14 yo DD has very large breasts & very low self esteem/body image

(52 Posts)
Milla37 Mon 16-Jun-14 12:05:30

Hello! Any advice gratefully received....my poor 14 year old daughter has very large breasts, around size 44G. She is so self-conscious about it that she doesn't want to go to a shop to get fitted properly or buy bras - not helped by when she did finally pluck up courage to come with me to get fitted at M&S in Richmond & the lady measured her & then had nothing at all in her size. I've done some "trial & error" ordering for her from Evans - but out of about 5 bras that I ordered for her only 1 fitted, and that wasn't great. She really needs to go somewhere to try some on & get properly fitted, a nice friendly sensitive shop in West or Central London that has a decent stock of very large sizes. Rigby & Peller would be great, but I can't afford to pay £80 for 1 bra, & even they only seem to have a choice of about 4 in that size!!! Any suggestions? She's SO sensitive & easily upset about it all :-( ...Help!

AnyFucker Mon 16-Jun-14 12:09:35

Are you sure a 14yo is a 44 rib cage size ? M+S have a terrible reputation for measuring properly. Have you checked out the bra intervention threads on here for the correct way to measure...it has transformed many MN'ers figures.

Seeline Mon 16-Jun-14 12:11:22

If you can get to a Bravissimo shop they are brilliant. They usually don't even measure you, but know the right size for you. They will also really explain how to work out whether a bra fits you properly or not, so you are more confident of going elsewhere. Many of their bras are expensive, but are worth it. They usually have a good range in stock as well. Once you know her size (I wouldn't rely on the M&S fitting at all) you can use the Bravissimo web site.
M&S measured me as a 42D and the bras in that size didn't fit in any way. Bravissimo measured me as a 36G. The M&S bras in that size do fit me, and I order on line as they rarely have them in the shop.

Milla37 Mon 16-Jun-14 12:14:47

I'm a bit skeptical about the 44 measurement actually....I might take a tape measure to her myself later just to check. She is quite overweight at the moment - suffering with some mental health issues so I'm obviously trying to deal with the weight problem with as much sensitivity as I can....

AnyFucker Mon 16-Jun-14 12:14:58

Yep, nothing wrong with M+S bras themselves but the measuring is shocking.

AnyFucker Mon 16-Jun-14 12:16:43

Measure under her boobs around the ribcage and pull the measure tight.

Milla37 Mon 16-Jun-14 12:17:41

I've had a look on the Bravissimo website & they don't seem to go higher than a 40" back/under-cup size. I guess I could get her fitted there, but it takes so much courage for her to even get measured that it's horrible when they then say that they don't stock anything in her size - not sure I want to put her through that trauma again at the moment :-(

TickledOnion Mon 16-Jun-14 12:19:47

If M&S measured her as a 44, then she is probably more like a 38 back. Please try bravissimo. They are lovely and will do their best to make her feel comfortable.

beccajoh Mon 16-Jun-14 12:21:12

There's a Bravissimo in Ealing, or Guildford might also be an option. I highly doubt she's a 44G, just that M&S are hopeless at fitting. I wear bras that are a 28/30 back size but M&S would put me in a 36 for reasons I've not yet worked put!

beccajoh Mon 16-Jun-14 12:22:49

Bravissimo bras are more in the £30-35 per bra range. Once you know roughly what her actual size is you can order online from places like Brastop or Figleaves so she can try on at home if she'd feel happier that way.

Seeline Mon 16-Jun-14 12:24:29

Agree - M&S always seem to be 5-6" bigger in their measurements. I am overweight, but still only measure 38" at the moment. I was only a 36" when they measured me as a 42".
As I said BRavissimo don't usually even need a tape measure - they are so helpful and friendly.

juneau Mon 16-Jun-14 12:24:31

John Lewis also have a good bra measuring dept and a large range of sizes and styles. If her breasts are really that big its essential that she's wearing a properly fitting bra or she could get back and shoulder problems as a result.

motherinferior Mon 16-Jun-14 12:25:22

I'd be really surprised if she's much over a 36.

AnyFucker Mon 16-Jun-14 12:26:27

Measure tightly around the rib cage under the boobs (tightly)

Then measure the fullest part of the boobs leaning forward

The difference between the two in inches is the cup size eg. 1" difference is an A, 5" would be a DD, 9" would be a FF

motherinferior Mon 16-Jun-14 12:26:39

This shop is out of your way but I can recommend it.

CurlyBlueberry Mon 16-Jun-14 12:32:19

There used to be a Leia in Richmond which was fab when I was a teenager with large breasts, but it seems to have closed down now sad

Get her to a Bravissimo. They will have something in her size I am sure, and I would be very surprised if she was above a 40 back anyway.

Theas18 Mon 16-Jun-14 12:34:36

M+S measurements WILL BE WRONG!

Unless your DD is genuinely a very large lady she is never a 44 underbust. I wont tell you my size but I ain't small and wear a 36. My friend who is a dress size 22 is a 38K and can get bras from bravissimo though a limited choice.

Please take her to bravissimo. Book ahead, maybe even pop in and tell them the problems she's had and how she's feeling. The fitting will be by a bravissmo busted lady almost certainly and they are just fab at making girls feel comfortable.

My just 15yr has been a bravissimo girl for years. M+S have been increadibly rude to her almost along the " noone has norks that size" but bravissimo have aways been lovely.

Can you tell us her weight /dress size?

KarlWrenbury Mon 16-Jun-14 12:34:53

is she VERY overweight?

KarlWrenbury Mon 16-Jun-14 12:35:23

ah yes, Sorry. I missed your post - even so I agree wiht the others about that back size

KarlWrenbury Mon 16-Jun-14 12:37:19

show her the Freya ones - so pretty

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals Mon 16-Jun-14 12:40:28

They are lovely in bravissimo. I am really self conscience about my tummy and stretch marks etc and I used to wear a strappy top and just roll it down so that they didn't have to see it. I don't care so much now as they put me at ease but was a bright red mess at 14 y.o. in M&S.

Wafflenose Mon 16-Jun-14 12:46:32

Please take her to a Bravissimo. They are lovely.

M&S would have me in a 38. I'm a 32!

TheTerribleBaroness Mon 16-Jun-14 12:47:23

When I was 14 DM had me in 38DDs from M&S. I'm actually a 32. Bravissimo have lovely bras, young and trendy and a properly fitting bra will make her look slimmer anyway.

AnyFucker Mon 16-Jun-14 12:47:25

M+S measured me years ago as 36A.

I am actually a 32DD.

Another voice saying 44 rib cage sounds unlikely and to try bravissimo.

I went from being flat chested at the beginning of year 7, so aged 12, to having 36 GG bosoms at the beginning of year 8. It was really horrible. Because they grew so quickly too they were covered in angry res stretch marks and I hated them. I'd go as far as to say that I hated them for years- all the other girls my age could wear boob tubes and slippy summer dresses and I was humping around 2 stone of horrible tit on my chest hmm

I'm now 17 years on and a 38 HH so the good news is that they didn't grow much more. I also in the five years between acquiring the beasts and starting sixth form grew about 7 inches in height which helped my body image. It was really hard for me as my boobs are unprecedented- my mum is a 32 AA and my only sister a 32 B... We assume my huge breasts come from my dads adopted family as the women in my mums family are all very slight and short and petite looking. I, on the other hand, am this tall hulk of a woman with massive feet and big breasts! I had to learn to dress myself really but soon discovered that dresses looked much better on me than separates and that no matter how much I wished I could wear strappy tops and jeans, I just can't. It looks bad.

Find a bravissimo shop and get your daughter properly fitted there. Even if you can only afford one great bra for her it will help everything- there's no piece of clothing it won't improve the look of once she's got it on. Maybe suggest getting her some new clothes for new figure as a present for her birthday or something? Again, if she's got a few nice pieces to wear she will feel so much better.

And as hard as it is for her now there will come a time when she will have grown into her new figure, the gentlemen in her life will admire it and her friends will be envious. It's hard being busty at her age but you as a mother can help her confidence.

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