my Ds15 wants to sleepover at his girlfirends, she's 13 !

(58 Posts)
DieselSpillage Fri 04-Apr-14 20:51:45

I have said no way but ds is really losing the plot over it. His girlfirend's mum is ok about him staying over .. apparently he will have a mattress on the floor.. I am shock that she is ok about it.

It would be interesting for Ds to see a general consensus of opinions on this, as of course I am the mum from hell for saying no...

nooka Sun 06-Apr-14 23:44:51

I have a 13 year old dd and an almost 15 year old ds. Neither of them will be having boyfriends/girlfriends sleeping in their rooms over night for a while yet (although I might have to fight with dh about that - he's more liberal and I'm more traditional).

I'd be very concerned if either of my children were having sex, they are children and I wouldn't trust them to be always wearing condoms at their ages, and neither would cope with a pregnancy scare. Luckily neither of them are interested at all right now. The closest we have got is that we almost had a friend of dd's stay over recently who we know has a crush on her. I was very firm that she would be sleeping in a different room. Just to complicated!

LIZS Mon 07-Apr-14 09:18:20

Hang on , he has told you they are having underage sex yet you are still considering the relationship as "sweet". The local age of consent is 15 , it doesn't matter what it is elsewhere, and she is still underage . What if there is a problem and her mum reports him for rape? You cannot condone this in any shape or form.

DownstairsMixUp Mon 07-Apr-14 09:25:19

When I was 13 I asked my Dad if I could have my 13 year old boyfriend stay over night. After he had finished pissing himself laughing at me I was told a firm no and he rung my boyfriend's parents who agreed that we'd now have to be supervised on day visits to each other's houses. blush I was told we would have to wait till we were both 16 and that was that. I wasn't the sort of girl to do stuff in a park or outside, seemed a bit skanky to me so we fizzled out sadly. I'd take the same approach to my kids if they ever ask!

DieselSpillage Mon 07-Apr-14 17:05:09

Lizs the fact that there is less than 2 years between them means that it is not seen as illegal in the eyes of the law even though she is 13. I have told my Ds I am not at all ok with the fact that they had sex and have clearly explained why. I am doing everything I can to make sure the opportunity doesn't present itself, inspite of the fact that the girls mum is not bothered.

I don't want his first relationship to be full of guilt ridden recriminations. I don't see how disaproving of their friendship would help anyone. They need to learn about relationships and also how to set limits, I think it's better to guide them through than just forbid them from seeing each other.

LIZS Mon 07-Apr-14 17:44:50

So the girl is willing to have sex with your ds and yet not be honest enough with her oh so liberal and open mum, to gain access to contraception and sensible advice. iirc you have had a thread similar before. She still doesn't sound mature enough to handle the possible consequences of this relationship, legal or not.

Iwasagnome Mon 07-Apr-14 17:52:33

Please tell your ds that condoms do not give 100% protection .
How's he going to feel if she gets pregnant/ has to go through abortion

lottie82 Fri 11-Apr-14 14:58:37

my friends mum used to let his little brothers gf stay over when they were 14. he said she slept on the floor. I honestly think she was just really naïve.

BeyondStressed42 Fri 11-Apr-14 19:38:48

Good lord no shock 13 is JUST a teenager! It would be a different kettle of fish if she was 16 but she's not and it's inappropriate and quite frankly irresponsible of the mother.

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