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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

What are your rules about phones and gadgets in bedrooms overnight?

72 replies

Dancergirl · 31/12/2013 00:06

Dd is 12.5 and has an itouch and a phone (not smartphone). She's reasonably sensible regarding their use as far as I can see. Up to now she hasn't been 'into' her gadgets as much as some teens but I think that's changing.

She's not interested in Facebook but she's on Instagram like her friends and also texts a fair bit. In term time I try and encourage phones and gadgets off by 8.30ish but it's not completely set in stone and there's a bit of leeway. However I've realised that her phone and iPod are still by her bedside. She told me tonight (quite late) that a girl she knew was on Instagram as she saw her iPod flash so she had a look.

Would it be unreasonable to insist that phones and gadgets are left downstairs overnight for the sake of good sleeping habits?

What are your rules and do they differ in term and holiday time?

OP posts:

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ilovesmurfs · 31/12/2013 00:10

Mine are 14 amd 11 the rule is they can't have them last 8:30pm on a school night, in the holidays they have and them later but then put them outside their rooms before going to sleep.

mathanxiety · 31/12/2013 03:26

Gadgets outside room for DD4 (12). DD3 (15) goes to bed when her homework is finished. She has no interest in social media at all but has a Pinterest account and likes looking at shoes and fashion. She is pretty much a homebody and hardly ever on her phone.

DD4 is the sort of girl who would stay up all night yapping/texting if I didn't separate her from her gadgets.

I don't change my rules for holiday time for DD4. Nothing good happens after 10 pm imo.

arfishy · 31/12/2013 04:05

Gadgets outside room for DD (11).

RatherBeOnThePiste · 31/12/2013 04:14

DS 14. Gadgets left downstairs at bedtime.

DD 16 Keeps phone and laptop in with her. She's so different and has much more self control. Always has had.

nooka · 31/12/2013 04:14

dd and ds both have iPods (not phones) and the rules are that they should be off at bedtime (10pm). If I caught either of them playing after that then the device gets confiscated (same as books really). It's not been a problem as yet (14 and 13).

arfishy · 31/12/2013 05:39

Actually, DD is allowed an iPod, which is loaded with talking books. I disable access to the router for the device between 8pm and 8am, so she couldn't get online even if she wanted to. I set it up years ago as soon as she moved from CD books to ipod ones, as she got an iPod for audio books quite young (we won it).

TobyLerone · 31/12/2013 06:26

I don't have any rules about this. They seem to manage well enough without my interference.

livinginawinterwonderland · 31/12/2013 06:57

My parents never had any rules. I self-regulated my computer use and beditmes from about 13 or so. Yes, at first I had a few late nights and suffered for it at school the next day, but I soon learned that going to bed at 11pm and getting 8 hours sleep was more fun than staying up late and feeling like shit.

I think after a certain age, they need to self-regulate and learn to put themselves to bed. Same goes for homework. If it's not done, they can explain why and get a detention for it. After a certain point you have to let them make their own mistakes. If that means a few detentions and a few days of feeling shattered at school, so be it. They won't do it forever.

mathanxiety · 31/12/2013 07:01

You sound like my oldest three DCs, and DD3 too, Living.

DD4 needs to prove to me she has the maturity to handle freedom. The removal of her gadgets happened after I discovered why she couldn't get up in the morning, had bags under her eyes, no energy, wasn't concentrating in class.

livinginawinterwonderland · 31/12/2013 07:15

That's fair enough math. I think most kids can self-regulate after a week or so, but if they can't, and it's really affecting their energy/performance at school, then it's reasonable to go back to basics.

Slh122 · 31/12/2013 07:26

I agree with living. My use of laptops/phones etc was never regulated and I too learned the hard way - after a few shattered days at school feeling shitty I soon realised I'd much rather have 8 or 9 hours of sleep and feel ok the next day.
I gaz access to sky tv, a phone and my laptop in my bedroom and managed fine.

Slh122 · 31/12/2013 07:26

had access not gaz access. Stupid phone

flow4 · 31/12/2013 11:00

No rules here. DS1 is 18, and tv is his vice, rather than internet. DS2 is 13 and does a lot of face time with his girlfriend... But always manages to get up in time for dog-walking and school, so it has never been an issue.

finallydelurking · 31/12/2013 11:34

I have all gadgets left outside bedroom doors once they've gone to bed, including the teens. Obv that's later holidays and weekends than term time! I agree with whoever said nothing good happens after 10pm!

Dancergirl · 31/12/2013 12:04

Thanks all. I'll go with my instincts - no phones/gadgets in bedrooms overnight. I can see the point about learning to self-regulate but I think 12 is a bit too young for that.

OP posts:

ThreeBeeOneGee · 31/12/2013 12:15

DS1 (13) only has wi-fi access till 9pm (we can set the curfew on each account). Apart from in the summer holidays, he doesn't have any other internet access on his phone.

bigTillyMintspie · 31/12/2013 18:03

I am in complete awe at all of you who manage to get your teens to leave their gadgets downstairs at night. But no TV's in their rooms!

We didn't enforce that rule early enough with DD, and consequently DS. However, they do have to learn to self-regulate and both seem to put them to charge on silent on the floor at night. Like Slh and living, they do seem to self-regulate. On the whole

DH did manage to block gaming sites, Youtube and FB after 9.30, so that helps!

MrsSquirrel · 31/12/2013 18:37

Phone and iPod (and TV) off at 9.30 on school nights. No curfew during the holidays. DD is 15, but we have had similar rules since she first got them.

mathanxiety · 31/12/2013 18:39

I think it depends on the child, Dancergirl.

All of my DCs except DD4 cared enough about school performance that they were able to prioritise and manage their time well.

DD4 put up a bit of a fight about taking her things. I am looking for signs of a more mature attitude to school results before I let her have them back -- ability and willingness to plan and carry out studying for tests, leaving herself plenty of time to do a thorough job is a big sign ime. They have frequent tests in her school, and the subject material is posted ahead of time, with study guides and pre test sessions run by the teachers in the early morning. I want to see her taking advantage of all of that.

LaurieFairyCake · 31/12/2013 18:41

No gadgets or phone after 9pm here for 15 year old - they interfere with sleep if used just before bed so she has an hour free of them to chill and read before lights out.

ggirl · 31/12/2013 18:43

how do you set a curfew on wifi ?
and how do you restrict facebook etc after a certain hour?

LaurieFairyCake · 31/12/2013 18:49

Take the gadgets off them, they're plugged in to charge downstairs. I don't turn the wifi off as I use it.

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bigTillyMintspie · 31/12/2013 18:50

ggirl, it's on the settings for our provider (TalkTalk, I think!) if you log in.

MrsBennetsEldest · 31/12/2013 18:52

I'm another who has never enforced any rules. All three DS have self regulated and I have never had any problems. Falling asleep to the soothing sound of death metal, which wakes me up, is a whole different issue however.

usualsuspect · 31/12/2013 18:54

I never took gadgets off DS at night.

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