Would you take housekeeping off teen on a low paid apprentiship ?

(58 Posts)
Shinyshoes2 Thu 26-Jun-14 13:17:18

My son has a face to face interview tomorrow with a fairly high chance of starting on a full time apprentiship ... He'll be on roughly £100. A week

He's 17 years old
..
Would you take housekeeping from him ?
I'm unsure as its very low paid but at the same time I want him contributing towards the house as a young man he needs to start learning about contributing to the household somehow . At the moment he takes his sister in the morning and picks her up from school.
Obviously if he's doing 40 hours a week he can't do this
Should I just leave it for a year ? ( the apprentiship is 12 months )
We get absolutely no financial help with him whatsoever

scatterpuss92 Wed 02-Jul-14 14:32:35

Tbh whoever suggested taking £50 a week from £100 wages is taking the piss. ( I'm hoping anyway.) Why would you do that, except to breed resentment, and considering the other £50.00 would have to cover travel expenses/ haircuts/ toiletries/ phone etc he would be left with literally nothing to enjoy. I somehow doubt that will encourage a 17 year old to stick at a poorly paid apprenticeship.....Especially as you would not be £50.00 a week better off if he were to move out.

A far more reasonable approach would be to allow him to become self-funding, ( e.g. he now pays for phone, toiletries, food out etc) himself, with you providing basic/ family mealtime food and shelter, and an agreement he will pay a reasonable amount of board, (NOT a third ffs,) once he has progressed from the apprenticeship to a full-time job.

To end taking a third/ 50% of such low wages just makes you look petty, greedy and grasping.

As a side note I also really don't understand the mentality of "secretly," saving for your child. Surely it would be far more sensible and encourage a much more responsible attitude to encourage the ds in question to open a savings account for himself. Seeing his savings build will encourage a stronger work ethic than giving mum money which he thinks she's spending on herself and doen't realise is being saved.

Also completely agree with usual. So what if he blows his wages a couple oftimes at 17 ? when else can you lol

usualsuspectt Sat 28-Jun-14 19:58:28

I wouldn't take any money.

100 a week is not much when you take out travel expenses, phone, clothes. toiletries etc.

If you can't blow all of your wages at 17 , when can you.

Good luck to him I say.

Stickaflakeinit Sat 28-Jun-14 19:58:21

I got my first p/t job at 14 and at that age my pocket money stopped, as I got £20 a week for a Saturday job At 18 i began working full time in a gap year before uni and earned £120 a week. I gave my mum £30 a week without having to be asked. Once you start working, you contribute to the family if you are still living in the family home. That was how I was raised and it is how I'll raise my children.

myotherusernameisbetter Sat 28-Jun-14 19:50:49

Apart from obviously providing a home and food and clothes etc for him, were you giving him any money?

If it was me, I'd stop their allowance/pocket money but not take anything initially if I didn't need the money. If I did need the money then I'd take £10-20 a week and leave him the rest but he'd have to pay his way as regards his clothes, haircuts etc.

Or, I may take a token amount and save it for him if I didn't need it myself to put food on the table.

I don't allow myself £100 a week to spend on whatever I want, but then I am not a teenager with an important social life and a need to be wearing the right clothes etc ;)

I wonder if any of the "take £50 a week" brigade can remember what it was like to be a teenager! My first job I was earning £200 a month and I gave my mum £60 a month - but she needed it as my dad wasn't working after an op on his spine and she'd lost my child benefit etc too. I was £20 a month for my buspass and got a subsidised lunch at work or could take my own from home and I felt rich.......but we are talking about the early 1980s.

BackforGood Sat 28-Jun-14 19:47:46

Well put stickaflake

Stickaflakeinit Sat 28-Jun-14 19:46:31

Taking money from a child? At 17, and doing an apprenticeship, he is a young adult embarking on working life. Should mummy phone in sick for him when he has a tummy ache? Jeez....

Bowlersarm Sat 28-Jun-14 18:51:29

No, I wouldn't.

GetOrfMoiLand Sat 28-Jun-14 18:46:20

Good posts Lacey. I totally agree that teaching the value of money should be instilled by the age of 18 anyway.

LaceyLitch Sat 28-Jun-14 17:56:58

When I was earning £20 a day (same as OP's son) busting my arse in a crap job I would have resented my mum taking any of it from me as she didn't need it. If your family were poor and REALLY needed the money to survive a good kid would offer without being asked. If you don't need it I can't see any reason to take money off your own child. The 'learning the value of money' thing should be instilled before 16/17/18, unless the are spoilt.

Not a child at 18
He's 17.

eden - bit rude and judgemental that hmm

Not a child at 18. And the vast majority of people saying they would take money are doing it for good reasons: to teach the value of money, or because they lose child benefit once they reach adulthood and can't afford adults to live for nothing in their house.

edendvatri Sat 28-Jun-14 14:44:01

How can anyone be capable of taking money from their own child...

GetOrfMoiLand Sat 28-Jun-14 14:18:06

Mind you I'm of the mindset at the moment that she can stay at home until she is 57 and I will pay for the lot.

This is due to the fact she is probably moving away imminently and I will miss her a lot!

GetOrfMoiLand Sat 28-Jun-14 14:15:52

My daughter has just finished college but was working also about 25 hours a week, so earned a reasonable amount.

I don't take any money but I don't give her any - she funds herself, lunches, petrol, clothes, phone bill, car tax etc.

It all depends on personal finances though - if you are struggling for money it seems daft to let them have 100 quid a week spending money doesn't it? I don't think there are any hard and fast rules

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 28-Jun-14 14:14:11

It doesn't make any sense to charge him nothing now and then to come up with a figure next year. You will have already set a precedent (in his mind) that 100 quid a week equals a free ride. What happens if his wage after his apprenticeship is 120 a week? What are you going to ask him to pay then?

I'd have thought 20 a week as an absolute minimum to cover his food and he pays for everything else he needs himself. If his fares are 30 quid a week he'll still have fifty to himself to spend as he wishes. That's a lot more than some people have to themselves who live independently

AnnoyingOrange Sat 28-Jun-14 14:03:07

I was thinking £10 a week, but after reading all these responses, maybe £20. But certainly not more than that

starfishmummy Sat 28-Jun-14 13:51:05

Why not?
Food has to be paid for by someone.

I was on a very poorly paid apprenticeship about 15years ago and earnt £40 per week. My parents had £10 for bills and I kept the rest. It didn't really go far though,my transport was £7.50 a week, I had to buy my lunches and I often got food in for dinner for the 5 of us, bought my own clothes etc. However, I always managed to scrape enough money together once a month to go out smile

I think if my ds was earning £100 I'd want to take about £25-£30 or for them to buy some food towards meals.

Stickaflakeinit Sat 28-Jun-14 13:32:02

I'd take money off him to teach him money management and that your take home salary isn't just for spending on fun. I would only ask for a token amount, maybe £10 a week.

HygieneFreak Sat 28-Jun-14 13:29:23

Lacey

Couldnt agree more!

LaceyLitch Sat 28-Jun-14 13:10:32

a house, with heat and light, council tax paid, food on the table, TV and internet provided, washing machine etc. £20 a week does not cover that.

Yeah £20 doesn't touch the sides, but how many of you are working for £100 a week? At the end of the day he is still legally a child, if he was in education you wouldn't take anything from him. If you are REALLY going to miss the CBA make him give you that per week.

I started working at 16 whilst still at school working sat and sun 6 hours each day for about £3.40ph as a hotel cleaner. Really tiring work for crap pay. Used to walk the 6 mile round trip. Why would my mum take money from me? I bought my own clothes/toiletries/majority of my food (mum didn't really cook much), travel etc.

I didn't need her ripping me off and or controlling my money by taking it off me to save to teach me about working life etc. I am now 22 been out of the house for 4 years and have 6k in savings. Share a nice flat with my boyfriend which costs us about £1400pm in rent and bills which we half, after travel of about £100pm month I have just less than half my wage left for me, so over £100pw. (In response to *do you have £80 - £100 a week just to spend on treats for yourself ???*) However I do have the luxury of just having me to pay for, not any offspring.

Basically OP if you think you son is mature enough to enjoy his money responsibly whilst saving then no, don't take any money. If you think he needs a reality check to wake him up to what life is going to be like after he leaves home then yes, take a token amount. He has his whole life to pay bills and worry about money, just let him enjoy his first job.

Redhead11 Sat 28-Jun-14 12:37:05

My DD is a student, currently signed off her work, and is still expected to contribute a token amount to housekeeping. She is more than happy to do this and annoyed that because of being signed off, the original deal that was made for her keep this summer fell through. Once she is back to work, things will probably change, but she will be paying for her own travel to and from her job, by public transport. she is also expected to do things around the house while at home, even though signed off.

mloo Sat 28-Jun-14 12:33:19

It seems like apprenticeship around here would also pay about £100, which would be eaten up almost entirely by travel costs. So my answer is something like I'd ask for 1/3 of what's left after all work-related costs, which means £1 if I'm lucky.

RhondaJean Sat 28-Jun-14 12:26:24

Yes I would but if I could afford it I would stick the money away and offer it back when he needed to make a big purchase (thinking car) without telling him that was what I was doing.

He needs to get into the mentality of his pay being used for living expenses and paying them out first then budgeting the rest around his wants and it's a good way to teach him that.

OorWullie Sat 28-Jun-14 12:24:36

My mum took about £15 a week from my college bursery of a similar amount when i was 18 and still living with her.

I was responsible for my own clothing, travel, phone bill, toiletries and snacks/extra food outwith the normal family meals.

I think it's good to take something, even if it is a token amount, it introduces the commitment involved in paying your way etc.

BackforGood Sat 28-Jun-14 12:23:06

Pigwitch - as per another thread running at the moment, most of us don't buy clothes every week!
Yes you can get pedantic over toiletries (I tend to bung shower gel and deoderants etc in with the weekly groceries, but you can work out individual detail with each family) this is more about the principle.
They can take lunch from home, as dh and I do.
Travel - yes, it's about learning how life works, one of your first expenses of being at work, is travelling to work. By being responsible yourself, it's more motivating to seek out options such as young person's railcard, or looking in to cycling there, or whatever the options are close to you. My ds currently works in a shop around his A-levels, and has to fund his travel to get there from what he gets paid - it means on a short shift it's not really worth him going in, but he now understands that and it's given him the confidence to talk to the manager and explained how it works for him and he has now improved that for himself. I doubt if he would if it hadn't impacted on his pocket.
Driving lessons (as I did say in my original post, yesterday) would be something I'd be prepared to negotiate around. Point being, I'd start with the principle that they will be contributing a reasonable amount, and then sit down with them and work out what they needed (in terms of travel, say) and what was a reasonable amount.

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