form for not paying out if an accident or loss/theft, if excess drinking is involved link.

Obviously he is going on a party holiday, so will probably be drinking, but maybe get insurance from a big, well thought of name, rather than the cheapest?

bayrans Tue 12-Aug-14 10:54:06

I went 16/17 years ago - had a whale of a time :-)
And the first Inbetweeners film is actually shot in Magaluf despite them being in Malia.

It really doesn't matter where he goes, Malia, Magaluf, Faliraki, Kavos, Bodrum etc.....They're all essentially the same.
It's not a new thing for young Brits to go abroad and get wasted - I was doing it 20 years ago (and my husband 30!)

Definitely make sure he has the E111 card and comprehensive travel insurance. Even if he has a minor accident he could be ripped off. I badly sprained my ankle in Malia, it cost me €200 for an X-ray, strapping and crutches - and like I said that was 17 years ago.
He sounds sensible, let him go.

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