My 17.5 year old DS has always been lazy and we have tried to get him to help out occasionally over the last couple of years but as he is always reluctant, it ends up being more trouble than its worth. He is off to Uni in September. He spends most of his time in his room apart from coming out for mealtimes together and antagonising/belittling his sister.
We give him lifts to his job and hobbies 5 miles away four evenings a week, not to mention friends houses as we live in a rural area with limited public transport. We bought him driving lessons for his birthday in the Summer but he only did 3 and decided he didn't fancy any more until next year, although we bought a little old car to keep for the kids to use at the same time, it sits in the garage though my not-yet-17 DD is desperate for it to be her turn so she can drive it.
Thus situation has suddenly become intolerable and my eyes have really been opened as I broke my leg badly last week and am incredibly limited in what I can do at the moment, as I am on crutches and non weight bearing for at least the next 6 weeks. I obviously can't drive, hoover and other jobs have to be done on one leg or sitting down and take 10 times as long.
I had to stay in hospital to have a plate and screws put in and came home last week. Since then he offered me one cup of tea and has complained the three times anything of him e.g. setting the table, hoovering etc. His response when I asked him to give me a hour on his time to help with so,e jobs was "thats not fair, Its half term and anyway I already have a job (his weekend job)
He has never offered any contribution of either his time or money towards the fuel and time we use to get him to and from his job, which includes weekend evenings which means DH or I can't have a drink or have to interrupt our evening to collect him. He expects DH to drive him everywhere until I can drive again, and the problem is he knows that I don't really want him to cycle at night as the main road has a lot of lorries on it.
He is charm itself when his girlfriend or friends are here, but I feel very very frustrated and to be honest extremely hurt, that when I really need a bit of help, or even an offer of a cup of tea or ten minutes company, he has continued in this very selfish way. I already tried sitting down with him and calmly discussing how I feel, but he says he doesn't see it that way, but doesn't offer an explanation why.
Can anyone suggest anything that has worked for them? I feel very used at the moment, and am probably feeling a bit low from the broken leg. I though that when I really needed some support he would be different.
I would not be asking for a lot, perhaps half an hour of his time a day until my cast comes off- is that too much to expect?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
What might work for mum with broken leg and lazy 17 y.o.?
18 replies
attheendofmythether · 20/02/2014 13:15
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.