15yr old DD punched and bit me... but may be low blood sugar?(34 Posts)
My parents had invited our family out for evening meal.
I called for my daughter to get her shoes on and to come with us. She said "no" to every question i asked her she said "No". I tried to keep the conversation light, but she became more and more sullen. I asked why ans she said "I look ugly". I said that we were about to leave the house now and just to come with us. And again with the "Wall of No's". I joked that I would take picture of her with her own phone and she could see how silly she looked and grabbed the phone out of her hand.
This was a big mistake.
When I did that she stood up and screamed at the top of her lungs twice and punched me several times in the body then bit my hand (the one holding the phone) pulling the skin severely but not drawing blood.
(Fortunately my 3yr old DD didn't see this as she was with her mum downstairs at the time)
I remained calm throughout this and when she'd finished I repeated what I'd said earlier and asked her to get her shoes and to go downstairs. She grabbed her boots threw them down stairs and walked out of the house and ran up the street. We found her in five minutes and persuaded her to get into the car and we went for the meal.
When we got home she said she was hungry again and I made her a snack
I found out that she'd had no breakfast and despite gogin to the cinema with her friend had only eaten popcorn and not gone for meal afterwards. So she'd had barely any food until we actually went for the meal at 6pm.
It's possible she had low blood sugar as this can provoke people into anger especially teeangers but should I be more concerned?
Yes you should be more concerned. It's she diabetic? Because even if she was that's a whole new level of aggression which (having several family members and friends who struggle with blood sugar) I have never ever seen.
clearly this behaviour is abnormal. If she is reasonable when she has eaten, have a chat and explain how horrible she was and how unpleasant it was for you. This may be the stupid lies that go round the teens that no-one should eat because it makes you fat, and of course starvation makes people hell to live with.
hope it is no more than that. If it is, then she needs help.
I'd expect it from a toddler that was hungry (my DD's tempers are spectacular when she's hungry, she's 6) but at 15 I/d expect her to be able to articulate it better. As a one off I wouldn't be too concerned but if its becoming a regular thing, I'd be worried
Um. I turn into a stroppy five year old when low on sugar. But I have never ever behaved like she has.
You need to be more worried. I'd recommend a trip to the doctor - and don't try to minimise it with him/her. It's possible that there is something wrong health-wise, or it could be behavioural. Either way, it needs fixing.
This isn't a normal reaction, and I think you should be concerned. Could be diabetes, could be something else, but you need to get it checked out. That level of aggression is completely unacceptable, and if it isn't related to a physical illness, then perhaps you need to consider if there is a problem with her mental health?
Think you are clutching at straws but you should be concerned and vigilant . Unless she has uncontrolled diabetes, in which case there would be other ongoing symptoms, something has triggered aggressive behaviour and distorted self image. Is this characteristic ? Has anything else happened in the run up to this ?
Has she apologised? Given any indication that she knows her behaviour was unacceptable, and she is sorry?
Is this a one off event or have similar things happened before?
I think there's a big difference between angry teen outbursts because you need to eat and punching and biting your Mum! What was on her phone she didn't want you to see?
Well I think there is more than a simple yes or no answer here.
My ds1 (16) can be HIDEOUS if he is really hungry / has low blood sugar and it really affects his behaviour / mood / self control.
So that may be the case with your dd and needs addressing in a serious but calm way about being old enough to take responsibility re eating when hungry and not getting to the stage where this occurs.
Second issue is that whatever the reason violence is not an acceptable response. Full stop. This also needs addressing and a serious conversation about that.
I do think too that you didn't handle this well in some ways. The threatening to take a picture and snatching her 'phone would be extremely inflammatory to many teenagers. Personally I would have given her a final chance to cooperate - ie we're leaving in 3 minutes, if you're not ready we will leave without you and then done just that. The best lesson is that behaviour has consequences rather than any confrontation / physical tussle.
Is she diabetic? It's unclear from your OP. I have two people in my immediate family with diabetes- neither one of them reacts like this with low blood sugar. For one, it makes sufferers very lethargic, with doesn't sound like your DD at all.
I really don't want to come across as harsh but it sounds as though you're trying to minimise your DD's behaviour. To an extent I can understand if you are- no one wants to admit that their child is capable of that. But she was and needs to be punished for it.
is she trying to control her weight and then is unable to resist snacks hating herself for:
a/lack of strong will
b/not being able to live up to some body image she thinks she should posses
I would if i were you consider some more education for her about food and nutrition.
What has she eaten during that dinner?
Does she snack every evening?
Does she eat breakfast every day?
My dd2 is four and has type 1 diabetes. Early signs of a hypo (low blod sugar) can be irritability, crying, shaking etc so its possible your dd may have had mood altering symptoms if her look sugar was a bit low.
In non diabetics the body will quickly right the low blood sugar itself or if you eat it will go back up. With dd2 this doesn't happen and she gets more angry then gets confused and without immediate treatment loses consciousness within minutes of the onset.
You can get something called reactive hypoglycaemia in non diabetics so may be worth a visit to the gp if you suspect a blood sugar problem.
It could also have been pmt or perhaps your dd is unhappy about something and does not know what to do and it all came out the wrong way. Whatever the cause I think it is something you need to try and get to the bottom of.
According to my wife it is PMT but still inexcusable to scream at full volume and bite my skin just short of drawing blood.
From more research I've done the blood sugar/diabetes thing seems unlikely except that she is like her mother and becomes irrational and angry when she has missed a meal but has no other symptoms of diabetes that I've noticed.
My DD is very bad at communicating (like many teens I suspect). I really don't know how to talk to my daughter as even from very little when faced with one or more questions she would always clam up and become even less talkative. Normally when i try to talk she ignores me for five minutes while try to get any sort of response and then asks me to go.
I take the point mentioned earlier that i was minimising what she had done and that it is never right to diminish violence after the fact. And that as her Dad all i can do is stand there and take the abuse or leave the room. I should have left the room. BUT the thought of her eating even less and just sitting alone her room while we had a meal made me think she would be even more isolated from us... I suspect that if i had left her she would've asked later why we left her. And if I explained why she would counter with the usual repetitive "No." argument.
So what is the punishment for her violence?
She panicked about her phone. There's something on it she doesn't want you to see.
Only if diabetic can you have really low BS (and a few other causes more serious ) .if she's NOT then you are clutching at straws with the BS thing
And if you are a new diabetic you have high blood sugar.
It's not low blood sugar (wtf?) or PMT she's just being vile. If she assaults anyone else in this way the police won't want to hear about blood sugar or PMT. At the very least she should lose her phone for this.
There's a syndrome teenagers and young adults can have where the blood sugar can go low: I used to have it. I would feel really unwell, lethargic and nauseated. I would have to force myself to eat, but as soon as the sugar hit the blood I would feel so much better. It was like a switch had been flicked. But I never re-acted with violence, even with the extreme provocation of a parent making a reasonable request. WTFlike may have a point here about the phone and you will have to discuss reasons why this happened and consequences
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