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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

my Ds15 wants to sleepover at his girlfirends, she's 13 !

57 replies

DieselSpillage · 04/04/2014 20:51

I have said no way but ds is really losing the plot over it. His girlfirend's mum is ok about him staying over .. apparently he will have a mattress on the floor.. I am that she is ok about it.

It would be interesting for Ds to see a general consensus of opinions on this, as of course I am the mum from hell for saying no...

OP posts:

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Kormachameleon · 04/04/2014 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picnicbasketcase · 04/04/2014 20:55

I would also say no flipping way on earth, with a side order of you're having a laugh.

losersaywhat · 04/04/2014 20:57

Once I'd finished laughing and realised he was serious, he'd be told that there was no chance.

peppapigmustdie · 04/04/2014 20:57

No way at all would I even entertain the idea. I have only dds but dd1 aged 14 would not be having a sleepover with her boyfriend either here or at his. She hasn't got a boyfriend but that is by the by.

MissWimpyDimple · 04/04/2014 20:58

No. Way. Not. Never. !

DieselSpillage · 04/04/2014 21:02

Just so my Ds can understand .. Could anyone out there please explain to him why it's not a good idea.

OP posts:

BirdieWhirlie · 04/04/2014 21:03

No.

nirishma · 04/04/2014 21:04

Is she a single mum? My DH would hit the roof but before I met him I probably was a bit more naive about what kids of that age get up to these days. Surely if the dad was around he would be threatening to castrate your son if he came anywhere near his DD? Or is there no such thing as 'Daddy's little girl' anymore?

My dad wouldn't let a past boyfriend sleep in the same room as me in our family home when he came home with me during a university holiday!!! (My mum did but told me to not to mention to my dad - that's why I'm thinking perhaps she's a single mum?).

I would say to your son: you can do whatever you want when you're 18 but right now you respect the rules of this family. No sleepovers with girlfriends.

tbh I wouldn't let him have a gf at all if it starts to interfere with his schoolwork. He'll get over it.

Gosh, teenagers are so self-centred, aren't they?

BirdieWhirlie · 04/04/2014 21:05

Sleepovers are single gender affairs from just before puberty up to the age of consent. And possibly beyond it.

PortofinoRevisited · 04/04/2014 21:05

What are you looking for exactly? Just say no,

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 04/04/2014 21:05

No! Because she is 13.

ApplySomePressure · 04/04/2014 21:06

No way!

Liara · 04/04/2014 21:06

My 15 yo bf came on holiday with us when I was 13...it wasn't a problem. If her mother is OK with it I can't see the problem either, unless you have reason to worry that your ds will do something very stupid.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 04/04/2014 21:07

Tell him he can ask again when he is 18 and his GF 16. If they are still together then of course....

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 04/04/2014 21:09

I would imagine that the mother of a 13 year old would have her daughter's safety in mind. What makes you think she doesn't? Have you spoken to her?

nirishma · 04/04/2014 21:11

Diesel your son is not entitled to an explanation he needs to respect your rules! Tell him to get over himself. Enlist Dad if he doesn't wise up.

TribbleWithoutATardis · 04/04/2014 21:13

I'm going ask, but why does he need to stay over? I just can't the need for him to stay over, plus she is very young. There is a world of differece between 13 and 15. Those two years make a big difference.

losersaywhat · 04/04/2014 21:13

It's not a good idea because she's only 13, just as he's only 15 but not too young to get pregnant. If he was mine I would be reminding him that we were all that age once and have an idea of what may ( or may not be happening)

hugoagogo · 04/04/2014 21:13

No way

My bf slept 'on the camp bed' when we were both 16.

How I got pregnant, I don't know

TSSDNCOP · 04/04/2014 21:14

Hmm. The issue is will the mum still be cool if they were to have sex? And lets say she wasnt, could she accuse your DS of having sex with a minor even though he's a minor himself.

JabberJabberJay · 04/04/2014 21:20

No. Just no way.

You do realise that if they were to become sexually involved, your DS could be prosecuted?

I think that's a pretty good reason to say no.

Timetoask · 04/04/2014 21:23

No! Who cares what the gf mum thinks. Protect your child from unnecessary hurt. Boundaries, respect, rules.

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DieselSpillage · 04/04/2014 21:28

Dh just went to talk to mum.. she only lives 5 mins away. She wouldn't prosecute as trusts her daughter to know her own mind and agrees that it takes two..

She is ok with them sleeping together as she pointed out they could shag in the day whilst she's out at work anyway..

Dh asked her to respect the fact that we feel that she's too young for Ds and that we are not ok with letting them sleep the night together.

OP posts:

alita7 · 04/04/2014 22:36

difficult one. If she was 14 I'd say ok. I don't want any judgements but I know what I was up to in the park at 14 and I'd rather my dd was safe in side and could ask me about sex and be advised on safety than I made it difficult so she hid it from me and did it anyway and ended up in a bad place. age is difficult at that point, at 14 I'd had my period for 4 years and I still think that was the right time for me even though I'd discourage my dd from doing the same but I wouldn't be silly enough to just point blank say no ans instill rebellion.

but in your case I'd not let your son stay at hers she is 13 and if they are going to sleep together they'll do it anyway but for a 15 year old It might be hard to resist when they might not have done it otherwise . maybe suggest he sleeps over in the living room instead if they want to be able to stay up late and wake up together (ish).

Innogen · 04/04/2014 23:04

Not a chance in hell. Never with an underage gf. Nope nope nope.

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