When my teens have their own homes I shall.

(112 Posts)
dontcallmemam Thu 30-Jan-14 17:58:52

Leave my shoes right by the door so it can't open
Switch the tv on then walk out of the room
Lie on the sofa, remove 1 sock & leave it there
Shout at them from the other end of the house
Sneer at whatever they're cooking
Have major full-on rolling about fights on the floor with DH swearing loudly
Shout 'I'm staaarving, there's nothing decent to eat in this house'
Leave damp towels on the bed/floor/landing

Can't wait!

hippity Thu 30-Jan-14 18:01:49

stand in front of their fridge opening and closing the door with a sour look on my face

Have sex secure in the knowledge that there will be no interruptions hmm
Save squillions on food and utility bills.
Know where all my clothes/shoes/make up are

DD and her lovely BF are viewing a house on Wednesday...

grin

standsonshiftingsands Thu 30-Jan-14 18:04:04

Throw myself on the sofa with a Kevin the teenager like shrug when asked to take a cup through to the kitchen

Not flush the toilet

Leave dirty plates on the table

Endlessly ask 'Have you seen my blah blah' when I haven't even looked myself

webwiz Thu 30-Jan-14 18:05:51

I'm going to
Drink all the milk and put the empty carton back so that they think there is still some left.
Eat a vital ingredient of whatever they were planning to cook for dinner and just wait for them to find out when they actually start cooking
Say I'm going out and need a lift but still be sat there 2 hours later because my plans have changed and I haven't bothered to tell anyone.
Have showers very late at night and use up all the hot water.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Thu 30-Jan-14 18:08:56

Drink the emergency bottle of Baileys...and the bottle of gin bought for his birthday...and his naice whiskey...eat his chocolates...leave his heater on all night...download porn on to his computer.

MothratheMighty Thu 30-Jan-14 18:10:36

I have a very clear division in my mind of the things I will do in my own home when they leave, and the things I will do in their homes when I visit. grin

MaureenMLove Thu 30-Jan-14 18:16:12

Make a cup of tea, drip the tea bag down the side of the cup, spill the sugar in it, then leave the teaspoon and tea bag on the side to go cold and solid.

Put some washing on, then go out and remember 3 days later that it's still in the machine, so have to put it back on. Then go out and remember 3 days later.....

Keep pushing more and more rubbish into the bin, even though it really needs emtpying.

Leave the empty recycling bins in the middle of the drive so that she can't get her car on it and has to park half out on the road to get out and move them.

dontcallmemam Thu 30-Jan-14 18:20:04

I've forgotten one
Leave crumb covered plates and half drunks cups of coffee under the bed. I may accidentally knock one over and forget about it.

Custardo Thu 30-Jan-14 18:22:56

i am going to eat cereal out of a pan and then leave it on the floor of one of their bedrooms, i will also take all their cutlery and put it under their beds

TheFutureMrsB Thu 30-Jan-14 18:28:20

I'll have a nice clean house with no big piles of washing smile

I'll go around to their houses and put their dirty washing at the bottom of their beds and not tell them about it, eat the cereal and put the empty box back where I found it and not tell them that the box is now empty, use all their loo roll in one visit and block the toilet .... ummm, finish off any milk and put the empty back in the fridge, ditto the pop, leave my socks under the cushions on the sofa and my coat draped over the toy box, wait for them to mop the floors then trample through with my muddy shoes, the list is endless! The best will be me changing their WiFi password and not tell anyone what it is glares at ds1 couldn't for the life of me figure out what had happened. May also pinch their tv/sky remotes too!

bigTillyMint Thu 30-Jan-14 19:02:58

Not flush the toilet So it's not just my mingers that do thisgrin

headlesslambrini Thu 30-Jan-14 19:08:32

I shall leave all bags by the front door,
Use up all the glasses and leave them in my room,
Forget to do anything they might have asked me to do,
leave skid marks in the toilet,
have a pile of clean clothes which I walk past on a daily basis without putting it away,
walk everywhere in muddy shoes.

Travelledtheworld Thu 30-Jan-14 20:17:33

Lie in bed until 1200 and then shout "bring me food".

Get up no earlier than 5 minutes before it is time to leave the house for work and school.

Respond to every reasonable request with " Muuuuum, stop being so annoying".

Change my outfit at least three times a day. Leave lightly worn clothes on bedroom floor for a couple of weeks and then shove them all in the laundry basket to save the trouble of putting them away.

Shove crisp packets and chocolate biscuit wrappers under the living room sofa.

Travelledtheworld Thu 30-Jan-14 20:19:02

custardo LOL to eating cereal out of a pan !

At least your teen bothered to decant the cereal. Mine just shoves his hand in, eats handfuls then leaves the half full box on the bunker surrounded by spillage. And I don't believe he washes his hands after peeing either.

mineofuselessinformation Thu 30-Jan-14 20:27:17

Sit on the loo and yell for toilet roll, as I won't bother to have checked that there is actually some there before putting myself in the position of being unable to move (previous teenage visitor will have used the last and not got any more).
Put back empty boxes and packets and get angry that no-one knew to replace them.
Stack glasses so that the bottom one cracks.
Help myself to other people's stuff but go ballistic if someone dares to look at anything of mine.
Expect other people to understand 'teenage grunt'.
I could go on! grin

elastamum Thu 30-Jan-14 20:33:17

I will sneak into their houses and hide their dirty crockery all over the house.
When visiting I will refuse to get up until they have been and woken me up at least six times.
If we go out I will make them return to the house for stuff I have lost / forgotten thus making everyone late grin

Spill a small amount of tea on the work top, then liberally sprinkle with sugar and leave to go hard.

Make a toasty and leave grated cheese all over the table.

Ditto most of what was said above.

Also wait until I'm just about to go to bed and the phone and ask to be collected as 'something' has gone wrong with plans ie shoes falling to bits, falling and hurting ankle, buying something too big or heavy to get home on the bus.

After all that I shall leave, but not take any of my 'junk (stuff)' with me so that it doesn't actually look as though I have left at allgrin

MissScatterbrain Thu 30-Jan-14 20:38:23

Spill food all over the kitchen and leave for others to clean up.

Walk around indoors wearing muddy shoes.

Leave the freezer door open.

Leave open boxes/packets and bags of bread, cereal and other food on the worktop.

Put back empty milk cartons in the fridge.

Leave dirty cotton wool balls/pads & wipe off foundation and mascara onto towels.

I could go on and on but I won't hmm

MissScatterbrain Thu 30-Jan-14 20:39:41

Oh yes and spread my "junk" all over the house instead of keeping it confined to my room.

TawdryTatou Thu 30-Jan-14 20:42:33

I'm going round to their houses in my dressing gown. I shall waft around their gaffs with my dressing gown flapping in the breeze. I shall fry all their bacon while wearing my dressing gown, and I will eat all their biscuits while waiting for the bacon to fry.

They will get very used to my dressing gown - its smell, its stains, its personality.

SwedishEdith Thu 30-Jan-14 20:42:40

Trowel on my foundation, then brush my teeth and wipe my mouth all over the white towels.

Leave my homework on the stairs and walk past it whilst I go up and down all evening.

Watch Hollyoaks even though I saw that night's episode the previous night

Leave a nice muddy fake tan tide mark all around the bath. Use white towel again.

NCISaddict Thu 30-Jan-14 20:44:39

Drink all the milk/orange juice and put the empty carton back in the fridge but will leave any half full ones out so they go off.

Awks Thu 30-Jan-14 20:47:38

hang 8 coats on the newel post in the hall
hunt down their nail varnish remover and use it all
fake tan on their bedroom carpet
dye my roots right next to the shower curtain
steal their opaques

bugger me I can't wait.

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