How do you motivate an x box adict?

[dingit]

That all ds wants to do. If a mate calls for him, he's happy to go out, but he doesn't instigate anything himself.
Doesn't do clubs, no sport, gave up scouts a year ago.
I want him to go to cadets this week, and try it out. His two ex scout mates have just started going. He's stamping his foot.
Would you make him go? I fear he will end up with a gaming chair curved spine. Help!

[dingit]

*addict

[fiestaforever]

pay him to mow the lawn then send him out with his pocket money to have some fun? how old is he?

[BertieBotts]

You can put parental controls on the xbox (or the internet) so that it cuts off after a certain time to force him out

Or just leave him to it? He'll emerge from his festering pit after a couple of years. Does he want to go to uni, college etc?

[dingit]

Thanks for your replies. He is 12 nearly 13, so year 8. He's fairly bright, but lazy at school and just chosen his options. There are words every weekend, as I refuse to let him fester in his room.
I've tried setting the parental controls, and failed, as dh can't remember our password

[CointreauVersial]

DS is banned from XBox during the week. No exceptions. He can play at the weekend, but tbh he uses it less now it's not a full-time habit.

We imposed a ban during Y8 as he simply wasn't giving his school work the necessary attention. He's now in Y9.

[dingit]

Cointreau, he is refusing to go to cadets tonight, so no xbox, he has to find something else to do. Dh says he has to find a club or hobby, otherwise he will be banned another night too.

[RawCoconutMacaroon]

We have (at various times), completely removed our DS1, 2 and 3 gaming platforms from their rooms and put them under lock and key. With access allowed for controlled periods.

This was done after discussion with them and their grudging agreement because each knew the gaming was interfering with their school studies, but they didn't have the self control to limit their time on them if they were in the same room.
And they were a lot older than 12! Right up to school leaving...

Our rules were, unrestricted gaming in the summer break after the exam period. Unrestricted gaming on one "day off" per week, and limited (or no) use through the week if homework and study up to date.

[scouseontheinside]

We got rid after a nasty incident between myself and DS1.

I should have never allowed the thing in my house in the first place. However, I appreciate this is not for everyone. Our screen rules are nada Sunday afternoon through to Friday end of school day, cos mine can't bloody self regulate.

We also say they need to have an after school activity. I like ones where they can have a friendship group outside of their school group - helps if the wagons ever fall of the wheel!

[JCDenton]

I can see this from both sides of the fence. Firstly, I'm willing to wear my tin knickers for this one, but are video games not a legit hobby/interest? I certainly count them among mine. A few posters have mentioned their DCs neglecting school for gaming which obviously is Not On but as long as he's given the cubs/scouts/cadets thing a fair shake, I wouldn't make him do it. I just hated that sort of thing when I was young no matter how much I was made to go and even now I (and DP, happily) much prefer to strike out and go and do our own thing than 'organised fun', which isn't easy when you're 13. I only really came out of my shell when I was a bit older and could work for a spare bit of pocket money and had friends who could drive. Really the issue is if he's neglecting things he normally would enjoy for more Xbox time which is a real problem or if he just isn't all that keen on the alternatives which is tough for you but understandable.

Obviously he needs more than one interest so maybe paintball or laserquest might be more his thing. It's not strictly sporty but it's a lot of running around. More socially maybe Magic Cards/Warhammer? I know little to nothing about them other than a lot of less outdoorsy kids seem to get (way too) into it. Or if you just want him to have an interest, any interest other than video games most popular series' have some sort of extended universe novels he might like which could lead into reading other books of a similar genre. If he likes racing games maybe a day out to a race track (I went to Croft Circuit when I was about 11 and obsessed with touring cars, I loved it) or go-karting?