Cross dressing teenager

(9 Posts)
Worldturnedupsidedown999 Tue 17-Dec-13 12:46:58

Has anyone on here had experience of this?
I posted in LGBT but not much traffic there.
I am really struggling to be supportive of my young teenage son who has just told me he has gender identity issuers and wants to try cross dressing.
I know I need to accept this and be there for him but I just want to say don't be so stupid (not helpful I know)
it feels like my love for him is almost getting in the way of helping him as I just want him to be comfortable in his own skin and he is telling me he isn't.
I am very anxious and tearful about it all and feel like I am not being a very good mum to him right now, hoping it will help to write this and get others perspective on it all.

MrsBright Tue 17-Dec-13 15:51:42

Where has this come from? Has he just admitted he is doing this already - or is it just something he's heard about and wants to try?

Try talking him trough 'Why?' - is it that he just gets a thrill out of this, or is it sexual? Does he think he's gay, bi or still straight? What part of 'being male' is the issue?

Its good that he's felt able ot talk to you about this - clearly there are great lines of communication in your house, so well done! Do you know anyone he could talk this through with - a friend who is gay or bi maybe, just to get his feelings/thoughts a bit clearer?

Worldturnedupsidedown999 Tue 17-Dec-13 19:25:30

He says he has been thinking about it for a while but now feels he needs to act on it, it is not connected to his sexuality apparently but is to do with his gender identity, I didn't realise they are separate things but I do now.
I am having to process it at the same time as being supportive and it is that which I am struggling with.
I will try and talk to him again, being a parent doesn't get any easier does it?!

MrsBright Wed 18-Dec-13 22:22:33

The other thing I'd suggest is that you visit your GP, on your own, just for a chat. Choose a Dr who is fairly young and open minded. They may be able to suggest an Adolescent agency/clinic/counsellor as a first step for DS to start talking about this. One example - www.tavistockandportman.nhs.uk/genderidentityissues

MrsSquirrel Fri 20-Dec-13 10:33:33

No personal experience, but I suggest you contact Mermaids, support group for young people with gender identity issues and their families. They have a helpline 0208 1234819.

dyslexicdespot Fri 20-Dec-13 10:40:59

Here is a link to another support organisation. Good luck.

https://www.genderspectrum.org/

wakemeupnow Fri 20-Dec-13 10:57:09

Just listened to an interesting radio 4 programme on the subject of cross dressing, might help you to understand your DS a bit better.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01mxt88

youaretooyoung97 Fri 20-Dec-13 18:11:11

Perhaps a sit down and a chat with a cuppa? You seem so confused, which is understandable, but I believe you could find answers in your son? Only he knows how he's feeling right now, and only he knows what he's thinking or how sure he is! You obviously love him tremendously, so try to let him teach you to understand. Or anything professional which you need to know you could ask your GP?

LongStory Sun 22-Dec-13 20:46:56

My DD11 has been dressing as a boy for a few years now. She ignored everything I bought her and raided her brother's wardrobe instead, plus wore trousers to school.

I think part of it (for her) was disappointment in her friends as they are all going into puberty and their reactions to the boy/girl distinction, which becomes so important.

I have done quite a bit of reading up on this and it is much more common than I thought. The mermaids website was quite helpful. I'm much more relaxed about things going forward, and haven't made an issue about it.

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