Reassure me I'm not the only one with height concerns over DS [Note: Thread title has been edited by MNHQ]

(48 Posts)
anywinewilldonow Sat 31-May-14 20:38:09

OK, I know those on the "giant" thread don't mean to come across as stealth boasting, but I'm sure you are all secretly very pleased that your DSs tower above others and that you don't really mind having to buy new clothes or how much they eat.

Appreciate the fact that early growers have status amongst their peers, are more popular with the girls and get an unbelievable advantage in sports over the smaller boys, who often get left behind.

Yes, my DS is nearly 16, 5' 3", and probably doesn't even weigh 8 stone. He is one of the smallest in his year now and the effect on his confidence amongst his peers is huge. He hides it well, and is generally pretty happy, but I know.

The giants are the lucky ones!

17leftfeet Sat 31-May-14 20:46:47

I don't have boys but my brother was the shortest in the class right up to 6th form

And then he sprouted overnight and is now a tall man

I remember the tall boys at school were generally self assured read cocky and a hit with the ladies even though that didn't mean they treated them well

My brother really came into his own the first year of uni and has a great sense of humility and treats everyone well

Yes his teenage years were a bit crappy but he wouldn't change who he is now

[Post edited by MNHQ]

turdfairynomore Sat 31-May-14 20:53:27

My son is 16 and is 5ft 6in. In our house, he's the tallest but in his all boys school, he's tiny. It doesn't bother him much though.

I've just checked, and the average height and weight for a 16 year old boy is 5' 7" and under 9 and a half stone, so he isn't that far behind average.

I actually find that my tall, almost 14 year old, non sporty son would probably at this moment like to be smaller as he feels very self conscious and would prefer to blend in, his posture is terrible as he stoops to fit in and he feels everyone is looking at him. So it's not always rosy on the other side either, I think a lot of it is more to do with personality than size.

I know grown men smaller than your son who you would never think of as small because they are very outgoing and it's their smile and attitude to life that you see first.

I know it's hard and the teenage years are tough but I think he probably needs to feel comfortable in his own skin and then the girls will come flocking and maybe he could find a sport where his size and muscle development stage would be less important?

PavlovtheCat Sat 31-May-14 20:56:57

my db was small until about 17 yrs old, then shot up to 6ft 2. goodness knows where that came from, we are all short in our family, men included grin

TheFairyCaravan Sat 31-May-14 20:57:22

I don't, but my brother was like your DS then he just shot up and is now about 5' 9" or 10". It happened almost overnight, tbh.

PavlovtheCat Sat 31-May-14 20:58:12

my dh is short ish, he insists he is taller than he really is but it has not ever held him back and despite his amusements at insisting he is 5'8" he is not bothered.

Sparklingbrook Sat 31-May-14 20:58:35

anywine how tall are you and his father?

JohnFarleysRuskin Sat 31-May-14 20:59:56

They don't always shoot up tho.

What can you do? It just is, isn't it.

JamJimJam Sat 31-May-14 21:00:28

Mine, 16 this month, is 5'6" and 9 stone.

He is one of the shortest in his class.

DenzelWashington Sat 31-May-14 21:01:29

My DH was your DS, OP. He's average height now, and handsome with it. Plus, he's married to me, so lucked out generally. He minded being small, it stopped him getting further in sport, which he was good at, but it's not an issue now. He minded being slight, but now he's middle-aged and still slender while his contemporaries chunk up, he is pleased.

My DNeph was also your DS. He's above average height now, with muscles on his muscles. So things can still change.

SignoraStronza Sat 31-May-14 21:04:52

My dh was exactly the same - 5ft 3" at 16 and one of the smallest in his year. You would never believe it to look at him now, he's a broad chested 5ft 11" and built like a big hairy viking. I think he did a lot of growing over one summer holiday, but even when I knew him in his university days he still looked fairly young.

Meanwhile, years later, the cocksure lad who began year 7 with a broken voice and shaving regularly is not particularly tall or attractive any more. Some are just late bloomers!

Verycold Sat 31-May-14 21:05:01

Sorry to be a grump, but would you mind not using midget? My son has a growth disorder and will be lucky to reach more than 4 ft 6 adult height, and I am hoping that he will not be called things like that, which is why I am trying to raise awareness about the offensiveness of the word.

DenzelWashington Sat 31-May-14 21:06:33

Good point verycold. We won't stop our DSs from feeling sensitive by perpetuating a perjorative term for being short.

SconeRhymesWithGone Sat 31-May-14 21:10:30

Mmm. Don't know about the UK, but "midget" is an offensive term in the US.

ijustwanttobeme Sat 31-May-14 21:20:39

My DS too, 16 1/2 and only 5' 5"

Gets height (or rather lack of) from me I'm afraid, as I'm only 5'.

His older half DB is 6' 2

moggiek Sat 31-May-14 21:40:28

Why on earth do you need reassurance? My DS2 is a 28 year old highly successful professional - and is 5' 5". Amazing, eh?

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sat 31-May-14 21:43:53

I cringed at the term midget too. Until very recently doctors suspected ds had a growth hormone disorder and I was terrified thinking he'd never see 5 foot.

starfishmummy Sat 31-May-14 22:03:57

16 in a couple.of months
4ft 4 and just over 5 stone

anywinewilldonow Sat 31-May-14 23:07:27

Sorry! Didn't mean to cause offence. Just wanted to redress the balance!

17leftfeet Sun 01-Jun-14 00:21:22

Also would like to apologise, I've asked MNHQ to either delete my post or remove the offending word

Joules68 Sun 01-Jun-14 00:35:42

The term 'giant' is equally as offensive tho

thegambler Sun 01-Jun-14 00:39:05

I was 5ft 4" on my 16th birthday, by my 18th birthday I was just under 6ft.

steppemum Sun 01-Jun-14 00:49:19

Op, I am one of the ones with a very tall son.

I am very sympathetic to your ds, and I think you are right that it is harder for the smaller boys generally, due to the way society responds.

But you OP is pretty annoying. It smacks of - you tall boys aren't allowed to have problems because it is worse for us small boys.

Well, ds is 11 and still at primary school. He wears adult size 9 shoes. We go shoe shopping and he wants the funky bright coloured trainers that his friends wear. They are in Asda or Brantano at £15 per pair. But they only go up to a size 6, and so he hasn't been able to buy kids shoes since he was 9 years old. He really, really hates it. To get him something in a funky colour, I would have to buy some snazzy brand at £50 a pair, which I can't do.

I had large feet as a child. It was a constant source of shame and frustration. Ds will probably be in a size unavailable in normal shoe shops by the time he is 15. That is a very frustrating experience.

He is also much, much taller than his classmates. Right now that is not a secret source of delight, but a daily source of embarrassment. Everyone knows who he is. If 4 boys are messing around, they say his name, because they notice him. It is not actually that much fun being picked in.

I give you that story simply to say that there are joys and difficulties of all sorts in life. Struggling with being short does not mean that the tall ones have it easy, it is just that their issues are different.

steppemum Sun 01-Jun-14 01:01:21

*picked on

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now