I need help with 15yo DSD

(5 Posts)
TheTempest Tue 06-May-14 09:09:59

I wasn't sure where to put this and very long but I really need some help please.

My DSD lives with me and my partner (not her dad), her mum is suffering from DV from her partner. She made the decision to come and live with me and it's going ok.

She is really struggling with her mental health, she took an overdose last year which us when she came to me, was referred to cahms buy it's not getting any better.

She is having unprotected sex with very unsuitable people, self harming by cutting herself, smoking, drinking, having nightmares every night so she doesn't want to sleep.

My dd is a lot younger and I really don't have a clue how to deal with this. I have contacted her school and booked her a doctors appointment, but what else can I do?

I'm making sure I'm calm and listening non judgementally but it comes out bit by bit so I help with some parts and then she tells me something else.

Am I failing her? What should I be doing?

Thank you to anyone who made it through this!

Parsnipcake Tue 06-May-14 09:22:49

Have you got a local youth service or mental health service you could access? A brook clinic might be a good starting point. You could also ask social services for advice - this sounds like a private fostering arrangement do I assume you have a social worker? This should fast track you into support services.

TheTempest Tue 06-May-14 09:28:49

She attends cahms but with her mum as it's mostly focussed around their relationship. I know DSD doesn't tell them anything either.

It's not official at the moment her mum gives me money for food, and we get along pretty well but she has other children so SS haven't been involved until now.

After last year, they did an investigation but he (DSD's Mums partner) 'moved out' so they closed the case.

Thanks for the advice, I think maybe it's time to make this official and get more support.

Parsnipcake Tue 06-May-14 12:19:11

If you have been looking after her for 28 days, you legally must notify social services and be registered as a private foster carer - it sounds like this will give you an access to support. You could contact Camhs and discuss things with them too.

anthropology Tue 06-May-14 22:26:32

Also it will be difficult I imagine for Camhs to give you information as you are not a parent, but you can write to them, explaining that she is struggling and at least suggest she is have her own therapy . Camhs is primarily for the child, so she should be their focus, even if mum is involved and if you are her significant carer, its best you are on camhs radar so you know who to call if things get tougher. It's seem best to sort things legally so if she continues to be unwell, you and she, are clear about your role. Teens suffering depression do need home support alongside therapy, and you sound like you really care so I agree its best to involve a team of professionals to protect and help both of you . best of luck.

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